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No matter how well we choose our words they will have no meaning until they are translated by our listener. Communication is a two-way process and it is more than just words. Effective communication involves feelings, connections, and other nonverbal signals. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best. “What you do speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying.” Therefore, it is important to understand the meaning others might put on your words. Your gestures, expressions, intonations, and beliefs will communicate much more meaning than the words alone.

Communication is a two-way process to exchange ideas. We communicate in order to elicit some type of response. Some examples of a response could be more knowledge, a specific action, or some type of emotion.

A good communicator, to be sure of the desired response, is also a good listener. He or she listens for feedback to see that the message is being understand. This also including watching the other person’s nonverbal signals and clues.

Depending on our communications media, the words we use might not have as powerful an impact as other factors. For example, in face to face conversations we communicate more information nonverbally through our body language and our tone of voice. Every communication has a nonverbal element.

You can miscommunicate with any form of medium. These are some that I have noticed.

Face to Face – Your body language will say whether you believe what you are saying or whether you are uncomfortable and unsure. When you speak look directly at the other person. If you look away it says you lack confidence or belief in your message. The listener might be reluctant to trust you based on your body language. Some other subtle signals such as the way you stand, the way you fidget, or your facial expression will create an impression that may be contrary to your words.

Email – I have heard people tell me that they can feel the anger in someone’s email. Tersely written emails with no forethought can do great damage. The misuse or overuse of email can damage relationships. I worked with a manager who sent emails to people who were sitting right outside her office. Her staff complained that she was impersonal and did not show interest in their contributions.

Phone -   Think about your message before you make that phone call. Your voicemail message on your phone should be carefully scripted. Listen to your message. If you were a caller what impression would you receive? When you leave messages on answering machines, they should be concise and to the point, not rambling to the point of being cut off by the time limit?

Nonverbal Communication

Once again, remember that the best way to give a good message is to be a good listener. Remember, we have two ears and one mouth. Focus on the person receiving the message. Watch for clues of understanding, engagement, and agreement. In short, what to see if you are getting that response you desire. In this way you will ensure that you have connected and established two-way communication.  For a similar post on our web site see IS YOUR MESSAGE LOST IN THE TRANSLATION?

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Roy Kelley 12/22/2019 01:00 AM
Real Estate Best Practices
New York Westchester County
Coaching and Mentoring
active listening
clear communication
body language in communication

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Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 480-966-9353 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Hi Grant,

Great post. I always prefer face-to-face communication, but we have to use email and phone, too, in our business, and it is gerat to be aware of how to convey our message via different media.

Dec 17, 2019 09:13 AM #29
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Grant. Congrats on going over 2 million with such rich content. Enjoy your day 

Dec 17, 2019 09:38 AM #30
Mimi Foster
Falcon Property Solutions - Colorado Springs, CO
Voted Colorado Springs Best Realtor

Woot woot! Congratulations on your two million point mark! Such an accomplishment!

Dec 17, 2019 12:02 PM #31
Krystin Mitchell, CPA CFE
KLSM CPA Firm, PLLC - Houston, TX
I help clients resolve IRS tax matters

Hi Grant - communication is key and email and phone etiquette is essential. Thanks for sharing the advice!

Dec 17, 2019 01:02 PM #32
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

The arena to learn all this is where it all takes place. We do well to remember that all are on learning curves and in different places and times making allowances necessary for growth potential. Patience is no myth but a portal

Dec 17, 2019 07:48 PM #33
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Will - only if they need a heads up.  More infortant info over phone.

Rose Mary - active listening makes the connection.

Kathleen - yes, does that make sense is a great question!

Nina - thank you soo much.

Carol - I certainly prefer the face to face.

Steffy - there is a purpose for each.



Dec 18, 2019 03:23 AM #34
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Wayne - thank you.  I appreciate the support.

Mimi - thanks so much.

Krystin - each mode has its own pitfalls.

Richie - that is very well said.

Dec 18, 2019 11:07 AM #35
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA

Fabulous information and so well written, Grant.

Yet...when I saw the title, I thought a totally different thought. I was thinking about the many surveys of buyers and sellers whose main complaint about their agent was that there was a lack of communication.

#1...we need to communicate.

#2...we need to do it in an appropriate manner.

Seems so simple until it is put into real world practice/1

Dec 18, 2019 04:10 PM #36
Marc St Martin
United Real Estate Infinity - Cape Coral, FL
Your friend in the business!

Great post.  Communication is the foundation of establishing a relationship based on trust.

Dec 18, 2019 05:35 PM #37
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Prado Real Estate South - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Very well said-written Grant! Everything spoken or written is digested differently by the intended receiver. Make sure every word counts to ensure business now and in the future!

Dec 18, 2019 05:35 PM #38
Diana Dahlberg
1 Month Realty - Pleasant Prairie, WI
Real Estate in Kenosha, WI since 1994 262-308-3563

Great Message!  In summary, the best way to give a good message is to be a good listener

Dec 18, 2019 08:16 PM #39
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Too much talking to Maddie iMessage a lot of the time for me as well. It’s pretty easy to get over excited.

Dec 18, 2019 10:28 PM #40
Maria Gilda Racelis
Home Buyers Realty, LLC-Manchester, Bolton. Vernon,Ellington - Manchester, CT
Home Ownership is w/in Reach. We Make it Happen!

Good Morning Grant. In total agreement with what you said. Also, gesticulations can reveal more about the message than spoken words. 

Dec 19, 2019 03:31 AM #41
Peter Mohylsky, Beach Expert
PrimeSouth Properties - Santa Rosa Beach, FL

Communication skills are key, working on these skills are necessary.  

Dec 19, 2019 04:41 AM #42
Jeremy Joslin
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - South Windsor, CT
Professional Real Estate Marketing and Sales

Excellent post Grant.  Something we can all improve on!

Dec 19, 2019 07:47 AM #43
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

John - you said a mouthful.  It does seem simple until we put it in practice.

Marc - trust is the foundation for any communication.

Wanda - the communication is only effective if seen that way by the receiver.

Diana - that is exactly right.

Laura - yes that is so true too.

Maria - much more as much as 70+ percent.

Peter - biggest issue facing business.

Jeremy - that is right.  I work on it every time.

Dec 19, 2019 10:11 AM #44
Connie Martin
San Jose, CA

Learn how to communicate. EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY by Jones Smith and Mackin. Wonderful book I got the audio at the Library!!


Dec 19, 2019 03:03 PM #45
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Connie - thank you for that book referral.

Dec 20, 2019 08:13 AM #46
Jeff Dowler, CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Grant:

This is such a powerful post and it certainly deserved being featured!! As you point out it is not just the words that we say but so much more that reveal the emotions and the true message.

I'm sure we have all sent emails or texts that perbaps did not quite convey our true message, and have certainly been on the receiving side!


Dec 21, 2019 01:10 PM #47
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, communication is key, but there are so many times we just need to be quiet and listen! 

Jan 17, 2020 09:53 AM #48
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