If you don't agree with me, unfriend me

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with 406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty RRE-BRO-LIC-75443

Several times in the past few weeks, I've seen people on social media who have posted the above statement in one form or another. Basically, they've said, "if you don't believe the same way I do about [insert issue or cause here] then unfriend me now. We simply cannot be friends."

 

The issue or cause could be related to any topic but lately these statements have mostly been about politics. And here's my answer about these strongly worded "requests."

 

My answer is "no."

 

I typically do not share my political or religious beliefs on social media. Not because I don't have my own belief system, but because most people don't want to have a real discussion about these topics. Instead, they want you to come around to their way of thinking. To get you to believe the way they do. Also, there are people who get nasty when they find you believe differently than they do. Name calling is not uncommon anymore. And if you share a belief about one thing, some people have a need to dump you in a bucket and label you one thing or another. And then they make a lot of assumptions about who you are. Who needs all that negativity and judgment in their life? 

 

So I don't write about whether I'm a democrat, republican, independent, libertarian or something else. I usually won't share my views on the president, current political scenario or most major issues over the Internet. So when you demand I "unfriend" you if I don't agree with you, you'll never know that I don't agree. Because I just don't get sucked into those discussions. Of course, that made me think the following. If I don't unfriend you, will you think I agree with you? Because I might not. A catch-22 of sorts. If I unfriend you, you'll know I thought differently than you. If I stay friends, you'll think I agree with you. Either way you're putting an edict on me that I don't choose to address. So...here's why I won't unfriend you.

 

It's because to me, you are not defined by your beliefs about that one issue. You're a friend of mine on social media for other reasons that have nothing to do with your thoughts about that hot button. We might be friends because I see how much love you have for your family and it makes me happy to see the beautiful photos you share. Or because of your ongoing work to help the military. Or the police. Or making sure animals are cared for. Or maybe it's because you are inspiring in some other way. Maybe it's because we share a past. Or the present. Whatever it is, it's much bigger than one issue where we might disagree.

 

So I'm going to keep you as a social media friend because I like you regardless of your differing beliefs about that issue. And I'm not going to stop.

Posted by

 

Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat

Licensed Broker, CBR®

Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp

P.O. Box 10458

Kalispell, MT 59904

 

email: kat@thehousekat.com

www.thehousekat.com

 

406-270-3667 (MT) and 914-419-0270 (NY)*

*Still licensed in NY

 

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Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR - I agree; there's no reason we can't be friends AND have differing opinions.

Nov 02, 2019 06:25 PM #39
Ambassador
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Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

It's sad that people get to this point where they feel that everyone around them must believe a certain thing, think a particular way or they can't be friends with them.   Life is more interesting when we have differing points of view in our lives.

Nov 02, 2019 06:34 PM #40
Rainmaker
1,460,459
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Chris Ann Cleland - I agree; we can sometimes agree to disagree. Have a wonderful day!

Nov 03, 2019 05:05 AM #41
Rainmaker
3,226,068
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Kat,  I agree with your blog so much. I am a friend first and we should respect each other.  Love your new picture!!!

 

Nov 03, 2019 07:03 AM #42
Ambassador
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

You echo my sentiments exactly. My sister recently wrote a post on Facebook that is nearly identical to your thoughts. It was a lovely gesture in response to all the political hatred being spewed.  We all breathe the same air...why can't we just put differences aside and continue to love and respect each other? 

Nov 03, 2019 07:04 AM #43
Rainmaker
1,460,459
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Will Hamm - Respect works wonders! And thank you!

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD - Yes to the respect. We can have different opinions, and share them - but it can be done in a productive and respectful manner. Have a great day!

Nov 03, 2019 08:17 AM #44
Rainmaker
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Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Fort Worth, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Kat - Congratulations on a well-deserved Feature story! It can be difficult to listen to people who have opposing views and want you to agree with everything they say. Being disciplined, as you are is a great attribute and makes you more approachable. I am proud to call you friend for many reasons, but most of all, because you stand up for what you believe without insult. 

