ARE YOU FAILING TO COMMUNICATE?

By
Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

What we have here is a failure to communicate! That line from Cool Hand Luke highlights the consequences of miscommunication. Lack of real communication is one of the biggest causes of dysfunctional relationships in our business and personal lives.

In real estate sales as with all sales we communicate to impart information and, in the process, influence and urge action.  Although our objective is to do just that, sometimes, in fact often, we do not get the response we expect.  

One powerful reason for this failure is that we talk more than we listen. We are so concerned with making our own points and having someone understand us that we do not take the time to understand the other person. How often do we try to insert our own opinions to try to persuade others?

Communication requires a sender of the message and a receiver—that is to say that communication is a two-way process. That means we must listen to hear and understand the other person.

We need to listen twice as much as we talk. That is why we have two ears and one mouth. In order to connect with others, we have to understand this two-way process. I think it’s a fair statement to say that how well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.

For some reason people place a high priority on speaking and presentation skills but do not place the same emphasis on listening skills. Without downgrading the importance of good speech, it would be better for us to upgrade the importance and quality of our listening habits. If we believe that empathy is an important trait, then we should realize that is impossible to understand what someone is thinking or feeling if we do all of the talking.

Active listening is not just listening but listening to understand. Try improving your active listening by doing these 10 things:

1.     Stop Talking. You can’t talk and listen at the same time.

2.     Focus on the other person. Give the other person your undivided attention.

3.     Show active participation. Nod, ask questions, try to understand and give your full attention.

4.     Empathize. Take a moment to understand the other person’s viewpoint even if you disagree.

5.     Keep an open mind. Be very slow to disagree or criticize. Ask questions to probe for understanding.

6.     Have patience for people who take longer to express themselves.

7.     Nonverbal signals have more meaning than the words. Are the nonverbal signals in sync with the words?

8.     Watch for your nonverbal signals and control your emotions.

9.     Provide feedback. For example, paraphrase with, "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying."

10. Use humor. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. Appropriate humor can help to insure positive outcomes.

 

CreateTrust

Your ability to understand and apply active listening principles will directly influence your results in your business, in sales, in leadership, and in your personal life.  For a similar post on our web site see WHAT HAS YOUR COMMUNICATION FAILURE COST YOU?

How effective is your communication? Could you use some help?

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.

 

close

Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Sally K. & David L. Hanson 06/24/2019 05:26 AM
  2. Roy Kelley 07/08/2019 01:00 AM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Location:
New York Westchester County
Groups:
Coaching and Mentoring
Tags:
active listening
two way communication
what we have is a failure to communicate
watching nonverbal signals

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainer
507,309
Sham Reddy CRS
H E R Realty, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH
CRS

What you wrote is so profound!

I think it’s a fair statement to say that how well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.

Jun 24, 2019 03:58 AM #3
Rainmaker
1,415,470
Kat Palmiotti
Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

Listening is a skill that takes constant practice and attention. Doing it properly can definitely dramatically improve the quality of communication.

Jun 24, 2019 04:05 AM #4
Rainmaker
1,870,128
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Barbara - the extravert type is not always the best salesperson.

Wayne - that's it.  Really listening take self discipline.

Sham - indeed.  That is more than a fair statement.

Kat - yes, you said it.  It really require attention and discipline.

Jun 24, 2019 05:15 AM #5
Rainmaker
3,211,302
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

Valuable sage words to live by ...and more importantly...listen to !

Jun 24, 2019 05:25 AM #6
Rainmaker
1,870,128
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Sally and David - yes, listen to is the operating phrase.

Jun 24, 2019 05:31 AM #7
Rainmaker
3,013,649
Nina Hollander
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Good morning, Grant... all of these tips are something we've "heard" again and again... but they always bear repeating to hear again.

Jun 24, 2019 06:03 AM #8
Rainmaker
5,307,580
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Grant, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Jun 24, 2019 06:04 AM #9
Rainmaker
3,013,649
Nina Hollander
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Carol Williams hi Carol... I'm suggesting this post from Grant for your Second Chance Saturday.

Jun 24, 2019 06:10 AM #10
Rainmaker
1,174,067
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Grant Schneider,

Another great piece of advice especially for salespeople.  I call #5 a "listening check".  Salespeople tend to be formulating their counter answer and not paying attention to what the customer is saying. This will end with the customer shutting down the "conversation".

Jun 24, 2019 07:45 AM #11
Rainmaker
2,486,716
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

All great tips, Grant, that we have heard before. Now, if those that are so talkative would just listen. Definitely a skill we should all have.

Jun 24, 2019 08:02 AM #12
Rainmaker
2,478,894
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Your advice is always spot on!  Communication is so vital and I have always prided myself on being a good listener!

Jun 24, 2019 08:02 AM #13
Rainmaker
4,354,786
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Grant,

Brilliant post on one of the most important subjects when it comes to human relationships.  We are just starting to write about this in our book however in a different context relating to personal communication as in relationships... listening and communicating without pretense, really listening.  A

Jun 24, 2019 08:16 AM #14
Rainmaker
3,269,306
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Grant - consequences indeed!  Well-written and a spot on look at a subject that is quite important in business and in life.  

Jun 24, 2019 08:34 AM #15
Ambassador
3,803,748
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Grant- so true! And I too thought of "Cool Hand Luke" when I read your title. 

Jun 24, 2019 12:01 PM #16
Ambassador
3,760,784
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Grant you raise all good points, but I especially love number #1

Jun 24, 2019 01:32 PM #17
Rainmaker
2,853,840
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Grant.

When I speak I demand that people listen, when others speak I demand of myself to listen, disseminate the information before I open my mouth

Jun 25, 2019 02:18 AM #18
Rainmaker
1,870,128
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Nina - yes that is for sure.  Just yesterday we were discussing two candidates where one did all of the talking.

Roy - thank you for your support.

Sheri - yes, that is right and they do not hear what is said.

Rebecca - I know what you mean.  Sometimes we want to say shut up.

Brian -  you surely have more clients because of that.

Ron and Alexandra - that is great.  I am sure that your book will be full of good information.

Michael -  I have thought about the consequences when I have spoken to much as well.

Kathy -  I thought that title would catch a few people.

George - yes, we have two ears and one mouth.

James - sometimes stopping when you hear others speaking and waiting quiets a room.

Jun 25, 2019 06:07 AM #19
Rainmaker
4,041,166
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, I love your FIRST suggestion -- STOP TALKING.   This is the best one! 

Jun 25, 2019 11:41 AM #20
Rainmaker
1,279,566
Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

FANTASTIC blog, Grant. I don't know if cell phones are to blame or if it's a host of other factors, but people (particularly younger folk, I've noticed) can't hold a conversation any more.

Jun 26, 2019 06:18 AM #21
Rainmaker
3,100,415
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Grant,  You came up with a great blog again here in the rain and one that I think should be reblog if it is okay with you?

 

Jun 26, 2019 06:40 AM #22
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
1,870,128

Grant Schneider

Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes
What is success to you?
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention

Additional Information