Accepting life as it is!

By
Real Estate Agent with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 PA License - AB067198

I was reading Michael Jacobs post today about Kindness without Borders, a worthy read. As I thought about what he had written and how he mentioned that the practice is an ongoing lesson, I realized my  ongoing lesson is to accept what is. To be present, and without judgment, to stay in flow, without labeling things either good or bad.

We are so quick to jump to a decision that an event is good or bad. We label it and react accordingly. Our emotions rise or fall depending on the label we post upon the event. We then allow our emotions to control how we react rather than responding.

I have been trying not to label for a while now, it is hard, I catch myself doing it and see my emotions react to however I have labeled something. But, I am getting better.

This does not mean we cannot enjoy happy, glorious moments, but it does mean we don't have to crash to the floor of the valley when something we do not consider happy and glorious happens.

I remember reading a story, not sure where, but it goes something like this. A farmer had only one son, and whilst out riding his horse with the herds it stumbled and fell on top of him, badly breaking his leg. 

Everyone in the village considered this very bad and expressed their sympathy. Now the father had extra work, and how was he going to cope, etc. However, whilst the son was recovering the emperors' officers came to the village and removed all the healthy young men to serve in the army as the country was going to war. Now, everyone in the village, whilst they saw their own misery at losing their sons to the army, saw the farmer as being extremely lucky that his son had a broken leg as he was left behind. 

In the moment, we often do not know the whole story, we cannot tell honestly if this event is good or bad. Only in hindsight may we see it just is, not good or bad, so we might as well live in the present and try not to judge events or others because we never really know what they are going through. This applies to our customers/clients when they are selling or buying houses and the agent on the other side. They may be trying very hard to be professional but dealing with emotional issues that cause them to be a little short. So, please be open to trying to understand the other person and offer empathy before offering judgment.

I know I have always appreciated it when others have treated me like this. I was lucky many of my first real estate deals were with empathetic agents and I have learnt from that. Does it mean I always have gotten it right, no, I am still learning and some events still throw me off kilter. But, I am learning to take a deep breath and release the moment and realize life carries on.

If you are interested in using an agent to buy or sell your Main Line or Tredyffrin Easttown home who lives life this way, contact Nick Vandekar, Selling the Main Line with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc., office 610-225-7400, cell or text 610-203-4543, email Nick@Vandekarteam.com.

Posted by

If you are buying or selling on or around Tredyffrin Easttown or along the Main Line we can help you,  contact us or connect

  Twitter link  Linked in linkl our blog RSS feed of MainLineHomes Blog

Feel free to subscribe to our blog to stay up to date with our latest posts and information on the Tredyffrin Easttown and Main Line Real Estate Market. 

 

close

This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Topic:
Just for Fun
Tags:
realtor
home buying
home selling
main line
tredyffrin easttown

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
3,545,789
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning again Nick. This is a great way to meet the world. I try to stay positive as well but I am a work in progress.

Jun 18, 2019 06:47 AM #1
Rainmaker
3,272,375
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Good morning, Nick - thank you for the mention.  Your post reminds me how we can fortunately assist others in a variety of ways.  Sometimes it's just by "being".  

Jun 18, 2019 06:49 AM #2
Rainmaker
2,481,460
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

That is always on my mind and it seems so natural to judge others without even knowing them.  I reprimand myself all of the time because I catch myself doing it internally.  I am just glad that I don't do it externally and show the world what a horrible person I am at times for the thoughts that bounce around in my head.

Jun 18, 2019 07:05 AM #3
Rainmaker
4,358,975
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Nick,

Something we focus on practicing day in and day out.  It is easy to judge, much harder not to judge.  And we all need massive doses of kindness day in and day out, and we keep repeating this quote, by Sam Harris

“There are at least a billion people on Earth at this moment who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you.”

Jun 18, 2019 07:33 AM #4
Rainmaker
751,086
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Sheila Anderson we are all works in progress, when we remember that it is easier to not judge others.

Michael Jacobs very true, thanks for stopping by and being the inspiration for this post.

