A Prospecting Letter That Fails - big time!

Reblogger Barbara Todaro
Services for Real Estate Pros with RE/MAX Executive Realty 104763
https://activerain.com/droplet/5l26

Save the 10 letter words for a target other than potential buyers and sellers..... keep it simple and not intimidating...

Original content by Marte Cliff

If you read many of my posts and/or comments, you know I believe in prospecting – by both email and direct mail.

You may also know that to receive any kind of prospecting letter in our community is a rare failed stampoccurrence. That said, I always read the ones that do arrive.

This week I got a doozie.

I will give this agent credit for trying, by oh my – the letter she sent!

For starters, it broke the first rule in writing prospecting letters. It was all about her. After that, it went downhill.

She began by making some silly, unbelievable claims – while using language designed to impress. Unfortunately, she didn’t look up the meanings of the words she was using. In addition, she forgot – or didn’t know – that marketing letters should be written with a 6th grader reader in mind.

The result: Some people won’t know what the words mean while others will know and think her foolish.

She forgot to give her readers a breather – I read this aloud to my son and should have thought to take a deep breath before I started. I nearly ran out of breath before getting to the end of the 39 and 41 word sentences.

It looks like perhaps she did some editing, but didn’t finish, and definitely didn’t proofread. That resulted in sentences that were garbled. For instance, part of one long sentence says “…figure out your property’s market value is worth.

And then… she came up with my pet peeve: ”…please reach out to myself or my team…”

This letter, with more than a dozen major errors or ridiculous statements, bugged me so much that I examined it in detail on my Copy by Marte blog. If you’re interested, you’ll find it at: https://copybymarte.com/marketing-fail-anatomy-of-a-terrible-prospecting-letter/

 

Failed stamp courtesy of Stuart Miles @freedigitalphotos.net

marte@copybymarte.com
www.copybymarte.com

Priest River, Idaho
208-448-1479

 

Call on Copy by Marte for:

Custom Web Copy....Agent Bios....E-mail Campaigns
Newsletters....Postcards....Custom Prospecting Letters
Articles....Blog Posts....Print Ads

PLUS

Pre-written real estate letters that save you time and money -
and keep you in touch with your prospects.

 

close

This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Topic:
Real Estate Sales and Marketing

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
3,335,760
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Barbara. You can't go wrong with advice by Marte! Her post was very interesting, as usual. Thanks, I missed it! Enjoy your day!

Oct 12, 2019 05:06 AM #1
Rainmaker
1,211,618
Donald Urschalitz
Lubeck Realty Group - Jupiter, FL
P.A. Realtor ABR RSPS North Palm Beach County

Very powerful information so much enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

Oct 12, 2019 05:19 AM #2
Rainmaker
1,028,973
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Some times the agent forget to offer her contact information. Balh blah bhal....

Have a great blast weekend.

Sam

 

Oct 12, 2019 05:27 AM #3
Rainmaker
784,132
Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

Marte Cliff is a resource all should listen to Barbara Todaro This was a good reblog.

Oct 12, 2019 06:13 AM #4
Rainmaker
2,617,201
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

It is sad, but sometimes I feel that even agents that don't know what they are doing and seemingly do everything wrong continue to get plenty of business, it baffles me that people will trust someone that doesn't know what they are doing.

Oct 12, 2019 06:39 AM #5
Rainmaker
5,078,128
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

thanks, everyone, for your nice comments..... the bottom line is to keep it simple so everyone understands what you're saying....

Oct 12, 2019 07:03 AM #6
Rainmaker
163,749
Eva B. Liland Century 21 Doug Anderson
Century 21 Doug Anderson - Lancaster, CA
Glad to be of Service 661-714-1643

Plethora? What in the world was she thinking about? Myself? Oh my! But as Brian England mentioned, it seems to work for some that doesn't know what they are doing.

Oct 12, 2019 07:11 AM #7
Rainmaker
4,530,851
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Barbara,

What a wonderful post to re-blog.  As Marte Cliff stated, it is a doozie.  Wishing you a wonderful weekend. A

Oct 12, 2019 07:39 AM #8
Rainmaker
5,078,128
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

there are times when those who are on a wing and a prayer soar with the eagles!!! Eva B. Liland Century 21 Doug Anderson doesn't happen often, but I've seen it happen.... 

Oct 12, 2019 07:42 AM #9
Rainmaker
1,550,887
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Thanks so much for the reblog, Barbara.

Oct 12, 2019 07:42 AM #10
Rainmaker
5,078,128
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Thanks, Alexandra.... hope you're weekend is good, also...

Oct 12, 2019 07:52 AM #11
Rainmaker
5,460,030
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Barbara, for sharing this reblog selection.

Oct 12, 2019 07:57 AM #12
Rainmaker
244,058
Alberto Pacheco
Home Smart Evergreen Realty - Northridge, CA
Experience and Trust

thank you for sharing Barbara.

 

Alberto Pacheco

www.sfvalleyhotproperties.com

www.sfvalleyhotproperties.com

Oct 12, 2019 10:12 AM #13
Rainmaker
5,078,128
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Thanks, Roy & Alberto....

Oct 12, 2019 11:01 AM #14
Ambassador
3,842,284
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Barbara simple and to the point is always the best approach.  Just follow the KISS principle.

Oct 12, 2019 01:05 PM #15
Rainmaker
795,786
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

It is always interesting to read prospecting letters and cards from others.

Oct 12, 2019 03:05 PM #16
Rainmaker
2,509,572
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

I liked this post and will go over to leave a comment on Marte's post.

Oct 12, 2019 08:43 PM #17
Rainmaker
2,971,018
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Barbara.

I left a comment with Marte.  Thanks for the reblog, as I would have missed it

Oct 13, 2019 01:39 AM #18
Rainmaker
5,078,128
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Thanks, everyone, for your nice comments.... Marte Cliff always does a fantastic job.....

Oct 13, 2019 03:51 AM #19
Ambassador
3,395,786
Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

A 39-word sentence - OH MY! I read some blog posts that agents write, using words incorrectly and that drives me nuts. I can't imagine this agent receives many calls from her prospecting letter. 

Great re-blog, Barbara!

Oct 13, 2019 10:28 AM #20
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
5,078,128

Barbara Todaro

Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team
Ask Barbara Todaro a question...
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention