We can only process so much data whether it is deliberate (seeking) or submitted (awareness) at one time keeping in mind how much can be retained? What is necessary? Do we allow ourselves to drift or be distracted or do we maintain a reachable and inviting alertness until an interest or prompting appears? Too little or not enough can be controlled subject to two things..
HOW MUCH WE CAN PROCESS
The desire to do anything is not talked about enough. Desire is necessary if one is to truly rise to an occasion under attainable & willing circumstances. You can force yourself or others to do most anything but it is not the same as wanting to do it fueled by compassion, interest & desire to do so. The pay-off differs
HOW MUCH CAN THE OTHER PROCESS
Have you ever talked to or with another person & notice the point where you lost their interest & attention? If you are not too vain you can see it when it happens. This can happen with children, pets, humans & in areas of correction, lectures & training. Even personal intimacy has limits of connection at one time
HOW TO HOLD INTEREST
For the self, staying focused, finishing what was started and moving with a purpose all reward-back to the user when engaged. We simply take a break or break-off when we have had enough whenever that is. With other people, it becomes more complex but easy to do if we become aware of the interaction driving us
COMMUNICATING WITH OTHERS IN DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENTS
Here are a series of examples of how a speaker or initiator of comment or statement may proceed more effectively and fine tune when they do before during or after-wards too. Before requires a pause, during requires you are reading the situation and after may be required to clean something up
1. Speaking with a child especially in a given circumstances should be approached with fore-thought. First to reach their level physically & otherwise followed by a clear in the moment relevance. A why did you do this or how or even a what happened here asked gently but firmly gives good results if you let it. If you take the time to learn how to interact with children YOU will learn so much while you guide & nourish them.
2. When in high school we are forced to attend & pay attention with underlying threats from parents, teachers & the principal if you don't. However in college which is voluntary, a different type of behavior takes place. I say this because being forced to learn & listen doesn't work while wanting to is more effective
3. Your pet requires knowing what works & what doesn't & if you just throw it out there your results will reflect that. I have seen pets do remarkable things when guided by a loving nudging responsible source. Mustn't over or under do training. In this realm, one word noises like sit, stay, good, here etc work !
4. When at work sharing with others is necessary & normal however manipulation, bullying, dominating & over-kill are looked down upon. Also how it is done as well as where/why is extremely important because if mishandled it creates new problems like poor morale, failed teamwork & even promotes theft too
5. Husband-wife arenas remain mishandled & ongoing demanding an excellence powered by effort only achieved providing both work at it, want it and won't give-up. Easier said than done, this type of communication arena has to be quality, patient and motive free interaction. Living by example helps
HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT TAKE-AWAY
1. Repetition is a controversial tool when engaged. On one hand, repeating something until it clicks can be useful and productive while at the same time be intimidating, boring, dumb you down and interest killer!
2. Screaming or louder than necessary speaking derails everything after the first YELL or BARK takes place. Everyone will give attention when hollered at but immediately following that is a judgment and condemnation for doing so unless it is to save a life or give a needed warning
3. Not listening while someone is speaking is a sure-fire way to make things go south, fail, cause a return to the lesson, resentment and just a waste of time making the not listening person dishonest in integrity. The rules of communicating beg for a response the majority of the time. What type & when is relevant
THE RULE OF THUMB
Politeness with manners for icing prompted by a reason is all designed to be received randomly. In some cases asking for permission to feedback or input is warranted while in others it is assumed to be the norm as instruction, training and high bar reaching/teaching. At no time do we take for granted the interaction less we all take steps backward until we realize that is not the way. Our fellow mankind deserves no less