Do your eulogizer a favor . . .

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119

OK, I know this is off topic for a real estate website, but let me offer a piece of free advice. Please, please, please, do your eulogizer a favor. I'll get to the favor in a second. Saturday, I found out that an old friend passed away. His family called and asked if I would conduct the service, and of course, I complied. It went fine, but it reminded me of quite a few others that were a struggle. 

I've probably done a hundred or more funerals over the past forty years. I always sit with the family as the first thing I do when preparing a service. I want to know what the family would like the world to know about their departed loved one. Most of the time I receive a lot of great stories, some accomplishments, favorite hobbies and a lot of snippets of a life lived. My goal is for the attendees to really feel good when they leave the service. It's possible.

On a few occasions, I have had the family members unable to give me a paragraph of information about their loved one. On two occasions, I actually asked the family if they lived together. They did. How could you spend a lifetime with someone and not know them? I hope it was more that they were overcome with grief and couldn' think. At both of those services, I had a paragraph about the deceased. I had to create a service around that paragraph. It worked out, but it would have been so much nicer if the attendees could have walked out with a fond memory.

Here is my suggestion, go ahead and write what you would like the world to know about you. Where did you go to school? What did you do as a youth that was memorable? What about your marriage (if married), children, extended family members? Did you go to college? Where, when, what did you study? 

What's a life event that had a great impact on you? If you worked, what did you do for employment? Did you own a business? What were the loves of your life, i.e., gardening, pets, traveling, etc. Did you overcome a life challenge like cancer, early death of a parent or parents, or a child? What made you the person you were at the time of death? What were your favorite things to do? 

You see where I'm going here? Help the person who is about to do a eulogy for you know where to take it. The funeral I did yesterday was not difficult because I knew the deceased, but I've done a lot for people I did not know. Those can be a challenge, but when the family can share a lot of great things about the deceased, it does go much smoother. Take a little time and create your own eulogy text. I've told my wife for decades that I'm going to pre-record my own funeral video so I can have the last word. I bet that would shock a few folks, eh?

close

This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Groups:
Out Of The Box!
Dedicated Bloggers
Diary of a Realtor
Addicted to Active Rain
Old Farts Club

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
3,985,513
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I have never presided over a service but I have done many other things as readings and eulogy

Mar 04, 2019 05:49 PM #1
Ambassador
4,169,083
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Mike- much as we really don't like thinking about what is inevitable in life, you are absolutely right. And you know what, one of my pet peeves is having misinformation spoken about me. Guess I should make some notes for someone!

Mar 04, 2019 07:04 PM #2
Rainmaker
856,752
Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

Good Evening

That is a very good idea. Had never thought of that

Mar 04, 2019 07:57 PM #3
Rainmaker
3,345,365
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Mike my grandfather had a great sense of humor, he asked my grandmother when he was about to pass away to put him in the casket on his stomach and pull his pants down.... for all the phony baloney's that will come to pay their respects to have him kiss his gludeus maximus....  needless to say my grandmother did not comply to his last wishes...  my take is do good while you are alive and don't worry what people will say, because you know you did the  best you could while you were alive and it does not matter after that... but that is just my two cents:)Endre

p.s.: feel free to delete my comment if it is inaproriate for your post... I will not be offended...

Mar 04, 2019 09:33 PM #4
Rainmaker
3,825,661
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Mike. It is odd you would speak to this today. The last couple of weeks have been hard for me and I will write things down for you. Thanks.

Mar 05, 2019 04:57 AM #5
Rainmaker
2,726,519
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

This is a good suggestion, Mike!  And, it's on a topic we don't often address. 

That aside, I have often wished folks would have their funerals a little before actual death.  I have felt it such a sad things that folks provide wonderful eulogy to the departed, while they have remained largely silent about their love during their lifetime!

Mar 05, 2019 05:45 AM #6
Rainmaker
2,726,519
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

CONGRATULATIONS Mike, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

Mar 05, 2019 05:46 AM #7
Rainmaker
3,622,269
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Mike - the comment by Endre made me think of some who could say or had said the same.

Mar 05, 2019 12:16 PM #8
Rainmaker
2,847,454
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

You want people to smile about how you treated them and what you did to better their lives.

Mar 05, 2019 09:40 PM #9
Rainmaker
2,847,454
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

The comment was interesting enough to make me think and that’s saying a lot as far as how good the comment was. :) Michael Jacobs

Mar 05, 2019 09:42 PM #10
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
1,598,040

Mike Cooper, GRI

Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro
Winchester has a place for you! Call me.
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention

Additional Information