YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with people first...then business Ran Right Realty 636943 licensed to thrill

Here is a subject that causes discomfort starting with the one doing it first and then with anyone else it can rope in. Question: Have you ever heard someone pitch enthusiastically their excuse as if it was the gospel truth? For a person to do this they first had to convince themselves. Then, to make it stick convince you too

OWNING UP

Admitting what went wrong or how it could have gone better doesn't occur to the one who is in denial. NO. A story is manufactured and edited using the mind, emotions and five senses which add drama, scenarios and conjectures. In other words a story unfolds! It is interesting to note that this requires a lot of maintenance

WHY DOES SOMEONE EXCUSE?

Pride wants to feed and an excuse is a quality snack or meal depending on whether you want to cook up a storm or just a white lie and be done with it. An excuse is a mix of thinking, blaming, and accusing wrapped in denial, refusals and rejection of reality. In other words: The truth is not welcomed here. 

BLAME GAME

When a person engages their skills bank & commands it to tell the whopper or do the blame deed, it can be over-whelming, convincing & come across as the final word & what actually took place. However, there is something in the other persons tool box that just isn't buying it or wanting it. The person just knows its fishy!

THE GAME

If the one spinning the tale can get you to take the "bait" or argue then they have won no matter how much back & forth takes place. Participating in gibberish, doesn't make sense, I don't get it, fairy-tale, & anti-gut scenarios validates them & therein lies the problem & the solution too. Listen but don't engage saying...

YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN

You can say this little five word bomb with emotions, lock-eye or with indifference and calmness either way it goes to work and shuts down the intruder right then and there. There is no come-back! Why? Now the tide has turned and the other guy is arguing instead of getting you to argue. The arguer loses is the rule

FURTHERMORE

The excuse-maker is thrust into his own world of nonsense & then has to look at one of two choices. First, to enlarge on the whopper & launch an all out attack to up the incredible tale that is failing miserably or worse the second choice which is to pause, ponder, consider & then admit or stop the story. Repent?

IF ONE UPS THE WEAK TALE

I am out of there. The conversation is over and this results in a huge look at yourself moment for the whopper-teller and it should too. I leave them to recover to their senses and to obey their own conscience. There is no escape. Excuses have a very short life span. Real good excuses (really bad) die horrible deaths

IF ONE GIVES IN

If the one who is excusing comes to their senses by either stopping the farce or admitting something is missing then I become their advocate and friend who wants to not only help them but to solve the problem and move on. Why? Who hasn't made a mistake and wanted out of it? I treat others accordingly

HERE'S WHAT THE EXCUSE MAKER IS AFRAID OF

1. Embarrassment: We all know how uncomfortable it is to be embarrassed. Enough said

2. Penalty: Paying the price (morally or legally) of the error is not something people rush to do. 

3. Pride: The ego has to admit, lose face, assess their credibility and in effect visit with humility

LETTING PEOPLE SLIDE

I have met people in all situations that when something fails or doesn't go right and they begin their "mini-series" explanation the first thing I see is someone who is not loved or cared for. How? No one took the time to correct them, coach or counsel them differently. In effect, they left this person for someone else to deal with. The perpetrator and the next "victim" will have their hands full until this is stopped & corrected

THE BUCK HAS TO STOP BEING PASSED

To tell the truth is painful at times. It however is a short term type of pain with a long-term reward or it can be liberating right there and then with no after-wards dynamics. I just know truth works and is a good investment in every way. If we perpetuate the error we prolong our own loss, misery and gain. Yes we do

HAVING NO EXCUSES

You know a person who gets good at having no excuses has worked up to it. The reward of doing so is apparent and worthy too. One is light hearted, transparent, approachable and pleasant to be around with a character trait that is attractive. The world of NO EXCUSES is the true one. Here you will not be excused but embraced 

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Tags:
accountability
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character
problem solving
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ego
pride
lies
blame
error
righteousness
story telling
losses
excuses
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Rainmaker
3,472,016
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Richie - both a difficult subject but also rather straight-forward and simple too.  "Owning" is an appropriate word choice, isn't it?  It's a beginning and the rest of the story has yet to be told...

