Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

Think during your time in your corporate careers. Did you ever come to a time as you moved up the corporate ladder when the words you used or comments you had made before now have a totally different (sometimes devastating) effect on a receiver of your message? This is just one example of something that I am sure you already know. Communication is more than words and the great majority of the message is nonverbal!

If you wish to improve your leadership skills, you will need to take responsibility for your communication. Start by considering what affect your words because of the role or position you hold. By setting the example you can dramatically affect the communication process.

There are three things that you must evaluate in order to improve your communications skills. They are:

  1.  What you say
  2.  How you say it both verbally and non-verbally
  3.  What role you are playing or what position you hold

What you say accounts for less than 10% of the communication process. You should be aware that the words you use can mean different things to different people. For example, “As soon as possible” could mean right now, or as soon as you have time. The words will be interpreted based on the frame of reference of the person listening.

How you say it. Your tone of voice matters. Were you in a hurry or were you angry? How often do you think about how you say it before you speak? It is probably rarely. Consider what happens when you react instinctively. You may realize halfway through that you were wrong but you don’t want to admit it. If you speak too quickly or respond in an angry or bitter way you need to stop, apologize and start over. Listen to what is being said. Are you hearing the other person? It would be helpful to get into the habit of repeating what you just heard to assure that you understood what was said.

“What you say shouts so loud that I can’t hear you tell me what you are saying” is a quote that points out the effect of non-verbal communication. What we say non-verbally through our body language has a greater impact than the words we use. You don’t need to be a genius to read body language. Think of what the body position of others means to you and you will understand what effect you have on others. Things such as crossed arms, crossed legs, or tilted head have huge meaning. Some people make us feel comfortable, some make us feel important, and some make us feel uneasy.

Who you are and your position has an overriding effect on your communication. If you are seen as having authority your words will be taken seriously. Not only that but anything unintentional will be magnified. Be careful of halfhearted jokes or sarcasm. Some people feel good about who they are while others need to show off. People realize when a person is not being who they really are. This feeling leads to lack of trust. Without trust your message has no credibility.

Team Working on A Project

Jim Collins in his book “Good to Great,” highlights what he terms Level Five Leadership. He uses an analogy of the bus. He says that a great leader is able to get the right people on the bus. Are you able to get your team to come with you on your bus? That is the ultimate test.  For a similar post on our website see BEWARE OF THE MANY NUANCES OF COMMUNICATION.

Would you like to create impactful communication in your workplace?

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.



Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Roy Kelley 09/13/2019 01:00 AM
  2. Sally K. & David L. Hanson 09/11/2019 12:58 AM
ActiveRain Community
New York Westchester County
Coaching and Mentoring
nonverbal communication
communication skills for business in armonk ny

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Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Grant Schneider,

Another great post.  The higher up the ladder you go the more important your communication is.  

Sep 09, 2019 01:33 PM #12
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Grant- someone once told me that it not what you say but how you say it. And when we are in a position of authority, our words carry a different weight. 

Sep 09, 2019 06:07 PM #13
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Grant

Ever mindful of what I say and who I say it to.  You just never know.

Sep 10, 2019 01:44 AM #14
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

George - that is true and another aspect of this.

Sheri - yes, and the more you have to measure what you say.

Kathy - the way you say it certainly carries weight.

James - that's right.  You never know.

Sep 10, 2019 07:31 AM #15
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Grant, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Sep 10, 2019 11:19 AM #16
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Grant:

We all know how important communication is, and you've highlighted some essential things to keep in mind, no matter what role you are in, corporate or otherwise!


Sep 10, 2019 05:10 PM #17
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

Exccellent advice...I can hear the recordings of too many people that talk about returning my their convenience...whoops !

Sep 11, 2019 12:56 AM #18
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, the tone we send really can change what we are trying to say, especially with texts.

Sep 11, 2019 05:55 AM #19
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Hi Grant!  Being ever mindful of how you come across and your tone, is something everyone should try - it's literally eye-opening for many! 

Carol Williams, this is a great one for your weekly feature...

Sep 11, 2019 08:46 PM #20
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Grant not only do words matter but how it is delivered, fantastic message, now I wonder how many will actually read and heed your advice, Endre

Sep 11, 2019 10:24 PM #21
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Words Matter ... How we say it Matters ... Who we say it to Matters ... and in what capacity we hold Matters!

Sep 12, 2019 10:49 AM #22
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Roy - thank your for your comments.

Jeff -  yes, and customers see the authority as demonstrated by knowledge.

Sally and David - oh yes, that is an oops.

Joan - a snarky tone can damage so much.

Debe - yes, this is what you call emotional intelligence.

Endre - we all have to take a step back to heed.  Sometimes we forget.

Diana - yes, all of the above.

Sep 13, 2019 03:22 AM #23
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Hi Grant, important for all of us to keep this in mind. Good communication is the key to any successful relationship or goal. 

Sep 13, 2019 10:29 AM #24
John Henry
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Hello Grant, this is really an excellent primer on body language, tone, dress, personal manners, etc.  I am convinced that delivering a message in person, any message, can be more effective than writing, emailing, texting, calling on a phone even.  IF you are very good at it.

We are falling apart in social skills and the biggest deals in history were made most likely through face to face interaction.

If you are wanting to make a business connection, getting to meet that person face to face has more impact than 100 emails, flyers, and phone calls.  The telephone is the second most important method.  You are listening more than seeing and every word and inflection is noticed.

The written word cannot be delivered with any emphasis that correctly depicts the emotion that is behind it.  Now that we are ridiculously reliant on texting and email communications, the most important part of imparting any message -- the emotive element -- is lost and SO: forming your words quickly and errantly in the digital world can cause more damage or convey more unintended thinking than ever before and must be VERY carefully formed with the best writing skill possible.

Sep 15, 2019 04:43 AM #25
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening Grant Schneider ,

So glad this was featured in Carol Williams Second Chance Saturday Series. Can't believe this post isn't featured with a gold star. Words matter but John Henry made one of the best comments and so i so agree with him!

Sep 15, 2019 03:54 PM #26
Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

Great post Grant! I like to communicate in person! I hate communication by email, text, and phone! It is a lot easier to blow someone off when you are not looking at them. 

Sep 16, 2019 01:25 PM #27
Lynn B. Friedman
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ... - Atlanta, GA
Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers

Grant Schneider 
Like that -- "get the right people on the bus" 
All the best - Lynn

Sep 16, 2019 04:48 PM #28
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667 (MT), 914-419-0270 (NY), Broker in NY with Grand Lux Realty and in MT with (coming soon!) - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Communication is one of the most important parts of getting anything done (or not). Thinking of our role, who we are talking to, and how we are speaking, takes time and practice. I like when people pause before they speak. I know they are thinking. I need some work on that skill.

Sep 17, 2019 06:33 AM #29
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

It can be a challenge to verbalize thoughts diplomatically...I try to use certain phrases on a consistant basis.  Also, watch the body language and really listen to the other side with your eyes!

Sep 18, 2019 12:49 PM #30
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Debb and Bernie - good communication means keeping all the filters in mind.

John - you are very correct about this.  Sometimes you do see emotion in emails.

Dorie - oh yes, John said it very well.

Tom - yes, I do too.  Although, there are generational preferences.

Lynn - yes, Jim Collins has it right.

Kat - yes, I does take time and practice.

Mary - it is more than 70% body language.

Sep 19, 2019 03:20 AM #31
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