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Sometimes, you've just got to roll with it . . .

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119

The old Forest Gump comment about life being like a box of chocolates where you never know what you're going to get is something that most people can relate to. Life can be unpredictable even when you're not expecting anything. It can surprise you, even when you plan. It can terrorize you, when you lease expect it. It can bless you, when you're ready to give in. That's life. And sometimes, you've just got to roll with it. 

June and July have been two of those months. I had a pretty good June plan laid out. I was taking classes in Atlanta in the early part of the month, and then I was taking my 4 year old granddaughter to see the ocean and the beach for the first time. I was really excited.

A year or so ago, I decided to go back to school and get another (and final degree) doctorate. I use it for brain exercise and I love it. I'm just slightly past the three-quarter mark in the program, and my Alma Mater requires that I be on campus four times during the program. The rest of the time, I'm writing from my office and sending work in. When I went to Atlanta in early June, my computer decided to die just as I was leaving town. Great. I knew I'd be doing projects, making presentations and submitting class work for the five days of class. 

I did explain to my professor that my computer died just days before class. He was awesome about it, but I still had to do the work. The college library allowed me to stay late and work early to get things done. My work, presentations and projects were all completed, but that didn't help with my follow-up work when I left Atlanta. I still didn't have a computer. When I picked my son and granddaughter up at the Jacksonville airport, Wes and I talked about my DOA computer and we hatched a plan to rebuild it at the beach. We bought a new solid-state hard drive and operating system, and it's like a new computer today. We just rolled with it, and here I am writing this blog on it. 

That was challenging, but it was nothing like what would greet me when I returned home. The first thing that hit me when I returned to work, was the central air conditioning unit on the roof of my office died. It can get pretty unbearable in there when it's down. Fortunately, my office staff went on vacation shortly after and I was able to make some changes and the office is cool today. Right now, it's a band-aid, but soon it will be a full solution. I just had to roll with it and find a quick and simple solution. 

Then the biggest challenge hit, my mother was rushed to the hospital with really high blood pressure that was not coming down. She soon became unresponsive and the doctors, who gave little to no hope, asked me if I'd like to sign a DNR. Wow! What a place to be in. She had not been well for a number of years, and since my step-father had passed in 2015, she had become lonely and miserable. Her dementia had begun to increase daily rather than occasionally, and I could see a marked difference in her over the past few months. 

After deliberating with other family members, I agreed to the DNR request and within days, she died. That was painful, but down deep inside, I knew she would be in a far better place. Last Thursday, I spoke at her life celebration. It was a challenge, but I would never want to continue in this life in her condition, and I can only believe she did not either. With her quality of life diminished, she longed to be with her parents and her husband, and now she is. 

Sometimes, you've just got to roll with the situations that life presents to you. Some are easy, some are hard, and some are nearly impossible. Some decisions are easy to make and some are difficult and painful. But, there will always be another sunny day. There will always be another sunrise and sunset. The oceans will continue rise and fall and the waves will continue to crash against the shore. The wind will blow and the seasons will change.

In the case of my mother, I will miss her, and I've gone through a ton of photos remembering the life she lived. It has been comforting, and many people reached out to share their condolences, and I appreciate that. I've even had a few local businesses send me notes to let me know they are thinking of us. That was so kind. Life goes on. Even with the heartache that comes with many of life's blows, you can't surrender to them. You can't lay down and you sure can't give up. You've just got to roll with it and see where it takes you, and hopefully you will see good on the other side of whatever it is. 

 

 

 

Comments (38)

Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Mike, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

Jul 22, 2019 09:50 AM
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Mike, what a story, and my condolences for your dear Mother!!

Oh my gosh.  And you write with such a calm tone.  I would have a difficult time dealing with all this but you are exceptionally patient and truly commendable.  I think we can all get hit with double and triple whammies and it absolutely takes the life out of you if you don't remain calm and keep going on.  Sometimes there is self-preservation in all this, sometimes you can rely on faith.  It is a test of character, and you can look at Job to see the worst.

Thanks for sharing this.

Jul 22, 2019 11:08 AM
Marney Kirk
Cummings & Co. Realtors - Towson, MD
Towson, Maryland Real Estate

Mike, I am so sorry for your loss of your mom. My thoughts are with you.

Jul 22, 2019 11:41 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Mike,
First let me say I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Mother.  It's never easy.

For me, the last sentence of your post summarizes your whole point! 
You've just got to roll with it and see where it takes you, and hopefully you will see good on the other side of whatever it is.

I firmly believe in the scripture from Romans 8:28.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Jul 22, 2019 12:03 PM
Diana Dahlberg

Amen Carol Williams ... an encouraging Word! Thank you!

Jul 22, 2019 09:35 PM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Mike, I was going to write that your last sentence summarizes this post but, Carol Williams beat me to it.  So sorry for your loss. 

Jul 22, 2019 12:37 PM
Lynn B. Friedman CRS Atlanta, GA 404-617-6375
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty - Love our Great City - Love our Clients! Buckhead - Midtown - Westside - Atlanta, GA
Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers

Mike Cooper, GRI
Sometimes the "Just roll with the punches!" situations just come too fast one after another. Your presence and care during your Mom's last days demonstrate how deeply you respected and loved her - making a DNR decision never is easy... 

