Mindset Matters! It All Begins With a Positive Thought

Education & Training with The Lones Group, Inc.

The Lones Group, Inc.

Mindset Matters! It All Begins With a Positive Thought

If you sell real estate and you work with a broad range of clients, it is inevitable that someone at some point will either dump you or choose not to work with you. Or perhaps they will suck the life out of you only to have you find out later that after all your hard work, they just wrote an offer with someone else. When this happens and you get knocked down, you are the only one who can whip yourself back into shape and reset your mindset. The reality is that some people will do this to you. But the reality also is that many other clients will not. And you can't stop or slow down your business because of one failure.

Most agents don't keep a scorecard of every win they have but they are very good at putting up billboards to remind themselves of their failures. When you ignore your many successes and focus on a failure that you have had with one client, you give that failure energy. You need to put things into perspective and talk yourself back off the ledge. You cannot control what clients may do. But you can control how you react.

I have seen agents get dumped by clients and then spend a month sulking over it. They become convinced that they are a failure or that people in general have failed them. They may feel betrayed, angry, frustrated or hurt. Perhaps they had wasted a month of weekends showing a client properties only to learn after all that, the client went with someone else to write an offer. This is a reality of the career of real estate: you win some, you lose some. You will impress some people and you will turn others off you. That's just real estate sales! The key is to shift your mindset from feeling like you were betrayed to realizing that this is part of the business. Try to look at it from a positive point of view by being thankful that this client didn't string you along any longer than they did.

Most agents ignore the many incredible things they do for their clients and instead let that one failure leave them floundering. When this happens to you, it is critical to examine and document all the wins and successes you've had with and for clients in the past month. As you begin to document this, you will see your pattern of greatness – and that one perceived failure will become just a small blip on your radar screen. Every agent needs a positive mindset radar screen!

One of the most powerful things I used to do when human nature let me down or a client called to inform me that they had purchased a house without me was to sit down and go through my book of thank you cards and testimonials. And I would be reminded of all the wonderful, positive clients I had. Try this yourself the next time you start to feel like a failure because of a client's rejection. And don't let that one bad apple spoil the whole bunch!


By Denise Lones CSP, M.I.R.M., CDEI - The founding partner of The Lones Group, Denise Lones, brings nearly three decades of experience in the real estate industry. With agent/broker coaching, expertise in branding, lead generation, strategic marketing, business analysis, new home project planning, product development, Denise is nationally recognized as the source for all things real estate. With a passion for improvement, Denise has helped thousands of real estate agents, brokers, and managers build their business to unprecedented levels of success, while helping them maintain balance and quality of life.

The Lones Group, Inc.

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Mike Baltierra
Rise Realty - Corona, CA
Full Service at Your Service Realtor-Corona CA

That is one of the worse feeling when clients do that to you. That's a long time to sulk. I think we never get over it but we must move on. Great suggestion on looking at our testimonies. Another suggestion is to work hard for your next client and purge that unloyal unappreciative person out of your system.

Jan 11, 2019 02:43 PM #1
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

Yes, I'm quite hard on myself and really feel like a failure. However, I'm slowly learning to let it go, especially when I hear about other great agents that have the same thing happen to them. I now that it is just a personality thing. Most of my clients think I'm AWESOME, so I'm going to keep on trucking.

Jan 11, 2019 07:40 PM #2
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

I love this post Denise. We can be awfully hard on ourselves forgetting that no one is perfect!!!

Jan 12, 2019 09:31 AM #3
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224


Jan 12, 2019 07:21 PM #4
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Denise- - -"stuff" happens and we can "deal" with it in multiple ways. We have more control than we may have thought/imagined.

Jan 13, 2019 06:06 AM #5
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

We are philosophical. We like to work with like-minded people, or at least, people who we can enjoy and respect during our time together. We have found if we don't gel and someone chooses another agent - it's for the best. 

Jan 13, 2019 09:45 AM #6
M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

I love your idea of keeping a book filled with testimonials and thank you cards!   Something for prospects to hold, feel and look at in the waiting room, and for us to reflect on if we've just experienced a rejection.

Jan 13, 2019 09:51 AM #7
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana!

Denise I am forever grateful for whoever taught me many years ago to just let that stuff go. Don't think about it anymore. Think only postive and fun thoughts and ideas.  Always works!

Jan 13, 2019 10:39 AM #8
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Denise - we all win and lose and try to take lessons from losses but dwelling on the good keeps us going.

Jan 13, 2019 11:45 AM #9
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

We all have those clients who use another agent, or who disappear from the face of the earth. Reminding ourselves of all our great client interactions is definitely a great tip to getting over those on the opposite spectrum.

Jan 14, 2019 03:17 AM #10
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

I have recently had a bad spate of bad luck - enough to make me think about leaving the biz. But doing that would give a higher priority to the bad over the good. And that's not what life is about!

Get up and start again . . . and again . . . .

Jan 14, 2019 07:45 AM #11
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

So true.  It's easy, if you let your mind revisit a negative experience, to let that take over your brain.  Recognize any mistakes, choose what to do next, and move on!  Great post!

Jan 14, 2019 07:35 PM #12
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hi Denise Lones, as hard as it may be, yesterday is behind us, today is a beautiful, new day with many possibilities.  Love this post!

Jan 15, 2019 06:33 AM #13
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Denise Lones

CSP, MIRM, CDEI - Real Estate Coaching & Branding
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