Monday Musings: Say Something, I am Giving Up on You!

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Napa Consultants

In our mastermind, yesterday morning, we discussed how often relationships suffer, fail or break down, because of our sole/exclusive reliance on the electronic world (text and email) to communicate. We all had noticed how the reliance on email and text has created a reluctance to pick up our Smart phone and just call.

 

The title for this post comes from the lyrics of “Say Something” written by indie band, A Great Big World. The video expressed it beautifully. Sometimes, it is a question of swallowing your pride, and picking up the phone, if you are upset.

 

Our mastermind partner is an executive coach. He mentioned a breakdown with the Skype session he was having with his client in Dubai. He did not hesitate to call his client’s cell directly and spend the extra dollars for this long-distance call. Part of good communication skills is using whatever means you have at hand to maintain a relationship, whether it is personal or business. We have called France directly, when Skype did not work, and now have an international conference call number as an added safety net.

 

Recently, we had no response to electronic communications from friends. Since they are avid off the grid travelers, we assumed they were off somewhere on the planet enjoying themselves. We made another recent attempt via email. We received an interesting response accusing us of “ghosting” them, by having “snail” mail (Christmas card) returned, electronic messages, and texts not responded to.

 

Ron promptly picked up the phone, called and left a lengthy message. He assured them we loved them. As of this post five days have passed, and we had not heard back. It must be our turn to be “ghosted!”

 

We had another friend’s Christmas card returned by the post office also. She jotted us a note via email, and we promptly responded. The US post office occasionally works in mysterious ways. We are still waiting for a jar of honey that our graphic designer sent us from her beehives three years ago…The Internet is not fail-proof either, emails and texts disappear also, we experienced that last year with the fires, power outages and subsequent mudslides. Our friends picked up the phone!

 

We both like the convenience of email. At the same time, we are careful of how we write our messages, because it can be misinterpreted on the other end. We also enjoy texting also. We love seeing photos of our grand-nieces and nephews playing with their new toys. Again, we use it mostly with close friends in fun discussions. And with our clients, we usually text when we cannot respond on a phone call immediately!

 

Talking on the phone may expose how we really feel or what is happening in our world, whereas a text or email does not, even if it is full of happy face emojis! Many are hiding behind their keyboards. Meaningful relationships develop through verbal communications as well as face to face.

 

Yes, in a verbal or face to face communication, we may be vulnerable, intimate and misunderstood, however the reward of a real meaningful relationship is worth a potential heartache.  And occasionally you may have to swallow your pride, and say something!

 

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Written by Ron & Alexandra Seigel-

 

CAN YOU STATE HOW YOU ARE DIFFERENT AND BETTER THAN YOUR COMPETITION IN LESS THAN 30 SECONDS?

 

ABOUT:  Luxury Real Estate is a high stakes game. Commissions are substantial! We help luxury real estate professionals get to the listing table more often and win listings more frequently.  If you want to be the market leader, the personal or company brand that your target market thinks of first and refers most often, you need an Elevator Statement to accelerate the process.  We can get you there!

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Watch the video above to see and hear how we do it. 

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Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Gabe Sanders 02/16/2019 09:00 PM
  2. Michelle Carr-Crowe Just Call 408-252-8900 Top 1%! 02/18/2019 12:33 PM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Groups:
Bananatude
Inspiration Station
Old Farts Club

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Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP I think that our post has nothing to do with the mastermind group, it has to do with the deterioration of communication in today's real estate and other professions' world, where the human touch is forgotten and replaced by gizmos and short cuts. A

Feb 05, 2019 09:12 AM #39
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

James Dray 

Sunny skies are here through next Tuesday.  I know you are on your way to CA. We agree that eyeball to eyeball is important, so we would love to see you and meet your wife, if your journey heads our way.  A

Feb 05, 2019 09:16 AM #40
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Gabe Sanders thank you for emphasizing that we don't know if the message was actually read.  That is such an important distinction.  This is a perfect example why I love real comments from people who actually read the post.  I learn so much and I am inspired as a result.  A

Feb 05, 2019 09:18 AM #41
Rainmaker
5,077,726
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

We had a returned Christmas card. Sadly, her husband, one of my past business partners,  passed away and she moved to a seniors community.

Feb 05, 2019 10:17 AM #42
Rainmaker
714,446
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

We saw a wonderful video recently about two friends in a relationship interpreting their other halfs texts completely differently. One saw everything through rose colored glasses, the other saw everything with anger. It is so easy to misinterpret what someone says even when talking with them. Especially if English is not their native language. Talk about rejection with any native English speaker and they feel the angst. Trudy, shrugs her shoulders and says you got a No, so what!. 

Ghosting is a new term I have seen several times recently and need to research what it actually means.