Dec 14, 2019 08:47 AM #1
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello Michael Jacobs ...the more difficult subjects pay-off better

Dec 14, 2019 11:09 AM #2
Rainmaker
4,632,469
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Richie,

A person who has no excuses is a rarity in life, and someone to be treasured as a friend.  A

Dec 14, 2019 12:54 PM #3
Rainmaker
1,101,131
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

Don't you wish people would climb out of their egos and just tell the truth! Then none of these shenanigans would be necessary.

Dec 14, 2019 01:00 PM #4
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Fitting tribute to the one who stays faithful & true says Ron and Alexandra Seigel 

Hi there Margaret Goss ...no shennanigans already please says Margaret I agree

Dec 14, 2019 02:14 PM #7
Rainmaker
689,311
Laura Filip
Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Excuses are like Elbows and back sides almost everyone has them. So for me, I will get up and move forward. 

 

Dec 14, 2019 03:27 PM #8
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Ladies and gentleman Laura Filip .....thank you

Dec 14, 2019 04:04 PM #9
Ambassador
4,009,269
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Richie- love that this was featured. Things happen. We make mistakes, and we need to own them. 

Dec 14, 2019 05:30 PM #10
Rainmaker
536,547
Francine Viola
Coldwell Banker Evergreen Olympic Realty, Olympia WA - Olympia, WA
REALTOR®, In Tune with your Real Estate Needs

Great analysis and you hit it spot on!  I had to LOL when you wrote, "they begin their "mini-series" explanation."  Perfect!

Dec 14, 2019 08:30 PM #11
Rainmaker
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James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Richie.

I know a little about a lot of things.  Having experienced a near death situation, I can tell you without fail, I saw the light and that sir is gospel 

Dec 15, 2019 01:38 AM #14
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Kathy Streib ...You would make a good teacher & your comment would do well

Francine Viola ...LOL too as I recall and visit with others and their epic stories

Hello James Dray ...The scales of life balance in mysterious ways. Gospel speaks

Dec 15, 2019 07:19 AM #15
Rainmaker
2,026,007
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good afternoon Richie Alan Naggar - great treatment of excuses.  I on quick sentence I can say Excuses on satisfys the person who makes them.

Dec 18, 2019 11:22 AM #16
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Grant Schneider ...the post value has increased by your useful commenting

Dec 18, 2019 12:07 PM #17
Ambassador
4,103,039
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

This was an interesting discussion, Richie. It seems that some people have an excuse for not doing something, or for a mistake they made but don't want to own up to. I think it's generally pretty easy to tell when someone IS making up an excuse. Certainly not something we want to do to our buyer and seller clients.

Jeff

Dec 21, 2019 03:05 PM #18
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello Jeff Dowler, CRS ...there is much to learn in this short period of time

Dec 21, 2019 06:13 PM #19
Rainmaker
388,313
M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
MC Dwyer-Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

What a fascinating treatise on excuses.    Unfortunately, I've had the "opportunity" to observe this behavior in my 88 year old father, about why he treated my husband poorly recently.   However, we don't have the luxury of some of your options in how to respond.      I think I'll share your post with my husband because of your wise grasp of possible underlying motives and historical contributors.

Dec 26, 2019 10:11 AM #20
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hi there M.C. Dwyer ...Your approach may very well lead to a solution

Dec 26, 2019 10:45 AM #21
Rainmaker
206,951
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

I have found that running your own business means you can't complain to others.  Having made mistakes in the past, I can see why things happened and they were essentially because I took my eye off the ball and went down a spurious path.  Yes, listening to others' excuses can infuriate you.  Thanks for posting this, Richie.

Jan 12, 2020 02:15 PM #22
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello John Henry, Florida Architect ...your comment stands & thank you J.H.

Jan 12, 2020 03:37 PM #23
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