How do you read your clients? A lesson learned!

By
Real Estate Agent with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 PA License - AB067198

I just finished listening to Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell below is a video of him talking about the book

 

Part of the book is about how judges, police all of us judge others. Amazingly, we do it very badly. In fact, we judge others better if we don't see them. We would all think that seeing someone allows you to judge them better. But, as he describes in the book we default to truth.

We presume someone is telling us the truth. And as I read that, and today read Lou Gimbutis's post The Funniest thing a Tenant ever did to me it reminded me of a time several years ago when I defaulted to truth and learnt an important lesson.

I was approached by a man who needed to find a rental. He was staying in a house the family owned. His wife was about to have a baby and with the other two kids the house they were in with his parents was too small. But, he stated his credit score was not good. And he was right, the credit report he provided was not good. Could I help?

Well, I defaulted to truth, I believed what he told me. I did all I could to help this man and his family even though rentals pay me very little. I felt it did not matter I was doing something kind and I would get paid back at some time.

Well, after several attempts, I found a landlord willing to take the family. We write up the lease, he signs and they move in.

The wife has the baby, and I am invited to the restaurant the family owns for a celebration of the new life. The restaurant is packed. Whilst I am there he pulls me aside and tells me he has lied to me, but can I help his bother who now also needs somewhere to rent. I am confused.

He goes on to tell me that he used his brothers identitiy, social security number, credit report to qualify for the lease. His brother's credit was not good, and he explained his was even worse. My mouth is hanging open and I am in shock. I have put my license at risk through fraud because of this man and he has the audacity to still be asking for help.

As I leave, I immediately contact the leasing agent and explain the situation. She stays cool and suggests we simply put the brother on the lease as well. We do. They sign. She is satisfied. I tell my manager the story and say that going forward, like at settlement I am asking for drivers' licenses for all tenants.

I defaulted to truth believing the story he told me, I never doubted, who tells you their credit stinks and it does, and you think they are not who they say they are.

Be careful, consider the information carefully without getting swayed by the person and their behaviour. Have you defaulted to truth and made a wrong decision?

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Brian England 10/15/2019 10:27 AM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Tags:
a lesson learned

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Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

That is very true Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor® I think it was how the listing agent pitched it to him. 

Oct 14, 2019 12:49 PM #27
Rainmaker
3,837,399
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening  Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 ,

I don't do leases but I hear so many stories like this but this one left me with my mouth hanging open.  We do have a license to protect and can't afford a schmuck like this one!

Oct 14, 2019 05:13 PM #28
Rainmaker
66,530
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 570-507-7510

Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 Psychologists advise to consider maybe 50% of what you are told and believe far less.  Lying and deception today is the default for many people.  This is shocking for good people who can't fathom this depth of dishonesty.  As Mimi said, it can take time and experience for trusting people to learn this.  Those with dishonorable intent are further able to exacerbate lying thru use of mobile technology to abuse others sight unseen and appear to get away with it.

Oct 14, 2019 05:56 PM #29
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR I couldn't believe it when he told me.I was really angry, but then realized I need to let my anger go and work out what to do.

Kris Collis, Associate Broker I am always amazed at how hard people work to deceive. I think if they put this much effort into their work they would be successful.

Oct 14, 2019 07:07 PM #30
Ambassador
2,082,352
Michelle Cherie CarrCrowe Just Call...408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

Sometimes I have fallen for the sad story of a person assuming it was truth.

Oct 14, 2019 09:26 PM #31
Rainmaker
2,780,079
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I once heard someone suggest sarcasm italics should be a thing. Just another example of a miscommunication and I missed communication opportunity.

Oct 14, 2019 10:51 PM #32
Rainmaker
2,780,079
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I totally know what you mean, Michelle! It can be like pulling teeth or worse! But eventually, we get the gist of it. Michelle Carr Crowe,Altas Just Call...408-252-8900!

Oct 14, 2019 10:54 PM #33
Rainmaker
634,330
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
Carolina Life RealEstate & Relocation 919-602-8489

Wow! Who would have thought? I'm sure we've all been bamboozled by someone at sometime whom we believed to be true. I know I have. I like to believe the good in people.

Oct 15, 2019 04:11 AM #34
Rainer
530,808
Sham Reddy CRS
H E R Realty, Dayton, OH - Dayton, OH
CRS

Belive what you hearing out of respect for the person that's speaking but don't rely on it until you check the facts for yourself

Oct 15, 2019 04:44 AM #35
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Michelle Carr Crowe,Altas Just Call...408-252-8900! it is a natural thing for us to default to truth and believe what people tell us. If we didn't we would be very untrusting and have a hard time socializing.

Laura Cerrano I have never been very good with sarcasm, I take things literally when people say them.

Carla Freund as Gladwell explained in the book that is our default.

Sham Reddy CRS sometimes we trust what someone says when they have enough facts to sound believable. Having to check everything becomes difficult to do with everything people tell us. Although these days you need to check everything you read on the internet. Where would we be without Snopes.

Oct 15, 2019 06:09 AM #36
Ambassador
2,232,411
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Prado Real Estate South - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Unless a blood test showed he was someone else, you would not know that he duped you Nick. Lying comes easy to those who lack a conscience or the ability to feel shame and trust but verify does not always gain accurate results either!

Oct 15, 2019 07:36 AM #37
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

I think as brothers even a blood test would not have been conclusive, if he had not mentioned it Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! I would have never known.

Oct 15, 2019 08:37 AM #38
Rainmaker
2,473,375
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Discernment is no myth nor is ones sense or gut-speak. Truth is self-evident not a thinking process and to this day remains subjective and very personal. 

Oct 15, 2019 10:19 AM #39
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Richie Alan Naggar everything this guy said seemed reasonable and correct, it was only when he told me the truth that it came out. Up till then I had had no sense of anything wrong.

Oct 15, 2019 11:40 AM #40
Rainer
272,463
Stephen Turner
Gemcraft Homes (TriCorner Realty) - York, PA
The BIG Guy of NEW HOME SALES

What a tuff one. I think as trustworthy people, we usually believe others till they give us a reason not to. Yet occasionally we get burned. I still prefer to believe we operate from trusting others until proven otherwise. 

Oct 15, 2019 11:46 AM #41
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Stephen Turner this is what the book talks about, we default to wanting to believe what others say to us.

Oct 15, 2019 12:27 PM #42
Rainmaker
3,280,899
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

Being your best self...and learning the real selves you are working with...a valuable asset to any business.

Oct 16, 2019 02:23 AM #43
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Being my best self I never would have thought this person was lying to me Sally K. & David L. Hanson, luckily we were able to fix it relatively easily.

Oct 16, 2019 06:18 AM #44
Rainmaker
809,569
Kevin Mackessy
Blue Olive Properties, LLC - Highlands Ranch, CO
Dedicated. Qualified. Local.

Hard to be continually charitable to other people when one bad apple ruins that worldview. 

Oct 17, 2019 12:05 PM #45
Rainmaker
794,376
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Kevin Mackessy it is always better to be open than closed however people act.

Oct 19, 2019 10:28 AM #46
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Rainmaker
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Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543

Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line
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