Expectations can throw you off your stride

By
Real Estate Agent with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 PA License - AB067198

I am reading Gary Zukav's book Soul to Soul. In there he tells a story about his wife,  running a race. It began with a long uphill section, which then became a second stage also uphill. As they reached the end of this stage looking forward to the downhill part of the course they were greeted by another uphill section. Starting to get angry, she thought well everything that goes up, comes down she waited for the downhill section of the course, but no it continued to climb. Struggling with her anger it then dawned on her that the whole course was uphill. She readjusted her thoughts and put her energy into running rather than anger and completed the race.

Portuguese cobblestonesIt got me thinking. When I walked my Camino last year, I walked part of the way from Lisbon to Porto with a Frenchman, Andre. The night before and the morning of our day walking into Porto, which was a long walk almost 28 miles much of it on cobble stones. Andre who was pushed for time and only going as far as Porto had said maybe we will catch a bus. Walking into and out of these large cities you pass through pretty boring industrial areas, so this seemed like a great way around that. And, yes, they were not attractive. It was hot,  cobblestones, like those on the right in the photo, were my least favourite thing to walk upon. Some of them dated from Roman times amazingly, but I was still not liking them however long they had been there. So as I am walking I am thinking over and over, when will we take the bus. As the afternoon went on I was getting more and more disgruntled and angry. I was starting to get very annoyed with Andre when he turns and says "I know you really want to walk the whole Camino, so no bus today." Honestly, I almost cried, this was the furthest I had walked any day. I was tired, hot and my feet and knees were really hurting. Now some people may take that and channel it into the walk.

But like the example above, I had an expectation that I was going to take a bus at sometime. By the time I realized we were not, I was fuming and pretty unhappy. It is only as I read the story above today, I realize I could have enjoyed that day so much more if I had not had the expectation of taking a bus. I did somewhat realize this at the time and let it go and enjoyed what I was doing.

Crossing the bridge into PortoIt was pretty amazing to walk that distance, and to cross the bridge into Porto. Even though we then needed to find a room or a bed in a hostel, which is another story for another day. But I realize now, my expectation stole the day from me. How often do we let our expectations steal a moment, a day, a week, a month or even a year or worse a house or an offer from us because we fume and stew over them. When we really need to let our expectations go and just deal with what is and enjoy where we are and what we are doing.

That is where a Realtor helps when you are looking for or selling a home. We all have expectations and they can cloud our judgment when something good comes along and we miss it if we let our expectations guide us. It can be an offer with terms that are a little different to what we were expecting. It might be a different style of home to what we thought we would like. If you want help selling or buying a Main Line or Tredyffrin Easttown home, call Nick Vandekar, Selling the Main Line with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc. today, office 610-225-7400, cell or text 610-203-4543, email Nick@VandekarTeam.com, website www.SellingTheMainLine.com.

 

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Rainmaker
2,702,231
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

It’s kind of like caring without caring too much so much that you block yourself mentally from your goal

Feb 13, 2019 11:03 PM #12
Rainmaker
2,702,231
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Ricardo Mello It’s a fine line and a balance between the two sides of things to manage expectations. For me it’s kind of about knowing myself.

Feb 13, 2019 11:04 PM #13
Rainmaker
1,349,145
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

This is such a great point, that expectations can get in the way of truly enjoying an experience. On another note, I think many times disagreements are caused by mis-aligned expectations. One person expects one thing, and the other doesn't. Going with the flow, and not expecting anything in particular, can make every moment a lot more enjoyable.

Feb 14, 2019 03:38 AM #14
Rainmaker
192,019
L. Scott Ferguson
Ask4Ferguson - Your House-SOLD Name in Real Estate - West Palm Beach, FL
Sunny Florida Real Estate Professional

Funny how life can throw you curve balls!  Expect the unexpected and make the best of it right?  Haha.  Real Estate! :)

 

Blessings,

 

Fergie

Feb 14, 2019 06:31 AM #15
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Ron and Alexandra Seigel wise course, sometimes though we don't even realize at first we had an expectation.

William Feela I remember my mother telling me that.

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP thank you, I am humbled, your comments are always so positive and uplifting. I am always excited to read them.

Amanda S. Davidson thank you. On my route I was actually lucky and was able to find a bed every night. However, on reaching Porto we did have to search through some hotels. But you have given me a post to ponder and see how I can point it to real estate. Maybe as you say the search for a home when buying.

Carol Williams I am trying to learn to accept what is, and not what I want or expect. Not an easy lesson to live.

Feb 14, 2019 06:56 AM #16
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Michael Jacobs one step at a time is the best way, to live in the now and just enjoy.

Kathy Streib very true as i said to Michael above. Sometimes we know it, but we don't live it, it is hard applying what we know often. That is why life is always teaching us.

Michael Eisenberg that is a good comment and when we understand that it can make life easier.

Ricardo Mello I think we all need to work on our expectations.

Laura Cerrano it comes down I think, to working without expectations, I am not sure how goals fit into this, but just letting things be what they are without letting results affectyour attitude, mood or life.

 

Feb 14, 2019 07:05 AM #17
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

 

Kat Palmiotti yes, going with the flow, without having an expectation is a good way to live. Life would be more enjoyable.

L. Scott Ferguson if we are truly living without expectations those curve balls will not upset us at all and we will take them in stride.

 

 

 

Feb 14, 2019 07:05 AM #18
Rainmaker
133,646
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Loved your story.  If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Ha.

Feb 14, 2019 08:50 AM #19
Rainmaker
422,447
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Your well deserved Feature has some great lessons. It reminded me that my accident at the end of November which has slowed me down to a snails pace brings with it the gift of gaining new insight, and evaluating many areas of my life and the chance to meet new people (Surgeon, Nurses, Physical Therapists, etc.) and to enhance one another's lives by sharing our experiences with one another and building friendships I otherwise would never have been part of. 

Just yesterday I was able to meet a woman who just had a similar injury and my PT asked me to go and encourage her ... and I did. It gave me a sense of purpose sharing with her.

So bring on the next 12-18 months ... I am ready.

Thank you!

Feb 14, 2019 09:41 AM #20
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

John Henry that is pretty much it.

Diana Dahlberg thank you, sorry about your accident, but a good way to see it and glad you felt so good encouraging someone else.

Feb 14, 2019 10:35 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,705,296
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Nick, your post is amazing on many levels, and surely points out the dangers of expectations. Being open to what occurs isn't easy, but truly is the best way to live.

Feb 14, 2019 11:08 AM #22
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Lottie Kendall thank you for the comment and the compliment. Even when we are aware it is hard not to let expectations derail us.

Feb 14, 2019 11:48 AM #23
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

                      

                                      Thank you Nick. 

Feb 16, 2019 06:51 PM #24
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

What an excellent story, and it is so true, Nick.  Managing and setting expectations for ourselves, as well as others, is key. Otherwise, we risk getting caught up in an alternate reality - and wondering why we're off track. Focus is a big part of a realistic expectation - and a successful outcome. 

Feb 17, 2019 07:10 AM #25
Rainmaker
2,965,797
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Nick,  Excellent way of putting the two together and have a great story for us here in the rain.

Feb 17, 2019 07:16 AM #26
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Kathy Streib thank you for featuring one of my posts once again, really appreciate it.

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD I totally agree, and often we allow unrealistic expectations to throw us off our stride more than realistic ones.

Always try to tell a story Will Hamm and bring it back to real estate when possible.

Feb 17, 2019 07:49 AM #27
Rainmaker
554,083
Maria Gilda Racelis
Home Buyers Realty, LLC-Manchester, Bolton. Vernon,Ellington - Manchester, CT
Home Ownership is w/in Reach. We Make it Happen!

Hi Nick, thanks to the feature and to Kathy Streib. Most of the time, things happen when I least expect it. Perfect narrative for our day-to-day guidance.

Feb 18, 2019 04:11 AM #28
Rainmaker
396,881
Graziella Bruner
NCS Premier Real Estate - Detroit, MI
Associate Broker - Serving Wayne & Oakland County

Awesome read about expectations, it's amazing how we can decide to change our expectations or prespective on any given situation and it can work out for our good.  Thanks for sharing.

Feb 18, 2019 06:18 AM #29
Rainmaker
729,612
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Maria Gilda Racelis how very true. have a great week.

Graziella Bruner thanks, glad you enjoyed the post.

Feb 18, 2019 01:55 PM #30
Ambassador
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Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Nick:

I really enjoyed this post and the powerful message about expectations that you shared. Not only do you have to be careful about the wrong expectations, but one must be willing to adjust expectations when the situation calls for it!

Jeff

Feb 19, 2019 05:01 PM #31
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Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line
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