Special offer

STRESS GOT YOU DOWN?...The STRESS FACTOR in Real Estate Getting to you too?

Real Estate Agent with Douglas Elliman Real Estate 30HA0800896

STRESS GOT YOU DOWN???...The STRESS FACTOR In Real Estate Getting To You Too?

As real estate professionals, we are up against daily, seemingly insurmountable challenges .

  • We deal with people where they live!
  • We have a responsibility to the public that not many other professions have: A homeowner in distress or a buyer buying their first home. 
  • The Home is the place where emotional, financial and survival mechanisms are rooted.
  • Not one other thing that an individual owns or manages is anything like their Home.
  • Families laugh there, cry there, play there and raise children there--memories are in the walls and layered in the floors.
  • As real estate professionals we now have an onslaught of new laws and new  technology  companies who are committed to our undoing--and they are more upfront about it than ever before!
  • Turned inward, our frustrations about new laws that govern rentals are eating away at our well-being like never before.

These STRESS FACTORS are embedded in our profession and need to  be recognized by each of us in order to heal and become polished, healthy, and ethical professionals.

I find the stress from real estate is one of the most overwhelming of all the other stresses in my life--most other situations I handle with no effort, it seems. But the stress from real estate is rather subtle in it's impact on my system. My back is a place where stress ends up. I just found a great chiropractor who helped me get rid of a constant pain in my neck and back.

Headaches come and go with the amount of stress I am having from my work...never had headaches before real estate!

Anger management is necessary in real estate. Either learn how to manage it yourself or get help to manage it! I have fortunately found ways to get over my anger very quickly, and to move on.

I find myself feeling resentful of the way some other agents behave, or the way a seller just talked to me. Resentment does nothing to improve your attitude. In fact,  it can kill you!


I wanted to share with all of you the idea that one of the major tools that is left out of our real estate training is how to handle the stresses from our work. Our initial training and our Continuing Ed classes never mention the STRESS FACTOR. As a result, we are in a profession that loses so many new agents in the first year of their real estate career that it is a common thing to see agents leave their desk and not even say they are leaving! There is also the disappearing agent who can't handle the stress anymore and so they just leave the business. Then there are those who fall victim to the abuse of alcohal and drugs.


  1. Deep breathing after an encounter and before a reaction.
  2. Relaxation techniques, i.e. meditation, self hypnosis (self talk that will send your subconsious the message that you are NOT a greedy SOB, just waiting for your next victim to bilk out of their money).
  3. A mantra that is in front of me at my desk or on my refrigerator: "I am a worthy, honest person; I deserve to be treated properly; I am a happy, successful, and thoughtful person"...Well, you get the point!
  4. Make up your own positive reinforcement.

Established agents have usually dealt with the stress that is built into our profession but many just push it down, try to ignore it. They may not even realize the deep influence this kind of stress can have on them and they go forward, working with other buyers and sellers without realizing they are bringing that anger, resentment and pain along with them into a new business relationship.

Many agents become ill or over imbibe, never realizing that years of subjecting their minds and bodies to this STRESS FACTOR is taking it's toll.

All professions have their stresses; all business comes with a substantial share of stress but none deal with the kind of stress that comes with a  seller who is about to lose his or her home.

  • Financial stress
  • Emotional stress
  • Fear of losing equity
  • Fear of losing the property
  • Fear of letting go of a family icon

No other profession has the multiplicity of emotions and conflicting feelings of a person who is letting go of such a personal possession as their home!

Whatever else you do to lessen the strain and stress from your work, it is wise to keep a positive thought.

As in a hike, life does not care what you suffer along the way. Life will end one way or another, just like that hike, and it is to your benefit and health to take the journey knowing that you will reach your final destination regardless of how the trip went. Why not make it as stress free as you can make it?

After all, it is a choice you make about how you feel regarding your interactions with people that will determine your well being in the end. Feel The Bliss!


Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Paula- it's a shame that a course or classes on handling stress aren't covered. Your job is 24/7 even though you may not take calls after a certain hour. But your mind is still thinking about your transactions. 

Nov 06, 2019 01:25 PM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Hi Kathy: It really is a shame. There is not one thing to show or guide a person along the way as they join this profession and try to make a living, only to find that you just may choke to death on the rough treatment and the general stress of the job. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Nov 06, 2019 01:32 PM
Elyse Berman, PA
LoKation Real Estate - Boca Raton, FL
Boca Raton FL (561) 716-7824

Hi Paula,  What a thought-provoking post.  Like Kathy Streib said, you are thinking about your transactions long after you shut down for the night.   You need to find the balance.  I am better saying it than doing it.

Jan 12, 2020 05:32 PM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Hi Elyse: Thanks for reading this post. I find I need reminders myself to take care of my peace of mind. It has been particularly difficult of late so I needed to get this out there for anyone who may need it. Glad you liked it!

Jan 12, 2020 07:39 PM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Paula,  You are so close to 500,000 points,  blog a couple of times am I will help you make it over.


Feb 15, 2020 09:01 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Hi Will. Thanks for reading this one. I just re-read it and got a chuckle. In retrospect I had better start following my own advice. I have just had a horrible problem that I almost couldnt handle! So, yes, I know I need to blog more...that has always been like salve to a wound. Thanks for the suggestion; I will take you up on that!

Feb 15, 2020 09:36 AM
Karly Boag

Hello. Stress is the most dangerous thing in our life. If you won't control your mood, with time you can get such mental health disease like depression. I think you know that a lot of people in all world suffer from this. Personally I found a decision, I smoke marijuana several times a week. It helps me to calm down and sleep better! If you want to read more facts about marijuana, here on https://www.destinationsmoke.com/ you can do this!

Nov 03, 2021 09:04 AM