COMMUNICATE WITH EMPATHY - YOU MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

By
Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

 

I don’t know about you, but I have seen two different people convey the same message with drastically different results. Many times, it involves conveying a company policy or procedure that requires change. In other instances, it may involve coaching a person to change. There are two components which determine whether the communication is effective or whether it creates resentment. The first is the choice of words and the other is the attitude of the person communicating.

It is very important that you have empathy for the other person. Help them to feel as if their opinions matter. Next time try some of these examples.

•          You can accept other people’s ideas and respect them although you do not have to agree. Acknowledge amazing requests and outrageous statements with responses such as: "That's an interesting idea."

"That's a novel request."

"What an intriguing question."

Then listen to what the other person is saying and use those questions as an opportunity for the other person to be heard. You can move to other topics afterward without arguing.

•          People judge others by their actions. This means you are being judged by the perceptions you create with your words and actions. For example, if you act angry, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being hostile. If you sound helpless, even though you feel otherwise, you will be judged as being ineffective. Therefore, choose actions and words that convey the impression you want to make. Practice your message before you give it.

•          People judge themselves by their intentions. Acknowledge that the other person's actions or words are correct and proper (as seen by that other person). Even when someone's behavior appears completely absurd, that person most likely believes it is justified. You do not have to agree but try to put yourself in their place.

•          Everyone deserves courtesy and respect. Diplomacy gains more than hostility. It is always the best way to begin a dialogue.   When was the last time that you had to apologize for being courteous? When you treat others with respect, you set the standard for how you want to be treated. Remember the golden rule.

•          Everyone has valuable ideas. The most innovative and successful organizations recognize that everyone is an expert in some area. We all have unique talents. Effective leaders help other people excel at expressing their ideas. They ask questions. They show interest. They make the other person a star in their conversation. It does not matter who has the idea if it helps you and your organization.

•          Realize that you can always learn more about the other person's needs, priorities, and situation. Talk less and ask many questions. Always focus on solutions and results. Think positive. Don’t overreact. Remember that quick reactions often lead to apologies.   Start by being thoughtful and seeking to understand fully.

 

Assistant Buyer

Think before you speak. In the case of social media or email think before you hit that reply button. Remember to accentuate the positive and you will be amazed with the positive results.  For a similar post on our web site go to IT'S NOT THE MESSAGE -  IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.

'

Would you like to learn how to change the culture with the way you communicate?

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.

 

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Re-Blogged 3 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Barbara Todaro 05/27/2019 03:14 AM
  2. Sally K. & David L. Hanson 05/27/2019 06:07 AM
  3. Roy Kelley 06/16/2019 01:00 AM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Location:
New York Westchester County
Groups:
Coaching and Mentoring
Tags:
communication
communicating with your work team

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Rainmaker
5,305,040
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Grant, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Have a very special Memorial Day.

May 27, 2019 07:18 AM #13
Ambassador
3,227,485
Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Oh, this is SO true, Grant! I think that is key when negotiating too - it's often palatable when presented in a positive light.

Strong-arming may work on occasion but, you lose the audience after the first 'win' when taking that approach!

May 27, 2019 07:44 AM #14
Rainmaker
3,267,785
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Grant - and being genuine matters.  A lot.  Empathy.  Definitely.  Are you open for suggestions?  An excellent question.

May 27, 2019 09:51 AM #15
Rainmaker
222,036
Janice Zaltman Realtor, LEED AP
United Realty Group - Boca Raton, FL

I was taught early in life that it is the words that are important and not the way they are said. I totally disagree. How we communicate with eachother is everything. Empathy and listening are important. 

May 27, 2019 11:37 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,172,148
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Grant Schneider - This is another gold star opportunity for ActiveRain.  the more who see this the better. 

May 27, 2019 01:53 PM #17
Rainmaker
2,851,252
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Grant.

To go back and count the times I've opened my mouth, before engaging my brain, sigh.  

May 28, 2019 01:24 AM #18
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Sheila - yes it does matter.  Knowing you audience by listening is where it starts.

Roy - thank you.  Have a wonderful week.

Debe - big things to remember in negotiation for sure.

Michael - I would say being genuine and who you are is where it starts.

Janice -  I think I learned the same but experience taught me differently.

Sheri - thank you.  I am glad you liked it.

James - none of us are exempt from that one!

May 28, 2019 05:00 AM #19
Rainmaker
1,518,242
Amanda S. Davidson
Amanda Davidson Real Estate Group Brokered By eXp Realty - Ashburn, VA
Alexandria Virginia Homes For Sale

Grant, this needs to be featured. Communication and empathy make a drastic impact on every relationship - business and personal. Even if it's less than good news if it's delivered with empathy the outcome will be better because of it.

May 28, 2019 05:15 AM #20
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Amanda - it is so important that the term emotional intellence describes a good part of it.

May 28, 2019 05:44 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,577,644
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

This is a fantastic post Grant Schneider . Not only good for business but personal relationships as well.

May 28, 2019 07:13 AM #22
Rainmaker
5,305,040
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Tuesday morning, Grant.

Have a great day and an outstanding week.

May 28, 2019 08:08 AM #23
Rainmaker
558,091
Maria Gilda Racelis
Home Buyers Realty, LLC-Manchester, Bolton. Vernon,Ellington - Manchester, CT
Home Ownership is w/in Reach. We Make it Happen!

Hello Grant... If all business can be built on empathy and compassion, the world will be a better place to live in. Sad but true that bottomline is served first before any other else. 

As usual, you have written something worth pondering. 

May 28, 2019 12:33 PM #24
Ambassador
3,759,558
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Grant, interesting.  So I should consider saying:

    "That's and interesting idea"

    "That's a novel request", or

    "What an intriguing question"

Instead of calling them an idiot??? 

 

May 28, 2019 03:59 PM #25
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Bob - thank you.  It applies everywhere including personal and family life.

Roy - hoping you are enjoying the great weather.

Maria - it is all built on many individuals with feelings and always learning.

George -yes, that is so true.

May 29, 2019 05:01 AM #26
Rainmaker
3,778,056
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Grant Schneider ,

What an excellent post! Think before your speak..the delivery of your words is so important. Letting someone else voice their ideas even if you don't agree can help in understanding that individual better. You can learn something as everyone has something to bring to the table that is valuable. That nugget might cause you to think from a different angle on things and even learn something!

May 30, 2019 06:03 AM #27
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Dorie - everyone has something to bring to the table and they are more included and buy in when their ideas are heard.

May 30, 2019 06:15 AM #28
Rainmaker
4,038,002
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, you definitely must acknowledge their efforts and purpose on what they are doing, and great advice moving a different direction.

May 30, 2019 05:07 PM #29
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Joan - you really must do that so that they understand you care.

May 31, 2019 06:54 PM #30
Ambassador
1,819,514
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

We always try to put someone at ease when we communicate and empathy is critical. Showing the discipline to listen, coupled with genuine concern, is pretty powerful. Thanks for the positive post reminding us of this important skill. 

Jun 01, 2019 07:39 AM #31
Rainmaker
1,868,303
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Debb and Bernie - Thank for the comment.  I think that active listening is one of the bigest parts of this process.

Jun 02, 2019 05:31 AM #32
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