Flip Flop Fridays: we need a breather! - and thoughts on managing expectations

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc.

Yes, this is an early post for two reasons: something special is happening today.  And, if I don't post this early in the week Kathy and Carol can't rescue my blog from oblivion! ha

So the meme above grabbed me a few days ago and thought it would be apropos today.  Hilarious, except SO true.  Hopefully, we all keep calm and stay friends no matter WHAT happens during this mid-term election!

++++++++

Then, on a more jaded note, I saw this devastating cartoon on Facebook:

I have two sons who had a dream to play in the NBA. Both were tall and had motivation.  Although I knew the chances were very slight to none, I did not stop them.  I cheered them on though.  My father was a professional boxer before he joined the military.  He was very very good but something happened in Chicago and he stopped the dream of being a professional and making it to the 'big time'.  Something happened, and we could only guess that he could not conscientiously take a fall.  Dad did not believe in that.

And whatever my brother and I wished to do, he did not stop us.  He was there to support us.  But neither did he encourage us much when it came to sports or music because he knew how slight the odds were in these activities and how dark many aspects were.

And although one of my sons started college ball, he realized that he was not 'built' for a starring role and bowed out.  It was a sad, but sobering moment that we all go through at one time or another.  As parents, you have to keep encouraging your kids to realize that life has more to offer and many other routes to success.  That son is now a preacher.

The younger one was under so much pressure to perform (not by me) that he actually quit the game and eloped in his senior year!  He has a scattered motivation and moves from one thing to the next and unfortunately finds himself in trouble too often.  Many kids have a 'Superman' mentality: they think they can do anything at all and nothing will affect them.  He bounces back when down and is energized to start again.

 

Our own reticence and negativity should NEVER be imposed on our children, yet I can see that it happens.  It shouldn't be imposed on our co-workers and employees and definitely should not be detected by potential or existing clients.  If your mindset tends towards the negative you should recognize that debilitating effect on your health, progress/productivity and move out of that into positive territory.

 +++

But I also see a lot of snake charmers out there pedaling instant fixes and wins, knowing full well that the chances of their systems working are slim and that they are in it totally to snooker us.

Not every 'get rich' scheme will work for you.  Not all business advice is suitable even.  You have to integrate what is possible and doable and do the best you can.  Try what sounds best for you.  Yes, strive forward nonetheless and mark high goals, etc.

But you have to detect false or overhyped encouragement and be real with your resources and capabilities.  As my Dad said: 'look out for number one'... (when I heard him tell me this, I thought it was a selfish attitude.  Mom was altruistic, and I picked up on that more!)

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Rainmaker
480,186
Jerry Murphy, CRS, SRES
Long Realty West Valley - Anthem, AZ
Anthem, Phoenix, and Scottsdale AZ Real Estate

My dad was always good at encouraging me in my sports endeavors, however, he always told me to have an education to fall back on.  He also said that there was always going to be someone better than me, so don't get a big head.  Good advice.  Thanks for the post John and best wishes to you and your sons.

Nov 06, 2018 04:38 PM #7
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

John- you know what a big fan I am of your posts!  We have to encourage our children and those around us to try and to be the best they can be. We have to be supportive. 

The name-calling and negativity have to stop. The win just for the sake of winning has to stop. Both sides and everywhere in-between have exhibited behavior befitting a child with a tantrum. 

Nov 06, 2018 04:47 PM #8
Rainmaker
2,643,405
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Managing expectations is 90% of happiness all together. Do you know what I mean?

Nov 06, 2018 10:40 PM #9
Rainmaker
2,643,405
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Encouragement is the key to everything. It could be voting or it could be knowing how get the best result out of thebes work life gives you. Kathy Streib

Nov 06, 2018 10:45 PM #10
Rainmaker
98,181
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Custom Home Design

Roy Kelley Hi Roy, glad you got something out of this one!

Laura Cerrano Laura, managing expectations is just one of those things that need consideration, and encouragement is always a positive gesture that works for everyone.

Kathy Streib Hi Kathy, thanks for your encouragement always.  I appreciate that and your agreement about doing that for our children in all cases.  Yes, the world needs to settle down and act like... adults? ha

Jerry Murphy, CRS, SRES Jerry, I think your Dad coached you well.  I left out the part about others can be better but I did emphasize education.  Thanks.

Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR I got saved by AR!! Too much negativity and unfairly distributed.  Thanks Dorie

 

Nov 07, 2018 04:17 AM #11
Rainmaker
98,181
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Custom Home Design

Jeff Dowler, CRS Hi Jeff, yes I agree with you and things need to turn around to get to a healthier situation.

Nov 07, 2018 04:17 AM #12
Rainmaker
4,861,465
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD
Roy and Dolores Kelley Photographs

Thanks so much for following my blog. Your commenta are always welcome.

Nov 07, 2018 06:17 AM #13
Rainmaker
2,332,377
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Thank you

Nov 07, 2018 06:37 AM #14
Rainmaker
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Ginger Harper
Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage - Southport, NC
Your Southport~Oak Island Agent~Brunswick County!

Politics on AR is a NO NO...

 

Nov 07, 2018 06:39 AM #15
Rainmaker
182,762
L. Scott Ferguson
Ask4Ferguson - Your House-SOLD Name in Real Estate - West Palm Beach, FL
Sunny Florida Real Estate Professional

John!  What an awesome read!  And clients do and will pick up on any negativity we have in our lives while serving them!  

 

Blessings!

 

Fergie

Nov 07, 2018 06:59 AM #16
Rainmaker
98,181
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Custom Home Design

Roy Kelley, I don't know how I hadn't followed you earlier!  Thank you Roy.

Richie Alan Naggar Glad to know you liked something here Richie

Ginger Harper Hi Ginger, don't politics affect member's businesses?

L. Scott Ferguson Hi Fergie, glad something of value was communicated

 

Nov 07, 2018 08:15 AM #17
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Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

Interesting post and yes there is a lot of snake oil in the real estate industry. I find perseverance is a great quality to eventual success.

Nov 07, 2018 10:42 AM #18
Rainmaker
1,259,980
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

Sending positive messages might not change the outcome, but can change how people feel about themselves and whatever it is they are trying to do. 

Nov 08, 2018 03:28 AM #19
Rainmaker
98,181
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Custom Home Design

Joe Pryor I think you should write a blog today on perseverance.  Great topic! Thanks

Kat Palmiotti Thanks Kat, that is a good point.  Have a great day.

Nov 08, 2018 04:11 AM #20
Rainmaker
269,770
Gordon Crawford
Gordon Crawford Home Selling Team - Morristown, NJ
Your Morris County Specialist!

There is great wisdom in your post John!  It is a delicate balance supporting your children and  living in reality.  No doubt you are a great dad!

Nov 08, 2018 04:58 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,400,125
Amanda S. Davidson
Amanda Davidson Real Estate Group - Alexandria, VA
Alexandria Virginia Homes For Sale

John, it seems the snake oil business is booming in real estate. I get calls daily about instant fixes for having more clients and just laugh. I think perseverance but, being realistic is important and your post brought that to mind. Glad to see this featured, well deserved!

Nov 08, 2018 06:04 AM #22
Rainer
90,162
Anne Corbin
Fritz Realty LLC - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

It is a shame that we all can't have our dream job. Maybe in the next life we'll be able to go into a career that could be the dream come true. I always wanted to be in the CIA or FBI, but couldn't get that college education quick enough. The dream changed and I was going to be an attorney. Instead of law school, I chose to have a daughter and I made the right choice.

Nov 08, 2018 07:02 AM #23
Rainmaker
362,877
John Wiley
Right Move Real Estate Group- EXP Realty - Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL Real Estate GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

Thanks for sharing from a personal perspective.

The thought that came to mind as I read your post was:

To thine own self be true.

Thanks for sharing.

Nov 08, 2018 08:08 AM #24
Rainmaker
98,181
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Custom Home Design

Gordon Crawford Thanks Gordon, I think my kids still like me a bit.  Like my Dad used to say to my brother and I: "they're good kids... when they're asleep".  Must have been a 50s thing.  ha

Amanda S. Davidson Glad to know I am not the only one getting the miracle fix emails every day!  Thanks

Anne Corbin Anne, we all probably had different dreams out of high school, etc.  We go with the flow often and perhaps could have done things differently.  But the main thing is to look at where we are NOW and do something about it if necessary.  Having a daughter is way awesome.  Congratulations!

John Wiley Hi John, that's a good saying to remember.  I like that one.  Thank you.

Nov 08, 2018 08:22 AM #25
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Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

John, I've been away from ActiveRain for a while and jjust discovered you today! Love your blog!  This one especially!

Nov 08, 2018 10:54 AM #26
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John Henry

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