Alcohol Made Me A Better Realtor! How?

Real Estate Agent with Re/Max 10 New Lenox Illinois

Alcohol Makes Me A Better Realtor!  How, I am sure you are wondering? 


Well I have my Dad to thank for this little reminder.  First, let me state a disclaimer for my family who cringes whenever I write about my experiences with him.  I make no apologies because it is my truth I have lived I share.  Plus, just in case someone is going through worse than what I lived through, perhaps this will serve to give them the tools to endure and triumph in the face of mistreatment. 


Monday evening at the Homeless Shelter I have managed since 2006, I had a Guest so intoxicated to the point of just raging, looking for any excuse to allow Evil to take control and unleash it on the weakest victim around. 


People who excessively consume alcohol rarely recognize it as a drug producing four personalities!  There is Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde, Mr. Hungover, and the worse of the four characters, Mr. Evil. 


Growing up I endure a Dad who drank so heavily all the time, I encountered all four personalities all the time.  Mostly though, Mr. Evil.  I learned to fade into the wall after having enough encounters with Mr. Evil, who I was absolutely terrified of all my growing up years. 


This personality would come through the door attacking the first victim he would encounter.  My younger sister I would protect by telling her to head to her bedroom and close her door, or head to the basement once I heard the garage service door slam shut.


Too many times I was at the wrong place at the wrong moment he came through the back door his eyes seeing the fear in mine was like fuel to victimized me either verbally or physically. 


I literally lived in terror of this Man unfairly beating me because he needed to unleash the anger the alcohol brought out of him to express.


It took enough beatings to get wise enough to listen for when he was returning home to find some place in the house to hide, so I would not be the convenient excuse to beat up on.  I can so relate the movie “The Color Purple” when at the dining room table the meltdown payback moment occurred.  I can remember the lines so clearly “I’ve never asked you for nothing …!!!” 


For me, I was in my late teens when I decided I was taking my last beat down.  He raised his fist at me!  I told him you touch me, one of us will be leaving out of here on our backs, and it will not be me.  He lowered his fist and said “I see it in your eyes you really do hate me!”  I said “what you also see is whatever success I encounter in life, it will be a constant reminder to you I did in spite of all the evil you did to me!” 


For the first time in my life I learned how courage is fearlessness powerful enough triumphing over Evil!


I was never allowed speak to him while sober about his behavior while drunk.  In his mind he believed because he did not remember, he did not do any of it!  In his mind he should not be held accountable for what he did not mean to do.  Nevertheless, I lived with the physical pain and bad memories constantly haunting me.


Monday evening became a full circle moment for me at the Shelter.  I am a strong believer in we go through some things in life to grow enough so we can be an absolute solution to someone’s problem. 


At the very moment I thought I could take a brief dinner break after the thirty-five Men had just been served dinner by our valued devoted volunteer team, my Co-Shelter-Site-Manager Irene approach me with Dale there is a fight about to break out in the gym!


I hurried to step in between to two Men to discover one was intoxicated selecting who he thought was the weakest Man to victimize.  Oh what a familiar scene I have lived through so many times in my life.  I was more than ready for the moment. 


I calmly with a low firm voice told him to back up, turn around, and walk away.  Him recognizing no fear in me he did just what I asked.  I turned to the other Man telling him to let this go.  Sit down and finish your meal.  He will not be a problem to you.   I turned and followed Mr. Evil to insure enough distance because I anticipated his next move.


He turned back at me giving me all the excuses he earned the right to attack this other Man.  I stood there allowing him to vent.  I told him he was in God’s house a place of peace.  He needed to release this.  He would have to go through me to get to him, and I have never back down from a fight.  He refuse to let his anger go.  I told him I would much prefer he sit down, eat, and allow his body time to excrete all the alcohol consumed.  He told me he could not stay there and not beat that Man up.  I said so you rather wonder outside in the cold, then be here comfortable in a warm loving sanctuary where I love and care for you and your safety.  He said if you will not let me at him, then I must leave.  I walked him out the door.  Upon leaving I told him I am extending you enough mercy if you will take some time and walk off this anger, I am willing to allow you to return.


This is a Guest who when sober is a joy to have stay at the shelter.  I have observed him to be humorous with and likeable by the other Guests.  I bet I can make a safe bet when sober when the other Guests tell him about his behavior he will say he does not remember, or he really did not mean any of it?


If you have read this far you may remember at the start of this message I stated alcohol has made me a better Realtor.  I bet you are wondering how?


Having to endure so many unfair beatings growing up, I learned to turn terror into courage.  I learned to make fear work for me by being fearless in my adult life.  Having fear be such a familiar companion growing up, it taught me it can never stand strong against courage.  Once I discovered the power of courage, I learned to value Dale.  I learned I had the ability to possessed gifts, talents, abilities, ambition, cultivated skills, applied knowledge, and gained wisdom I could share whereby others could benefit from, upon cooperating with what I had to share.


This courage is especially helpful in this day in age of easily obtained internet based knowledge.   Real estate information is so easily accessible it is easy for Buyers to fall into the trap of thinking they know more than the genuine real estate expert professional serving them.


The hardest part of my work is convincing a Consumer they really do need to follow my guidance if they want to get on the smoothest path to achieving their homeownership goal.  So often they want to challenge me with insubordination, when I tell them the first step when they plan to finance their purchase is to do their financing homework first.  This means allowing a Mortgage Professional I trust to determine if they can procure financing within their budget.


I have been on the wrong side of a transaction when I have allowed fear to be stronger than courage in allowing a Buyer to dictate their unwise conduct because I feared losing them as a Client.   


