Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.” That line from the movie Cool Hand Luke highlights a fundamental problem. There are many times in our business and personal lives where we don’t achieve a desired result from directing, explaining, or urging action. I would like to concentrate here on the “urging action.”

Dwight Eisenhower said, “Leadership is getting people to do what YOU want them to do because THEY want to do it.”

Let’s now use that quote and relate it to coaching. Coaching is not telling people what they need to do. On the contrary. It is helping them find the direction within themselves to solve a problem. Coaching is a process between a coach and a person being coached that helps the person being coached produce big results in their lives, careers, or business by deepening learning and improve performance and quality of life.

The transformational part helps people see into their own processes, feelings, and thinking. Transformation honors things that are but reaches deep down to find what is emerging and what could be.

Real change is transformational. To effect real change with your employees and your leaders you must be able to help them reach down within themselves and create the transformation. Here is an example.

Focus on them, not what you want changed.

Example of what not to do (this is not coaching) – You: You know the company policy about getting all the information on a new client engagement form. Time and time again your department is leaving gaps. We need to have you address this immediately with your staff. It is your responsibility to hold them accountable. You should be following the training procedures outlined in the manual. I really need to have you start doing this right away. Response: I have done it before, but I will go over it again. (The manager’s conversation with her staff will probably mirror than with she heard from her supervisor. What is the likelihood of a transformational change?)

Now using transformational coaching – You: May I discuss the new client engagement form with you? I noticed that there are several questions that seem to be left blank. Can you give me some insight into that? Response: Yes, I know this is a concern, but it seems that staff thinks the information has already been obtained on another form and that, in their rush, they forget to fill it in. You: I see, so their rush and the duplication results in some forgetfulness. What would your job be like if all the forms came through all the time with all the information? Response: Our productivity would soar, and I would have less complaints. You: Would you be open to ideas on how we can make that happen? Response: Yes, I would like that very much.


The difference is the two exchanges is that the second one focused on the other person so that they could reach down and understand their process and how it could improve.  For a similar post on our web site see COACHING THAT TRANSFORMS.

Learn how you can create transformational change through coaching.

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.



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Coaching and Mentoring
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Nina Hollander
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Hi Grant... I've tried coaching in the past (several times) and unfortunately have little faith in the process as always I was told what I should be doing...and often what I was told to be doing was very formulaic.

Oct 08, 2019 12:34 AM #16
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Grant.

The first example of what you posted today was the way I did it back in the day.  Now, that I've joined the "real world", that approach doesn't work

Oct 08, 2019 12:55 AM #17
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Ron and Alexandra - that is because they own it and feel responsible.

George - It does take some practice, I admit.

Joan - and by definition it can't be the same.

Kathy - a nudge would be, from what I hear it sounds like you are making a committment.

Nina - unfortunately, that process was misnamed.  It is not developmental coaching.

James - the real world always makes us adjust.

Oct 08, 2019 05:33 AM #18
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Grant, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Oct 08, 2019 06:37 AM #19
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

I had a boss years ago that said, "you must paint them a picture".  In a far more eloquent form, you did just that here Grant Schneider ...


Oct 08, 2019 09:11 AM #20
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Roy - thank you.

Gene - thank you very much for that.

Oct 10, 2019 06:29 AM #21
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224


Oct 13, 2019 04:25 AM #22
Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
Relocation to NW AZ with elbow room & more freedom

Also being an executive coach, your remarks are right on target.  For me, coaching is like you said a self discovery process with the goal of self leadership that being securing the desired results using ethical behaviors.

Oct 13, 2019 06:37 AM #23
Monica Brisson, Associate Broker
Dalton Wade Inc. - Fort Lauderdale, FL
Let Me Get You Moving! 561.317.8645

Great nuggets here Grant. Communication is the most important key in our business as it is in the relationship where the gold lies.

Oct 13, 2019 06:55 AM #24
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Language is so critical to the process of any successful outcome. You have illustrated that so well, Grant. What a difference between those two scenario examples. 

Oct 13, 2019 07:18 AM #25
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

That is the most sophisticated example of leadership I have ever read. Thank you Grant!

Oct 13, 2019 07:43 AM #26
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Kathy - thanks so much.  It is always an hone to be on your weekly list.

Leanne - that is what is it self coaching.

Monica - bad communication or miscommunication amounts for most of the problems.

Debb and Bernie - it makes a difference when it is perceived to be their idea.

John - thank you so much.  I am very flattered by that comment coming from you.

Oct 13, 2019 11:44 AM #29
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


Coaching done incorrectly or with an emphasis on what the other person is doing wrong, will certainly not be successful. Indeed one should not call that coaching but perhaps criticizing. Takes me back to my HR days!!


Oct 13, 2019 03:12 PM #30
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Grant Schneider ,

So glad that Kathy Streib featured you post in her "Ah-Ha" moments. What an excellent post on the right way to coach. I love the quote from Dwight appropriate for your message.

Oct 14, 2019 06:53 AM #31
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Positive communication and constructive feedback can do wonders!

Oct 14, 2019 07:57 PM #34
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Learned a little bit from each of the great mentors and experts Then I’ve had the privilege of either reading about or knowing personally, or a bit of each . :)

Oct 16, 2019 08:27 PM #39
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

I have been interviewing agents for my company for a special training program that we are implementing, Grant. One of the things that I know makes a good business owner is coachability. Some people just don't fit the mold and some people think they know more than those who are truly in-the-know as well.

I am keen on coachability! LOL The team jokes that I have a 'gut instinct' when it comes to picking coachable students. Now, the effective coaching will work wonders when you've got someone eager to be a participant in the business too! 

Oct 16, 2019 08:37 PM #40
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Jeff - yes, you know.  Absolutely correct.

Dorie - focusing on the others person's want creates a win win.

Jan- positive feedback leads to positive results. 
Laura - the great mentors have so much to offer. 

Oct 18, 2019 02:19 AM #41
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Debe - coachability is necessary. I am not able to work with someone who knows it all. 

Oct 18, 2019 02:22 AM #42
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

I had an agent on my team once who was absolutely wonderful with clients and incredibly attentive to details. She was a fast learner and went above and beyond. She would share conversations she had with other agents and her clients - she toed the line at times when it came to some of our laws. It drove me nuts but, what drove me crazier was that when I would advise her on any topic whatsoever, she would say, "Oh, I know that - of course that's what I said." 

That is one of the few that I have had to let go - that know-it-all mentality and I don't get along either, Grant!

Oct 18, 2019 02:52 AM #43
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