Focus on the Message

By
Home Stager with Room Service Home Staging

Focus on the Message

 

Yes, this is another one of those Social Media etiquette posts. Well, it’s not so much about that because the book is still being written about that.

 

Every morning, part of my routine is to spend a few minutes on my just a thoughtNextdoor app.  Being new to the area I have found it very useful in finding out about doctors, restaurants, and other services in my area.

 

The other day, one of the members wrote about a recent experience he had while having lunch at a local fast food restaurant. An apparent homeless person became aggressive towards him and his family.

 

All he wanted to do was remind those in the community to be alert to this. He said nothing more than that, nor did he call the man names. He did say that the person had become pushy and threatening.

 

Instead, many focused on the word used to describe this person. BTW the word was not profane, just a bit old fashioned.

 

This post generated over 70 comments. I’ve never seen anything like it.

 

Granted, he could have chosen a better word, but who am I? The Semantics police?

 

A great many of those commenting took him to task for the use of the word and went on about the plight of homeless people. A few quoted the Bible. Only later did others thank him for the heads up.

 

The author of the post jumped back in to reiterate that all he wanted to do was to remind people in our area to be alert to this since we live in a typically very quiet suburban area.

 

What does all this mean?

For me, it’s two-fold.

~ it’s a reminder to not let semantics get in the way of hearing the message a person is trying to send

~And, it’s also a reminder to me as a blogger to make sure that my choice of words won’t get in the way of the message I’m trying to convey.

 

 

 

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Rainmaker
4,021,888
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Kathy, you do see LOTS on Next Door, and I get frustrated, as it includes neighborhoods 3-4 miles away, not just mine.

Jun 13, 2019 07:35 AM #14
Rainmaker
2,448,720
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

The world is such a sensitive place these days, people are easily offended and we definitely have to pay attention to how we put things in writing.

Jun 13, 2019 08:22 AM #15
Rainmaker
3,523,803
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good afternoon Kathy. Very interesting. Another reason to avoid fast food places.

Jun 13, 2019 10:06 AM #16
Rainmaker
4,314,823
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Kathy,

We all are walking on eggshells these day.  Getting offended is the new indoor sport these day, and we are tired of it.  One can find offense if that is what they are looking for.  I think that Sharon Lee made an excellent point that it can be a form of bullying...

We are all wanting to communicate with each other, and at each point suppressing our thoughts...when one is suppressed on a regular basis, things blow up and go out of control... We have to all learn about understanding the context rather than splitting hairs on content...A

Jun 13, 2019 11:06 AM #17
Rainmaker
1,847,567
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Kathy -  I almost had to ask anything but the most innocent questions on Nextdoor.  I asked if someone knows whoo can put on storm shutters when needed but got not one response on the Tradition Nextdoor.

Jun 13, 2019 11:42 AM #18
Ambassador
1,612,049
Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

It goes the same in advertising. Somethings you try to be so clever that the4 message is obscured. I agree, keep you eye on the prize and make it plain and simple.

Jun 13, 2019 02:29 PM #19
Ambassador
3,775,913
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Donald Urschalitz I couldn't agree more. I mainly check in to learn about local businesses and safety issues. 

Wayne Martin you are right about that. Selective hearing!!!

Sham Reddy CRS we have to take a pause on all of this. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:26 PM #20
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Nina Hollander I love your analogy and you are right!

Barbara Todaro it was a big problem in Florida too. I spend about 5 minutes on it but it is good for warning your neighbors of any issues. 

Sharon Lee absolutely. If you're looking for something negative, you'll find it!

Jun 13, 2019 04:29 PM #21
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Me either Sally K. & David L. Hanson I usually pass by these but had to keep reading this feed because it was so out there!

Michael Jacobs that's why I try to read Facebook etc on my phone because these old eyes can only take so much of that small screen. LOL

Jun 13, 2019 04:34 PM #22
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD we have become too sensitive and too PC for our own good. Yes, there are words that I am glad we don't use anymore but we forget to hear the message. 

Mike Cooper, GRI that's exactly how I feel. Many people are so ready to find fault and point to negatives. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:37 PM #23
Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Myrl Jeffcoat one afternoon Larry and I were having ice cream on Atlantic Avenue in Delray. A young man came up to us and asked for money and we politely declined. He got kind of aggressive and we both felt vulnerable because our backs were to the window of the ice cream shop and we had nowhere to go. And yes, I know that drugs were involved. 

Thank you for the feature in your group.  

Jun 13, 2019 04:41 PM #24
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Lottie Kendall I remember last year my neighbor warned me about someone going through the neighborhood trying car doors to steal whatever they could. She was alerted via Nextdoor. You have to just bypass some of the more caustic posts. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:47 PM #25
Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Joan Cox I'm not sure how you can filter that but it would be nice. 

Brian England I don't like it!!! It's taking the fun out of normal conversation. 

Sheila Anderson it can happen anywhere, but yes, they're not good for us. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:49 PM #26
Ambassador
3,775,913
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Ron and Alexandra Seigel I could not have said it any better. I was in a fun conversation a few years ago and my friends and I were talking about furniture. The topic turned to Oriental furniture, and when someone mentioned that they care for Oriental furniture (btw I'm not overly fond of it either) she caught herself and mortified that she may have offended me.  I reassured her that she did not, but this is what we are becoming. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:52 PM #27
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3,775,913
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Grant Schneider I have found it very helpful for the most part. Before Hurricane Matthew I found someone to install our shutters. And, during Hurricane Irma we used it to keep in touch with neighbors. But, you have to learn to sidestep the negative stuff out there. 

 

Jun 13, 2019 04:55 PM #28
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Joe Pryor that's it exactly. Stop making it our mission to seek out the bad. 

Jun 13, 2019 04:55 PM #29
Rainmaker
2,827,881
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Kathy.

I find myself choosing my words, compared to what I would have used in my former profession.  I still sometimes, have difficulty searching for the right ones.

Jun 14, 2019 12:35 AM #30
Rainmaker
1,404,170
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

I saw a local Facebook Group yesterday where the administrator had to shut off comments on a post because it was just getting out of hand. He's also had to delete a few. People read and understand things differently - we have to be very careful to keep our message clear so any reader will understand what we mean.

Jun 14, 2019 02:15 AM #31
Rainmaker
5,264,663
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Some of the Nextdoor comments can get out of hand.

Those are good entries to skip over.

Jun 14, 2019 05:39 AM #32
Rainmaker
2,094,600
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

This reminds me of a situation I saw on a RV site we follow. I believe the person asking the question was asking innocently, but it caused quite the onslaught of hateful replies.

He asked something about whether black people camp?

I don't remember his/her exact words. Something about not really seeing many "black people" at campgrounds.

I know there are things like that put out there intentionally meant to start a race war, meant to stir up trouble, meant to get a lot of replies. It really didn't appear to be that type of thing. The question and his/her replies made me feel like it was just a simple question out of curiosity.

The name calling and hate that ensued was horrible.

Jun 16, 2019 07:13 AM #33
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Kathy Streib

Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224
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