Now I know why the deceased looks so peaceful at the viewing. Yep, I've finally had an aha moment of clarity. You see, when you're married, you share your bed. That isn't so bad, but when kids are involved, you share less of your bed. It just seems compassionate to let that little one climb in on a dark night when he's scared, but that turns into two, three, four and suddenly, he's a permanent sleeper until he's four.
Then, the second one comes along. They take shifts and the process starts over. About eight years into child-rearing, you get your bed back. It's smooth sailing for about 10-15 years, and just about the time you get accustomed to being comfortable, grand-kids start. The genetically inherited tendency to sneak to your bed is passed on to the grand-kids and the cycle starts over.
A dozen or so years later, you're grand-kid "in your bed" free, and you get to spread out again, briefly. Now, the dog has decided that it would be better to sleep in your bed because he can protect you better because of the proximity. Instead of sleeping at the bottom of the bed, he wants to sleep between you and your partner, and he doesn't sleep like three logs resting side by side. No, he wants to make an H in the bed, and he snores.
My current 20 lb man-eater sleeps like a German Shepherd in my bed. He sleeps sideways across the bed requiring the wife and me to sleep on our sides. And, just in case you think it's the bed size that matters, it doesn't. We went from a queen to a king and back to a queen. Much like a snake in a cage, I have found that sleepy-time intruders increase when more space is available. I've gone from one lovely lady in my bed to one snorty rollie pollie dog and two cats. One cat wants to sleep on your face and the other one sleeps behind your legs.
Within minutes of retiring for the evening, the clan is all there. You've got to pick your sleeping position early because the furry kids will fill in any available slots like melted wax. Yep, that's why the deceased at a funeral looks so peaceful, he finally has his sleeping place all to himself. Ironically, with all of the kids, grand-kids and pets, I wouldn't have it any other way. If I look a little dazed and confused in the morning, or if I have a stiff arm or leg, just know that one of the critters in my house beat me to the bed last night and I slept the same way all night.