Nov 04, 2019 08:37 AM #45
Rainmaker
1,460,459
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Thank you Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP ! I can definitely talk about my views - but not on social media. That works better with a nice glass of wine face-to-face! :-)

Nov 04, 2019 12:22 PM #46
Rainmaker
3,221,646
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Kat, loved this post,  like you I do not take a position as to what my beliefs are politically or otherwise.... never the less my character comes trough and you can figure out what I am like as a person ... on the other hand I do not threaten people to unfriend me or that I will unfriend them... if I do not like how they talk to me or comment on my post oh well I just let them go simple...and there have been many "unfriended" over the past three or four years... I guess my tolerance has become shorter...Endre

Nov 04, 2019 11:41 PM #47
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Good morning Endre Barath, Jr. and thank you for your comment. Tolerance levels do change with time, don't they? And you're right, it is possible to figure out character without knowing how we do or don't feel about every single issue. Have a great day!

Nov 05, 2019 05:40 AM #48
Rainmaker
449,598
Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

Well said Kat! Without dialogue nothing ever changes! I am always amazed at how people on different sides of an argument think each other are bad people

Nov 05, 2019 06:27 AM #49
Rainer
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Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

When people disagree on issues, there are IMO either uninformed or misinformed, yet, could eventually agree about their issues after accepting irrefutable facts. The challenge occurs when one party doesn't accept true facts and it's that dissension which leads to confrontation and alienation with others. Being cordial is intelligent, however, there are many people I know that aren't intelligent but I don't dislike them because of it. We should respect the right of others to disagree with our views and opinions and vice versa without ultimatums to any relationships. An intelligent post. 

Nov 06, 2019 12:12 AM #50
Rainmaker
177,980
Janelle Ancillotti
Seneca Home Staging - Syracuse, NY
HSR Certified Home Stager, Syracuse, NY

I agree with every word of your post Kat, and I really believe that most of the population would also agree. Although there are those who say "unfriend me", I think they represent a very small piece of the pie.

Nov 06, 2019 04:31 AM #51
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Tom Bailey - there are some people who think someone who thinks differently from them has a belief that is not worthy. Huh? We're all entitled to our own views.

Thank you Kimo Jarrett - Thank you for your comment! I think undisputed facts can often be viewed differently by people with different backgrounds, beliefs, etc. And I do think sometimes people just have to agree to disagree. 

 

Nov 06, 2019 06:26 AM #52
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Thank you Janelle Ancillotti - I agree that the ones that say "unfriend me" are in the minority and that's a good thing!

Nov 06, 2019 06:27 AM #53
Rainmaker
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Melissa Tracht
NYC Insider Guide LTD - Manhattan, NY
NYC Website Publisher & Coach

Kat Palmiotti  - this is sooo spot on. Those posts drive me crazy.  
Ellen did a bit on this exact same thing last month (and really, if you don't love Ellen, just unfriend me now, LOL). 

She sat with President George W at a football game and people went nuts about her supporting Republicans.

She did a bit about it on her show and finished with: "When I say be kind to one another, I don't mean only the people who think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone. Doesn't matter."

https://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/ellen-degeneres-george-w-bush-video-46732335

Nov 06, 2019 07:22 AM #54
Rainmaker
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Karen Rice
Davis R. Chant, REALTORS - Hawley, PA
Northeast PA & Lake Wallenpaupack Home Sales

The type of thinking you describe is so upsetting and depressing. I can't imagine having such a narrow point of view..

Nov 07, 2019 01:11 AM #55
Rainmaker
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Melissa Tracht - I laughed at your "if you don't love Ellen, unfriend me now!" I happen to agree - being nice costs nothing and can do so much. 

Karen Rice - Thank you for your comment. I have a feeling those posters were upset about something specific and that's how they chose to address it. It probably wasn't very productive.

Nov 07, 2019 05:38 AM #56
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Oh, I just look the other way - move on and ignore them! Most of it is political and it drives me nuts. I'm always shocked that anyone who owns a business (and we all do own our own businesses) would mention anything political in the first place on social media!

Love your post, Kat - and agree with you wholeheartedly!

Nov 07, 2019 09:34 PM #57
Rainmaker
1,460,459
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Debe Maxwell, CRS - I usually just ignore and move on also, but it was more than one person which took me aback a bit. But it gave me reason to write a post, so it's all good! :-) Enjoy your day.

Nov 08, 2019 05:23 AM #58
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