I write the wrong side because it really does feel like the wrong side when thirty to sixty days into a home under contract deal pending I must tell a Seller who organized their moving agenda, I am sorry this Buyer I procured for you it turns out just discovered some skeletons in their financial history they now need time to clean up.  How much time?  Well, it may take longer than you are willing to wait.


Now, imagine the reaction of a Seller who has the one ideal home they really want under contract contingent upon the close of their present home.  Imagine how quickly they can turn into Mr. Evil wanting to take out revenge on me and my Buyer?


Imagine a Buyer having given moving notice to their Landlord who has procured a new Tenant for their place, leased signed!  Now, they really began to fear the possible reality of homelessness due to all they have research somehow convinced them it is perfectly just fine to shop for a home, get it under contract and then discover if they can truly buy it.  Please re-read this paragraph again allowing it to really sink in!


Having lived through being the painful victim of the over consumption of alcohol, it altering behavior to the point of my learning how to transform fear into big bad boss and bold courage, I can confidently say to a Buyer if you will just unconditionally follow my guidance, I can get you to your goal very smoothly, efficiently, and with a whole lot less pain than you insisting on doing it your way, which could be very costly to you!


When I was going through all of the pain alcohol caused me, I never ever thought there would be a day I could say, it possessed the power to make me a better for person for all I endured.  Being a long continuous victim of Alcohol over consumption introduced me to the confidence gained by lots of relocation problem solving for hundreds of successful Buyers who trusted me to be the solution to their relocating problem. 


Daily, I live to solve lots of relocating problems.  Just remember though, you must possess the courage to follow my good guidance working for your best interest in you achieving your relocating goal!

Comments (15)

James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Dale.

What an outstanding read.  Sorry to hear you went through what you did, but it sure did build a foundation to make you a better man.  Carol Williams here you go, Kathy Streib you may want to look at this one also

Mar 20, 2019 02:22 AM
Dale Taylor
Re/Max 10 New Lenox Illinois - Frankfort, IL
Realtor = Chicago Illinois Homes Townhomes Condos

James one of my favorite vacations in my early twentysomething error was a roadtrip from Chicago to visit a childhood friend who lived in your town.  We journeyed with the goal of observing her perform at the outdoor opera theatre there.  Along the way discovered so many other things we liked about the town.  Indeed,  I love your town.  Now, imagine me driving there in the summer in a chevy chevette with no air conditioning.  Enjoyed every minute the very second and hour of it, as that familiar Aretha song lyrics reframe!

Mar 20, 2019 02:35 AM
Sham Reddy CRS
H E R Realty, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH

Very inspiring story, thanks for sharing!

I learned to turn terror into courage.  I learned to make fear work for me by being fearless in my adult life.  Having fear be such a familiar companion growing up, it taught me it can never stand strong against courage. 

Mar 20, 2019 03:41 AM
Peter Mohylsky. BRIX REALTY
Brix Realty - Destin - Miramar Beach, FL

Powerful story, thanks for sharing this personal information with us today 

Mar 20, 2019 03:54 AM
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Good morning, Dale Taylor I was always a happy drinker...and always a binge drinker.... I could pound 'em.... that was about 25 years ago.... my drink of choice is ice water with 2 lemons.....  that's as close to absolut and tonic with 2 limes as I get now!!!!

Mar 23, 2019 02:46 AM
Dale Taylor

Admire your courage Barbara!  Thanks

Mar 31, 2019 07:50 PM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker/REALTOR® - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I am happy that Carol Williams included this in her weekly "second chance" post. What an outstanding message. You took something that was terrible and used it to transform your life, and the life of others. Thank you for sharing.

Mar 23, 2019 03:16 AM
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

I believe all families are affected by alcohol in some form. Learning from its ultimate abuses or hiding from it has its chain of events which remain through out generations. When it comes to drinking, more is rarely the best choice. Great post Dale!

Mar 23, 2019 03:30 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

The effect of alcohol on one family member can certainly affect the whole family.  And, sometimes, alcoholics won't recogize their problem until they become sober, and then see it in others.

Mar 23, 2019 06:24 AM
Dale Taylor

You fully understand.  Thanks

Mar 31, 2019 07:50 PM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Dale thank you for sharing your story, and your wisdom. 

Mar 23, 2019 06:53 AM
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Glad Carol featured this one, Dale. I got to meet you and hear how you've turned a painful past into a character building example of positivity. Kudos to you. 

Mar 23, 2019 08:07 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Wow Dale, I am so glad Carol Williams put this one in her second chance blog today.  Excellent read and so proud of you!


Mar 23, 2019 10:09 AM
Dale Taylor
Re/Max 10 New Lenox Illinois - Frankfort, IL
Realtor = Chicago Illinois Homes Townhomes Condos

Standing in front of a drunk individual unwilling to allow rational thinking to gain control, reminded me I was well equipped to handle him. I appreciate the encouraging responses. Thanks

Mar 23, 2019 02:14 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Dale

Thank you for sharing what must have been a painful story to relive, but such positive inspiration for others who may have similar experiences to wrestle with.


Mar 24, 2019 09:37 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Dale - a powerful story and I am glad Carol chose to include it in her S'S post.  Continue to be strong and brave.

Mar 25, 2019 10:06 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Powerful post and words, Dale Taylor ... thank you for sharing it and your experiences.  I firmly believe that every experience, bad and good, is a teaching experience.  It's obvious that your lesson was an awfully tough one, but its outcome was an extremely positive one.  You are the man you are now because of it.


Apr 11, 2019 09:58 AM