That is true for all of us, if only people could really see how we think, thank goodness they cannot Brian England 

Ron and Alexandra Seigel love that quote, and something worth remembering. If we can forget about comparing and just being then life is a lot of fun.

Jun 18, 2019 07:41 AM #5
Rainmaker
1,493,851
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hi Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, it is so easy to judge others without even knowing them. Even if others don't notice, kindness brings happiness. Thank you for this beautiful post.

Jun 18, 2019 05:24 PM #6
Rainmaker
1,750,646
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Hi Nick - what a great post you wrote today. Thank you.

Jun 18, 2019 06:56 PM #7
Ambassador
3,807,051
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Nick- you are not alone in working on this...and it is something that I must work on daily. Perhaps if we could concern ourselves less with making judgments of others and their actions and more on being a positive force in our world, our world would be a much kinder place. 

Jun 18, 2019 07:13 PM #8
Rainmaker
751,086
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Beth Atalay it is something I work on every day, always reminding myself I do not know what they are dealing with, so breathe out.

Lottie Kendall thank you, glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading and commenting.

Anything we can do to make our world a better kinder place is worth the effort Kathy Streib and yes it is always a work in progress because we have our own life events happening as well.

Jun 19, 2019 06:40 AM #9
Ambassador
1,822,833
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

This is a very worthwhile read and I concur completely. I have been working very hard to keep my gear in neutral when it comes to others. Observing and trying to stay positive and compassionate. Not as easy as it sounds, right? Lol.  I'll check out Michael Jacobs post too. D

Jun 19, 2019 01:56 PM #10
Rainmaker
2,100,624
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Being in the present is a pretty smart place to be...not easy but much healthier for us.

I think we are all basically works in progress and must learn as we go along.

 

I am learning to take a deep breath and release the moment and realize life carries on.

Jun 19, 2019 03:56 PM #11
Rainmaker
751,086
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD it is not easy, all part of that learning to respond not react philosophy...

Sharon Tara I agree and it is what makes life interesting, the constant challenge to grow and improve and become a better version of ourselves.

Jun 20, 2019 04:30 AM #12
Rainmaker
1,980,729
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 -What a nice thought-provoking post to ponder not only today but every day... perhaps twice on Sunday!

To judge or not to judge is everyone's challenge. Nobody walks in anyone else's shoes and some don't even have a pair of shoes. 

Jun 22, 2019 10:42 AM #13
Ambassador
3,807,051
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

                          

Jun 22, 2019 07:37 PM #14
Rainmaker
1,872,146
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - you point is a very important one.  Another way to consider this is that every crisis presents an opportunity.  We make of it what we will.

Jun 23, 2019 06:18 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,416,404
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

Good story about the farmer and his son with a broken leg. We really don't know whether something will turn out to be good or bad in the grand scheme of life. Trying to stay in the moment, and just experience whatever is there, is a good way to live.

Jun 24, 2019 03:51 AM #16
Rainmaker
751,086
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP thank you, glad you enjoyed my little ramble.

Kathy Streib thanks for the feature in your weekly round up, appreciate it very much.

Everything that happens presents an opportunity Grant Schneider to react or to respond. I catch myself all the time thinking this is goog or not good, trying to change that to it is, how do I respond.

Kat Palmiotti I am working hard at it as I mention in my comment above. Not perfect, but as has been mentioned a work in progress....

Jun 24, 2019 04:18 AM #17
Rainmaker
3,081,559
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Congrats on being featured by Kathy this week!  Great post!

Jun 24, 2019 06:48 AM #18
Rainmaker
751,086
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Thanks Kristin Johnston - REALTOR® I always appreciate being featured wherever.

Jun 24, 2019 10:29 AM #19
Ambassador
3,939,675
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

I enjoyed your post and your thinking immensely, Nick. I have to say I am a  bit of a work in progress on this as well.

Jeff

Jun 25, 2019 07:11 PM #20
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
751,086

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543

Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line
Want to know more or have a question?
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention

Additional Information