Feb 05, 2019 10:21 AM #43
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 ghosting is a way of saying, "You are dead to me!" Yes, we can all misinterpret a comment especially in the electronic form, whereas face to face you can feel the love, the anger, etc.  It is like saying to your cat, I loathe you...and they sense the opposite that you really love them... A

Feb 05, 2019 10:26 AM #44
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Roy Kelley you did a bit of sleuthing, which is what I would have done.  Our friend did not do that, just took it as a nasty action on our part...He could have picked up the phone and called!  A

Feb 05, 2019 10:28 AM #45
Rainmaker
3,698,277
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Ron and Alexandra Seigel ,

I'm so glad that Carol Williams featured your post in her Second Chance Saturday Series. I've been out of pocket so trying to read some posts this week and comment. I can't for the life of me understand why this post hasn't received a gold star. Gabe Sanders is right "We should never assume that just because we hit the send button the message actually was read." Phone communication is almost as good as face-to-face communication and many times is needed instead of the text and email..its so much more genuine.

Feb 09, 2019 05:52 AM #46
Rainmaker
1,066,002
Joyce Marsh, Luxury Market Specialist
JOYCE MARSH REAL ESTATE COMPANY - Daytona Beach, FL
Million Dollar Guild, CLHMS, CNE, SRES

Good morning Alexandra, it was so nice receiving your call the other day. What a pleasure to personally speak to you. Although it wasn’t a very  long conversation it was very meaningful and made my day. Thank you so much for reaching out Ron and Alexandra Seigel 

Feb 09, 2019 06:26 AM #47
Rainmaker
651,338
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

This beautiful song makes me cry. 
We always have to consider that the other person has stuff going on that we don't know about, and if we did, we may not comprehend. Our journeys are so individual. I'm guilty as sin of ignoring people.
But yeah. Sometimes we just need to reach out. For them. And for us.

Feb 09, 2019 09:08 AM #48
Ambassador
3,836,773
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Ron and Alexandra:

I really like the messages about communication in your post. It's so easy to assume that a message we have sent HAS been received, and interpreted in the way we meant it, and yet so often that's not the case...or it was never received in the first place. Technology is certainly not always reliable, nor is the PO.

Jeff

Feb 10, 2019 03:40 PM #49
Ambassador
3,012,447
Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Alexandra, I totally agree - communication is key and getting the 'real' person on the other end of the line is too. I hate being directed to an assistant (or an operator) and then wait for a call back. It's like saying, "I'm better than you and my time is more important than yours." 

Feb 10, 2019 04:09 PM #50
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Jeff Dowler, CRS 

 I think that we all have relied on the electronic medium too much.  We have one of our clients whose messages go to junk for some reason, no matter how many times we have assigned out of there.  We check the junk every day to assure ourselves that the message is valid...do you thing that honey is ever going to show up?  We think Smokey Bear got it.  A

Feb 10, 2019 04:11 PM #51
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR thank you for your nice words.  The feature fairies do what they do.  What matters to us is that those who can identify with our posts put our experience into effect to avoid  stupid things like this from happening to them.  A

Feb 10, 2019 04:14 PM #52
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Debe Maxwell, CRS  I hear you, and it does diminish their integrity in my eyes.  If you call us, we have a live person answering who transfers the call to one of us, never an assistant...Quincy hates the phone!  LOL.  We are always happy to help.  A

Feb 10, 2019 04:18 PM #53
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Candice A. Donofrio  yes, though as it is we are not necessarily ghosting, we may be knee deep in manure, and a phone call would demonstrate care and love, rather than accusation of being ignored...A

Feb 10, 2019 04:21 PM #54
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Joyce Marsh, Daytona Ormond Beach Florida it was a pleasure talking to you also and a complete delight.  I loved the coincidence of your daughter having the Carpinteria Magazine.  They have beautiful photography, and I always pick one up either at the Wine Store or the Orchid store.  Be sure to have your daughter give us a call next time she is here...A

Feb 10, 2019 04:23 PM #55
Rainmaker
3,047,093
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Alexandra, how did I miss this great post, thanks to our friend Gabe Sanders  I am here. Yes I have picked up the phone and called Australia without being concerned about the $$ BTW thanks to Whatsapp there is one more tool that can be used when  Skype is down:))Endre

Feb 16, 2019 10:01 PM #56
Rainmaker
4,150,113
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Endre Barath, Jr. thank you for you kind comment. Thank you for the heads up Whatsapp, I will let the tech guy (R) know about it.  Wishing a delightful Sunday.  A

Feb 17, 2019 07:26 AM #57
Ambassador
1,896,331
Michelle Carr-Crowe Just Call 408-252-8900 Top 1%!
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

While electronic communication can be fast, it can also easily be done wrong and offend folks.

Feb 18, 2019 12:31 PM #58
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