Dealing with heartbreak and getting back to dating...

Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Residential


I have spoken with lots of people over the last few months, many of which are recently out of relationships. Both women and men…

Funny, everyone wants love, yet good relationships seem to evade so many of us…

I have a hunch. Not sure I am right, but still a hunch…

We all say our exes were toxic. Crazy. That we were codependent and that the ex was narcissistic. Can we really all be crazy? Narcissistic? Anyway…

After the relationship ends, most hop right back out there in the dating pool. Join Bumble. Tinder. Whatever the dating app of the day is. Looking to fill a void inside. Something is missing, and we want to find it. Plus there are plenty of fish in the sea, right?

But the dating pool is a scary place. Deep and dangerous…

We get back in the next relationship, hoping this time it will be different. After all, a new guy/girl gives us new hope. A chance for something different. It was all the exes fault after all…

There is a problem with this however. The problem is we aren’t willing to do the difficult things. The scary things. To look within. To evaluate ourselves. To change. To grow…

What role did we play in the last relationship?

Usually there is work to be done within. Lots of work. A lifetime of bad habits and bad behaviors, and we are looking for someone else to make us happy…

That won’t happen, because happiness comes from inside. Until we are healthy and happy with who we are, we won’t attract that healthy happy relationship we all crave…

Again, that change has to start from within. With our thoughts. Our habits. Our behaviors…

But again, this is only a hunch…





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Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Having closed hundreds of divorce related transactions,...there are people who "get right back out there" sometimes only to marry the same personality they divorced....unfortunately.

Nov 09, 2019 04:21 PM #1
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Ken - working on YOU, is the ultimate improvement project and it's continuous. 

Nov 09, 2019 04:44 PM #2
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Totally agree, water seeks its own level. And so do we.  Lessons must be learned. We have discovered the best relationships are between people who make each other better and help heal the wounds. 

Nov 09, 2019 07:59 PM #3
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

Ha! I know a little about this. Both from my own experience as one widowed out of a great marriage, and as a counselor for (mostly much younger) peeps who want a relationship SO BADLY they choose unwisely over and over again.

Here's the deal. The most important relationship YOU WILL EVER HAVE is with YOURSELF. If you feel that 'someone' must complete you, you're not ready.

When you are great with you, as is . . . everyone else will want to be with you as well.

Then you REALLY need to choose wisely! But at least you will be ready.

Nov 10, 2019 04:05 AM #4
Anna Banana Kruchten Arizona's Top Banana!
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ

Hey Ken you are on to something. When you are happy with you and don't need anyone else to 'make you feel happy' that's a sign. It's all about you baby!  My Mom used to say something like this to us kids......who's the person that's always been with you in every situation?  Duh? Roll our eyes.....  Take responsibility for you and your behaviors. No body else is to blame.  It's just you.   She  was right!!

Nov 10, 2019 10:26 AM #5
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Hi Ken,
I do hope you find the person you are looking for.  I read some great advice once that said:  You must first BE the kind of person the person you want will want to be with. Does that make sense?  It's a bit convoluted but I can't think of a better way to say it right now.  

I didn't get married until I was 30. I had been told more than once that I would never get married because I was too picky.  LOL   As it turned out, my husband was worth the wait. We were happily married (for 28 years) until he passed away in 2011.

Be patient. Be kind. Become the person you want to be for that special person.

Nov 10, 2019 11:11 AM #6
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Ken Tracy

Helping clients buy and sell since 2005
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