Current conventional western-culture wisdom (is western wisdom an oxymoron?) is that we should set goals and then dog away at them, keep a positive mental attitude and use affirmations and visioning until we get what we want. Conversely, ancient wisdom (i.e. Buddhism and even the sayings of Jesus) promote a softer, more accepting way of life. Are we too caught up in money and achievement to actually enjoy life?
In your real estate business, it is likely that you have set income goals and prospecting goals and even broader life goals, like a big house and a new car and travel. But, are you having trouble sleeping at night? Do you sit outside in the evenings and enjoy, really enjoy the sunset? Do you move through the day lightly, with a sense of peace and joy, or is every day toil and heartache?
Deepak Chopra suggests setting goals and then letting go of the outcome, letting the universe guide you toward the far shore, pushed by the winds of fate. We may be even happier if we can learn to live with the uncertainty of life, fully experiencing both the pain and the joy.
So many times I see real estate agents and loan officers hitting the bars after a hard day, taking the edge off with a glass of wine or two (or three) so that they can hopefully get some semblance of sleep that night, only to get up and toil again tomorrow.
There is a better way, but it is not based on income and possession goals. The easier, softer way is based on an attitude of loving-kindness toward yourself. You may have to re-think some of the conventional wisdom you have accepted. For instance, is it kind to yourself to make affirmations like, "I make a hundred thousand dollars a year," when in fact, you don't? Is it kind to lie to yourself? Would you lie like that to your best friend? (I hope not.)
Be honest with yourself. Learn to love and appreciate yourself. Find your own unique path and follow it, being kind to everyone as you go. And don't avoid the tough issues either. We all suffer and feel pain. We are all struggling. The trick is to stay in the present, go ahead and feel what you are feeling, work through it and above all else, be kind and gentle.
I'll write more on this soon.