I'm so glad that your best friend Buffy is there to add balance to your days.
All the best - Lynn

Jul 22, 2019 01:56 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV

She and I make a great team, Lynn. We do hold each other up during the challenging times, and we celebrate during the great times. 

Jul 22, 2019 01:58 PM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

When things happen one right after the other, the pressure is unbearable. I'm terribly sorry for what you went through but you seem to be holding up the best you can under these heartbreaking circumstances. It may never be possible to be prepared for these tumultuous times but I know that your background is an asset nevertheless.

Jul 22, 2019 05:21 PM
Eva B. Liland Century 21 Doug Anderson
Century 21 Doug Anderson - Lancaster, CA
Glad to be of Service 661-714-1643

So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mother too a couple of years ago and it's never easy. Kudos to you for being able to roll with the punches despite all.

Jul 22, 2019 07:54 PM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I'm sorry for your loss, but because I do believe in "the other side," I'm glad for your Mother, because she is out of the pain and confusion. You haven't lost her, only her physical presence. She is still with you.

Jul 22, 2019 09:11 PM
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

I am sincerely sorry to hear about your loss. Words cannot take the pain from you but we can encourage one another.  You are in my thoughts and prayers Mike. Just know she is in the better place and you will see her again in the bye-and-bye. 

Jul 22, 2019 09:40 PM
Jamie King
Hoty Enterprises, Inc. - Huron, OH
Sandusky, OH

Being flexible, adapting as best you can to the obstacles before you is the best approach to life that keeps you sane. Those that allow such events to shut them down are cripples to their emotions. We all have strength within us. You just need to learn how to reach down, grab it and pull it up along with your boot straps! My condolences on the loss of your mother. My Dad passed on June 30 from a brain bleed. Like your mom, he had dementia and a decline in health over the years. His personality had been chipped away by the dementia and the unhappiness of not being independent. It was his time and I am so thankful he is at peace. Thank you for this great post, Mike!

Jul 23, 2019 04:02 AM
Terry McCarley
Coastal Real Estate - Cape Coral FL - Cape Coral, FL
REALTOR, SRES, CDPE - Cape Coral, FL

Very inspiring post!  So sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom!  My parents are getting up there in age too and health is declining.  Praying I can keep them around for a few more years

Jul 23, 2019 07:29 AM
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

My condolences, Mike. I lost my mom in February. Even though I know, like you, that she is in a better place, I just can't believe she isn't here any more. It is like she vanished in thin air. Where did she go, I keep thinking? Hang in there. They say the first year is the hardest.

Jul 23, 2019 08:47 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Mike Cooper, GRI - Condolences on the loss of your mother. Losing our parents is something that stays with us. 

Fortunately, you are able to find the power within you to move forward through adversity. 

Jul 23, 2019 09:29 AM
DAWN PARKYN
Florida Luxury Realty Inc - Hudson, FL
Helping Buyers and Sellers since 1994

Hi Mike...I am so sorry for your loss.  That was a great post....thank you.....

Jul 23, 2019 11:55 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Hi Mike: I don't know why but it seems that so many people are going through so much right now. I was told many years ago that "God will only give out to you that which you can handle". That thought came to mind just now, as I read your post. I was impressed by your attitude here as you wrote it too--but then you always struck me as a man of great purpose and strength. These are the times of great sorrow and challenges to almost everyone I know; I trust that you, of all the people I know will handle it and be an even better person for all of it! "This too shall pass" is one thought that I find to give me great comfort when things go so horribly wrong. Congratulations on your well deserved feature, Mike

Jul 23, 2019 12:35 PM
Sham Reddy CRS
Howard Hanna RE Services, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH
CRS

Great advuce!!!

Sometimes, you've just got to roll with the situations that life presents to you. Some are easy, some are hard, and some are nearly impossible. Some decisions are easy to make and some are difficult and painful. But, there will always be another sunny day. There will always be another sunrise and sunset. The oceans will continue rise and fall and the waves will continue to crash against the shore. The wind will blow and the seasons will change.

Jul 24, 2019 03:54 AM
Bruce Hicks
Best Homes Hawaii - Honolulu, HI
Your Best Hawaii Realtor!

Seems like in Real Estate sales OR management, Mike Cooper, GRI the phrase "you just gotta roll with it" goes withouot saying!  There are personalities where you say "I wish I had more customers or clients like them!"  Then there are others, you wish you never met!.

Jul 24, 2019 11:30 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Mike Cooper, GRI  I am so sorry I know it is tough to loose a Mother - She wll be with you for a long time and the waves will roll like the ocean. It does get easier.I wish I could give you a big hug . My thoughts are with you my friend , Not a good summer for me either 

Jul 24, 2019 06:45 PM
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

Mike, I am truly sorry that you have had these painful events in your life.

But, I am impressed at your choices.

Life is full of the unexpected on often unwanted events.

When these times come, we have a choice to make. We can let the events defeat us and stop our progress, or we can push on to become better.

You chose the positive path and are to be commended.

Best wishes.

Jul 26, 2019 05:30 AM