Words Matter. How do you phrase yours?

By
Real Estate Agent with Compass CA DRE# 01215160

Words, and how we phrase them, really do matter.

A couple of weeks ago I took a several days away from business to work on my business. Every quarter I take the time to review the prior 3 months and set up a plan for the next 3 so I stay on track for the year. My current favorite spot for this retreat is in the little Marin County crossroads called Olema, the gateway to Point Reyes National Seashore. Here I've found Olema Cottages which provides the space and calmness conducive to thought.

On this last stay I noticed the various signs around my little spot, "The Nest," and and paid attention to how I reacted to them. 

The first sign was the "welcome back, Lottie." I smiled as I walked up the stairs - someone cared; they were glad I had returned; I was important to them. Do we make our clients and customers feel that way? How can we do better?

No cats signThe next sign, on the front door, made clear the policy about cats. Instead of a brusk, "no animals allowed; keep them outside" the softer statement I saw read, "Our cats are not allowed inside...no matter what they say." Gentle humor didn't dilute the message. Yes, the resident cat came up once, was happy for a pat and then went on his way. He knew that begging for entrance wouldn't be fruitful.

 How do we gently yet firmly make a necessary request, or handle an objection? How can we make the necessary point while being respectful of the other party? Can we bring about compliance in a way that allows others to maintain their dignity?

These signs were the first two I saw that had a message for me. I'm keeping these thoughts in mind so I can easily remember to implement them.

 

 

Stay tuned for Part Two of "Words Matter: How Do You Phrase Yours" 

 

 

 

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Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Groups:
The Lounge at Active Rain
Diary of a Realtor
Bananatude
Bartender, Make it a Double
Old Farts Club
Tags:
thoughtfulness
words matter
words make an impact

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Rainmaker
452,705
Scott Seaton Jr. Bourbonnais Kankakee IL Home Inspector
SLS Home Inspections-Bradley Bourbonnais Kankakee Manteno - Bourbonnais, IL
The Home Inspector With a Heart!

Many times I've learned that it wasn't so much in what was said, but how it was said.  "pick up that trash" sounds a whole lot rougher than " Hey guys, the yard looks a little messy, how about we take 5 minutes and help make the yard look like we're proud of it?" Same results, but which one would anyone rather hear?

Jul 17, 2019 05:56 AM #52
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Bingo, Scott Seaton Jr. Bourbonnais Kankakee IL Home Inspector - you've got it! That's a great example of phrasing words positively. I know which one would entice me to take action.

Jul 17, 2019 06:15 AM #53
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Good morning, Carol Williams - I'll head over to read your post. I'm sure I'll learn something from it.

Hi Jennifer Fivelsdal - I'm glad you liked my thoughts. Scott Seaton Jr. Bourbonnais Kankakee IL Home Inspector gave another great example in a comment here, near yours.

Jul 17, 2019 06:18 AM #54
Rainmaker
674,249
1~Laura Filip
1~Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Lottie Kendall thank you for sharing this, really needed to read this. Taking time for yourself and gathering your thoughts makes such a huge difference. 

How do we treat ourselves and others? Great post 

Jul 17, 2019 09:11 AM #55
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Our world is busy, Laura Filip - when we take time to review and reflect, it opens our minds to new ideas, new thoughts. All the best, L.

Jul 17, 2019 09:20 AM #56
Rainmaker
522,641
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

This is so true, especially when trying to negotiate or ask a favor or discuss an uncomfortable situaiton.  Agree that a touch of humor can set the tone!

Jul 17, 2019 01:10 PM #57
Rainmaker
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Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Gentle humor can help foster cooperation, right Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR 

Jul 17, 2019 01:46 PM #58
Ambassador
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Courtney Cooper
Ben Kinney Brokerages Leadership at our Keller Williams North Seattle Office - Seattle, WA
206-850-8841

Cute no cats sign - and they definitely seem to have a way with words at your little hidaway.  Enjoy!

Jul 17, 2019 02:22 PM #59
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Hi Courtney Cooper - the inn keeper definitely knows how to get a message across in a friendly fashion, one that make her guests feel good. That's what we try to do, right?

Jul 17, 2019 03:04 PM #60
Rainmaker
5,428,274
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Lottie, for sharing your experience and your thoughts.

Jul 18, 2019 07:31 AM #61
Ambassador
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Words are so important - and the tone we use too.  I love your business get-aways...it makes such good sense. And thanks for the reminder to make our clients feel welcome and to use the right words to soften messages. 

Jul 18, 2019 08:38 AM #62
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

You're welcome, Roy Kelley - those signs left quite an impression with me.

Jul 18, 2019 08:49 AM #63
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Tone is vitally important, Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, which isn't easy to convey with signs. 

Jul 18, 2019 08:50 AM #64
Rainmaker
422,388
Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 480-966-9353 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Hi Lottie, I am not necessarily a cat lover, I like cats, who doesn't?! I liked the elegance of the reminder to to let them in, as opposed to just stating a "Don't ..." sentence.

Jul 18, 2019 12:17 PM #65
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Hi Steffy Hristova - I like your use of the word "elegance" in reference to the "no cat" sign. That's the impression the sign left.

Jul 18, 2019 06:41 PM #67
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Oh, I totally agree with all of your points, Lottie and love, love, love the signs! Funny but, our beach home on Pawley's Island has that same 'criteria.' We don't allow our own pets so that others won't bring theirs either. It just cuts down on 'issues' with others' pets.

As for the planning - I don't take a trip away to do mine but, have friends who do and I've always wondered how I would do, actually getting away to do it. Your planning spot looks amazing, Lottie!

Jul 18, 2019 09:26 PM #68
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Hi Debe Maxwell, CRS - those signs are great ones, I thought. I love my planning get aways; 1st and 3rd quarters I take just one day, head to a library or more often the former Officer's Club at the Presidio. 2nd and 4th quarters I treat myself with a 2-night get away, and really like Olema Cottages. Only an hour's drive from SF, but worlds away. Not only do I review and plan, but I refresh myself with time to think, solo hour + hikes, etc. I'll keep doing this.

I'd love to hear more about your Pawley's Island beach home. How far away from Charlotte is that? How often do you get to enjoy it? Are you on the water? 

Jul 19, 2019 06:57 PM #69
Rainmaker
3,269,826
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

We do take the "ON" the business trips and find them sooo refreshing in body, mind and spirit !

Jul 20, 2019 02:48 AM #70
Rainmaker
1,789,865
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Agreed, Sally K. & David L. Hanson - taking a break to review, reflect and plan keeps me going. Hope you find cool spots this weekend.

Jul 20, 2019 06:19 AM #71
Rainmaker
65,441
Ricardo Mello
Manhattan Miami Real Estate - Manhattan, NY
Manhattan & Miami Real Estate Agent

Great post Lottie

Jul 26, 2019 01:31 PM #73
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