I was reading Michael Jacobs post today about Kindness without Borders, a worthy read. As I thought about what he had written and how he mentioned that the practice is an ongoing lesson, I realized my ongoing lesson is to accept what is. To be present, and without judgment, to stay in flow, without labeling things either good or bad.
We are so quick to jump to a decision that an event is good or bad. We label it and react accordingly. Our emotions rise or fall depending on the label we post upon the event. We then allow our emotions to control how we react rather than responding.
I have been trying not to label for a while now, it is hard, I catch myself doing it and see my emotions react to however I have labeled something. But, I am getting better.
This does not mean we cannot enjoy happy, glorious moments, but it does mean we don't have to crash to the floor of the valley when something we do not consider happy and glorious happens.
I remember reading a story, not sure where, but it goes something like this. A farmer had only one son, and whilst out riding his horse with the herds it stumbled and fell on top of him, badly breaking his leg.
Everyone in the village considered this very bad and expressed their sympathy. Now the father had extra work, and how was he going to cope, etc. However, whilst the son was recovering the emperors' officers came to the village and removed all the healthy young men to serve in the army as the country was going to war. Now, everyone in the village, whilst they saw their own misery at losing their sons to the army, saw the farmer as being extremely lucky that his son had a broken leg as he was left behind.
In the moment, we often do not know the whole story, we cannot tell honestly if this event is good or bad. Only in hindsight may we see it just is, not good or bad, so we might as well live in the present and try not to judge events or others because we never really know what they are going through. This applies to our customers/clients when they are selling or buying houses and the agent on the other side. They may be trying very hard to be professional but dealing with emotional issues that cause them to be a little short. So, please be open to trying to understand the other person and offer empathy before offering judgment.
I know I have always appreciated it when others have treated me like this. I was lucky many of my first real estate deals were with empathetic agents and I have learnt from that. Does it mean I always have gotten it right, no, I am still learning and some events still throw me off kilter. But, I am learning to take a deep breath and release the moment and realize life carries on.
If you are interested in using an agent to buy or sell your Main Line or Tredyffrin Easttown home who lives life this way, contact Nick Vandekar, Selling the Main Line with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc., office 610-225-7400, cell or text 610-203-4543, email Nick@Vandekarteam.com.