Ask An Ambassador: Reading The Room

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com SAL.2002007747

inspectI'll confess, as an engineer I'm not the most adept at picking up on subtle social signals...and sometimes even blatant social signals :)

It's part of the challenge for me when walking in to do a listing presentation or meeting with a buyer.  I'm an introvert (and then some), so I'm looking for the commonalities between me and the potential client.

Have we lived in the same area?  Maybe we've both served in the military?  They have dogs?  Cats?  Travel?  Somewhere there's SOMETHING we can use to establish common ground.

When I'm in a crowd of strangers, I make a few assumptions.

Some of them may be future clients.

Some of them may have serious clout.

Some of them may be jerks.

Some of them may be the greatest people on earth.

The thing is you don't know any of this when you start, and sooner you figure out who the power players are, the better off you're going to be.

This applies in person, or in the virtual world.

Joined a new Facebook group?  You may not know who's who in the zoo at first, but in time you learn who to rely on and who has brown eyes because they're at max capacity for brown stuff.

And the same applies in this community.  New to the Rain?  No different than the real world.  

There are people that bust their tails to help others. 

There are some that are just here to take. 

There are wizards behind green curtains who talk a good game, but beware the smoke and mirror show.

In general, pay attention, especially when you're new. 

Learn the expectations in this sandbox and you can gain much.

Join in, participate, understand the cultural differences. 

What plays well in New York may fall pretty flat in Ohio. 

Real estate is local, and immensely different while still accomplishing the same overall tasks.

Read the room and reap the rewards.

Until next Tuesday, just Ask An Ambassador if you need help!

Bill & Liz aka BLiz

Posted by

Serving Warren County Ohio & Adjacent Areas

 

The Liz Spear Team of RE/MAX Elite
Elizabeth Spear, ABR, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2002007747

William (Bill) Spear, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2004011109  Kentucky 77938
Ask for us by name if you visit the office!

EHO Two locations: Lebanon & Mason, OH
Bill Direct:  513-520-5305
Liz Direct: 513-265-3004     
Fax: 866-302-8418

MailTo:  Liz@LizSpear.com

Search Homes:  Https://WarrenCountyOhioRealEstate.com

Our Website:  www.LizTour.com

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Ambassador
2,880,976
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I've always found it easy to read people.... and mostly it's the same virtually too.  I've been burned a few times, but hey... it won't happen twice.

 

Oct 22, 2019 09:54 PM #4
Rainmaker
795,786
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

I am pretty openin life in general, ready to dive in especially when it doesn't matter, happy to ask questions and discover what makes people tick etc. I find people interesting and I am interested in what makes them tick. However, in business settings I am pretty introverted, prefferring to hang back at group gatherings and find it hard to approach strangers and ask the same questions I would ask if I did not feel pressure to connect. That has me curious as to why I am different in different settings. Maybe others also suffer the same feelings depending on the setting in which they find themselves. Especially on line, there may be a sense of freedom in not being known, to be more authentic, or to allow the baser side of yourself to be seen. Love this post, and the encouragement to step back and size everybody up before diving in, to watch, and work out who everybody is. Good advice for me as I move in to some new circles.

Oct 22, 2019 11:47 PM #5
Rainmaker
3,335,923
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Bill. Keep your eyes open, but more importantly your mind! Enjoy your day!

Oct 23, 2019 05:03 AM #7
Rainmaker
1,459,836
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Good morning. I do think it's important to figure out the playground rules before jumping in. And it doesn't take long to learn them.

Oct 23, 2019 06:28 AM #8
Rainmaker
2,474,484
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I learned to read a room when I was in the restaurant business...Amazing dynamic. During training by an ace in the business: We walk into a restaurant and I was asked what do you see, hear, and sense. I saw the obvious and that was not the answer. What was boggled my mind and over the months and fine tuned over the years, I can tell you what is going in detail as I approach a business let alone enter it...Human nature studies also boggle but educate too

Oct 23, 2019 07:04 AM #9
Rainmaker
3,390,970
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Bill(and Liz too) - I understand how difficult nuance and subtlety can be especially when first impressions can be askew.  

Oct 23, 2019 07:04 AM #10
Ambassador
817,603
Mimi Foster
Falcon Property Solutions - Colorado Springs, CO
Voted Colorado Springs Best Realtor

First off, knowing that you're an engineer explains so much. 

What a terrific post! Can I put this link on a Newbie's site? Brilliant way to look at the overall scene and summarize. Being the consummate extrovert (well, me and Candice A. Donofrio) I'm often impressed with how well you read the room and come from things at an entirely different angle than I would.

