Thankfulness (DAY 4) - Finding my Soul Mate
I remember, as a little girl, dreaming of finding the perfect man to marry. I always knew that I wanted children and always knew that I wanted a relationship just like my grandparents had - filled with love and a connection to another human being, like none other.
Heart & soul, good times & bad - life with my soul mate was not to be found until after a failed marriage. I had vowed to myself that I would never marry again. I would raise my two toddlers alone and would live happily ever after!
My girlfriends tried to connect me with their husband's single friends and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it! I was an independent woman and was doing just fine on my own. I even had one dear friend who was quite put-off with me because I felt that way. "You have so much love to give - finding someone who will appreciate you is not as difficult as you think!"
I didn't 'think' anything about 'finding someone' - it simply didn't matter to me - my mind was made up! I loved my boys, who I had full custody of, my job and my life! No one was going to ever change my mind, until...
I was discharging one of my patients, with whom I had really connected...on a friendly basis. I will admit to having deeper feelings for him but, absolutely would not acknowledge them because to me, it was not ethical to 'fall' for one of your patients! Thankfully, he healed quickly and asked me out to lunch to celebrate his healing. He was anxious to get back to work - yes, having that 'drive' and self-motivation was appealing to me. He was smart, thoughtful, caring and had quite the personality!
Still, no desire to expose my boys to anything but, pure happiness in our household. I had enough love for two and enough Tomboy in me to teach them to fish, play almost every sport and I wasn't in need of someone else's input. I know, very selfish of me, right?
After a few dates, it was time for Ray to 'meet' the boys! I don't know who was more nervous - me or him! Ray passed the first test - he and my boys connected INSTANTLY! He even mustered up the courage to eat dinner at my house - salmon, which he hated (unbeknown to me)! LOL I didn't know he hated salmon until a couple of years later but, that night, he ate every bite of salmon!
From our first date, until the day we were married, there wasn't a single day that we didn't speak - either in person or by phone. I was quite busy raising my boys and working and had little time to spend together during the time we dated. Our first summer together, he took the boys and me to Pawley's Island to meet his family and I thought, this is just too good to be true! I had found a soul mate with a family that I adored and more importantly, so did my boys. Little ones have a way of letting you know they are totally comfortable in their surroundings. My oldest was incredibly shy and he had no reservations connecting with Ray's family. My youngest never met a stranger so, he was the life of the party during our 'family' week at the beach!
*1996, Myers Park Baptist Church - A new family was born
We were married in 1996 and now, I can't imagine my life without him. I often wonder how my boys would have turned out without his parenting, his love and without the life experiences he has given them. I will often get home from work and Ray will tell me that he's spoken to one of the boys - they phone him more than they do me! Together, they're just birds of a feather and I'm now often the brunt of their jokes! And, you know, I wouldn't have it any other way!
Ray has been an AMAZING father to our boys. Passing the father test was a HUGE step towards melting my heart! ;-)
*Vacationing in 2004 (Matt, 16 & Ryan, 15)
No matter what I do in life - cooking, gardening, business...anything - he is my biggest cheerleader. What I ever did to deserve such love and support, I could not (and still can't), for the life of me, figure it out. But, every single day, I wake up counting my blessings. I am ever so content with my life and daily, I savor the most amazing relationship I could ever have dreamed of!
I've always heard that happiness is being married to your best friend but, I never really understood the deeper meaning of that until it happened to me. I woke up one day, realizing that my life was synonymous with that old sentiment and I had inadvertently found my soul mate!
There is SO much more to our story - one day, perhaps I'll write a book! For now, I am ever-so thankful to be married to my soul mate.
Thank you once again, Debbie Reynolds, for your Thanksgiving challenge!
© Debe Maxwell | The Maxwell House Group | CharlotteBroker@icloud.com | Thankfulness (DAY 4) - Finding My Soul Mate
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