And part of the silver lining in all of this is I LOVE how the participants here understand what the others are saying without saying it at all.

Oct 23, 2019 09:53 AM #11
Ambassador
2,893,958
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, GRI, WLS
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
603-380-4886

Bill you are such an engineer!  Years ago when I accompanied Gary to dinners I knew it would be tough to get the group of engineers to open up and talk about anything other than the details of whatever project they were working on. But since I learned early on  how to meet anybody, anywhere (literally) from my folks, did my best to get to know these guys and find out a least a few personal things about them.

As for AR I think it's wise to 'read the room' especially for newbies that are trying to figure things out. This is a different type of forum where professionalism is key as well as authenticity. At least that's been my experience.

Oct 23, 2019 10:45 AM #12
Rainmaker
1,853,799
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I have a reading room in my house, so I do reading in the room.

Does that count??

Oct 23, 2019 12:19 PM #13
Rainmaker
343,414
Dana Basiliere
Rossi & Riina Real Estate - Williston, VT
Making deals "Happen"

Bill,  It is easier to read "the AR room" than any FakeBook rooms.  I don't mean to be cynical...  well maybe I do.  I prefer to read an actual room rather than a virtual one however since turn of the century we find ourselves less in real rooms to read.

Oct 23, 2019 05:47 PM #14
Ambassador
1,440,726
Richard Iarossi
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Crofton, MD
Crofton MD Real Estate, Annapolis MD Real Estate

Bill, building rapport during the listing presentation is even more important than what you actually present.

Oct 23, 2019 07:39 PM #15
Rainmaker
1,551,216
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Love your post and love the comments! Actually, I love the AR community.

I think we connect with each other here for a variety of reasons - finding some kind of commonality, or just appreciating their wisdom.

I think finding commonality with clients is important, and it's the reason why I encourage my copywriting clients to let me include something personal about them in their bios. It might be their hometown, their previous career, their hobbies, or the fact that they love dogs or cats. Whatever it is, it gives would-be clients a reason to connect even before they meet in person.

Oct 23, 2019 07:48 PM #16
Rainmaker
3,220,482
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Bill yes engeeneers can be hard to convert and since I went to an engeeneer school too I can relate:) yes I read the room and look for all the same points you mentioned provided I can leave my house:)Endre

Oct 23, 2019 10:00 PM #17
Rainmaker
415,647
Navona Hart
Real Living Cornerstone - Farmville, VA
Selling the Best Properties in Central Virginia

I find it hard to read people electronically, especially hard.  

Oct 24, 2019 03:38 AM #18
Rainmaker
726,750
Andrea Bedard
Thompson Company, REALTORS® - Silver Spring, MD
M.A.; REALTOR® Silver Spring, MD and beyond

When I was an AR newby, I certainly believed that everyone on here is painting an accurate image of him/herself through posts & comments. It's a professional community after all. But then there was this one guy (I don't remember his name) who turned out to fake-profile "his assistant". I tend to believe in the good, and that people have good intentions.. things like these throw me, an extroverted introvert & empath, way off.

I have a hard time grasping the concept of pretending to be somebody else and faking it [online]. It's become harder to read the room - virtually and offline - the more virtually social we've become. That's where the much talked about gut feeling can come in handy. I've learned to pay more attention to it again, it does help if we let it. 

Oct 24, 2019 06:19 AM #19
Rainmaker
380,916
M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

Somehow I've ended up with a lot of engineers as clients.    I really enjoy working with engineers because they tend to pay attention and ask great questions!

Oct 24, 2019 08:55 AM #20
Rainmaker
241,971
Monica Hill
RE/Max Associates - Wilmington, DE
the REALTOR to help you discover Delaware

Great points made! We were all new once, both to the Rain and to real estate, so it's great to remember to help and to leave a good trail for others to follow.

Oct 24, 2019 09:03 AM #21
Rainer
103,693
Brian DeYoung
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Ithaca, NY
Brian DeYoung

Nice reminders.

Oct 24, 2019 12:10 PM #22
Rainmaker
475,291
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

What a fun, interesting and also serious message!  I really enjoyed the read and thought "I hope I am playing well in the sandbox!"  Actually, I am an easy read (at least that is what I am told by those who know me).  By the way one of my first real jobs was as an Engineering Secretary (first mechanical, then structural and then electrical) .... hmmmm, does that tell you more about me?

Oct 24, 2019 08:26 PM #23
Rainmaker
449,078
Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

Outstanding post Bill. I am very outgoing and reading a room is easy for me! I think reading a room is easier for those of us that never met a stranger 

Oct 24, 2019 11:29 PM #24
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RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)
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