WHY IGNORE? (life lesson)

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with people first...then business Ran Right Realty 636943 licensed to thrill

I discovered this dynamic called ignoring when I was a child but I didn't understand what it was or why it was or just what was it? It exposes itself as a feeling that pulls or pushes that is not pleasant when it is at work and the natural response as a child is to make a noise, do an action or with draw plus everything in between to counter this ugly invisible force at work in the moment

NOT INTENTIONAL?

Still exploring this as a child, ignoring someone can be on purpose or out of ignorance. If on purpose, the pain is amplified in experience causing a child to wonder what they did or didn't do & they don't have much to assess because they just don't know. They do know they are rejected & not in those words but in action

INTENTIONAL

This is where prejudice, bias, and judgment can enter in still unknown at first but soon to be found out is at work. Poverty invites being ignored as does poor hygiene, dressed incorrectly and bad manners. There are reasons to ignore but let me say they hurt the one they are working on... no matter what the reason is

SELF-ESTEEM

When this visits it is not fully understood but if repeated continuously one begins to figure out and believe (incorrectly) that there is something wrong with them and it gets worse when they don't know what that is. So you are not good enough and you even start to believe and act this out. Very confusing and traumatic

HIGH SCHOOL

As you get older if this is not corrected or dealt with or if it continues it will assault the character of a person and interfere with their growth and learning curves by disruption and ignorance (notice the ignor in this word) and potentials, outcomes and personalities suffer, stunt and if not corrected will dysfunction

NOW WE ARE ADULTS

As adults, we are required to know better just because we grew up and matured. That is the expectation but we all know that is faulty. Why? People arrive at different subjects at different times so this is ongoing. Age plays a small part. Exposure a larger one. Now here is the heart of the posting....

WHY WOULD YOU IGNORE SOMEONE?

When I walk into a room, or when I meet people in a group or alone, I acknowledge them. How so? A smile, a glance, a verbal or a gesture but I know they are there and they know it too. Imagine the opposite force at work where someone goes out of there way or just matter of factly ignores a person or group?

 IS IT NORMAL?

Pretending someone is not there, deliberately acting that out is an assault emotionally, mentally, and psychologically on another and it hurts. Now are we compelled to interact? Of course not! You may go about your business as you choose and are under no obligation to meet or greet anyone. Let's explore that

WALKING LOOKING DOWN?

Have you ever seen a person walking with their head down? They are in a state of self-absorption a type of enclosed loop that replays & blocks out everything else. Picture a hamster wheel with the hamster running going no where. I do not hold them accountable nor consider them to be rude. However they are missing out input & feedback from being self-aware. Their discovery mode is closed. Programming is at work

IGNORING DYNAMICS IN BUSINESS

If you are running a business or want to start one ignoring people is the KISS of DEATH. You all know what I am speaking about. Ever been ignored in public? Restaurants? Retail stores? Doctors office? Literally any destination where people end up has to have some greeter or acknowledgment that they are there or we are off on the wrong foot. That uncomfortable feeling of "not wanted here" visits....

HELLO EVERYONE

When I walk into a group or public gathering that allows this I say: Hello everyone! If I approach two people one of who I know, I will greet them and the other in some way. When I am offering assistance professionally or personally I am quick to include all relevant. How... is subject to the event but I do it!

TODAY IT GOT COMPLICATED

Today, smart phones allow people to ignore people & it is okay because we know why they are being ignored. Earphones do the same too. People who are busy have a convenient excuse not to interact & those in a hurry as well. What kind of world are we creating when we come up with systems to ignore each other?

INTIMACY IS AT STAKE

Your personal and professional self will suffer or miss out (no growth or opportunities). Warm & fuzzy will decrease and cold & distant will gain momentum. People will fight, insist or rebel to be heard or acknowledged until they are. Sound familiar? Its happening all over the world. Don't let it happen in yours

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Tags:
manners
courtesy
rudeness
love
ignore
recognition
interacting
self esteem
hurt
interpersonal
learning curve
do unto others
dysfunction
unworthiness
greeting people
insensitive
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Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Jan 11, 2020 06:51 PM #5
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Kathy Streib ...see you at Kathys Korner Kafe...

Jan 11, 2020 07:02 PM #6
Rainmaker
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James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Richie.

Depending on the size of the crowd I try to make it around to everyone.  There are times, it is just not possible

Jan 12, 2020 02:34 AM #7
Rainmaker
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Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Richie - as I encounter people out and about, I do notice certain patterns.  It's interesting to see someone walking along with a pet or perhaps a child(a baby in a stroller) otherwise engaged.  Talking on a cell phone, ear buds in or something else.  Distracted?  Maybe.  Otherwise engaged and now efficiently utilizing their time?  Perhaps.  The "stories" we "see" we may or may not fully understand.  Life has a habit of being exposed to many lessons....I am still learning

Jan 12, 2020 05:01 AM #8
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello James Dray ...when the heart is in the right place the action speaks louder

Hello Michael Jacobs ...We are on a world with each one within their own world connected but separate all with a unique story to tell (or not) of it all

Jan 12, 2020 05:53 AM #9
Rainmaker
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John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Very interesting exposition on ignoring others.  VERY good: Pretending someone is not there, deliberately acting that out is an assault emotionally, mentally, and psychologically on another and it hurts

 

And I think now people absorbed with their digital toys are turning into social pariahs.

Jan 12, 2020 10:04 AM #10
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

John Henry, Florida Architect ...your comment stands and thank you J.H.

Jan 12, 2020 10:54 AM #11
Rainmaker
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Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Richie: Fascinating analysis of what goes on in the world of humans. We don't know why we are being ignored, even as an adult, and so we become numb to the distance that lies between us. What would happen if we, at the very moment we suspect we are being ignored, just walk up to the other human and say something like this: "Is that you? Oh yes, I see now that it is you! What a wonderful thing for you to be here in the same place that I find myself." Then you can go onto another topic or just walk away. I am a very shy person; as a child I was "Painfully" shy and there were people who were not very nice to me and I was wishfully hoping they WOULD ignore me! So, I created a place that I would go, inside myself, to ruminate about this and that and to just, in general, ignore those around me! As a full grown human now I can see that I gave over all my personal power to others by ignoring them! It is the single strongest emotion I have now, as a fully developed human: I love to have the attention of all of those around me. But you know what? I find I am being ignored, at an age where it is not very easy to feel unimportant to others. I get your point and I can only feel real concern for those much younger than I, who cannot seem to lift their head from a device to speak to a family member much less a stranger in the same room. Thank you, Richie, for the wonderful words to chew on and ruminate about.

Jan 12, 2020 12:20 PM #12
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

When I smile and say hello to a person, and I know they've seen me, as we make eye contact, it feels sad when they don't reciprocate. I cannot imagine ignoring someone who offers a friendly gesture. You hit a sweet spot of need in this post. It's a wonderful reminder to be kind. 

Jan 12, 2020 12:49 PM #13
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Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Prado Real Estate South - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

People are losing the ability to engage verbally and use eye contact. They'd rather text! I enjoy walking down the sidewalk and saying hello, whether they acknowledge or not. Great post Richie!

Jan 12, 2020 01:02 PM #14
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

                                                            PAULA'S BOX

One of my pleasures Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA ...most excellent commenting of the highest form thank you Paula for being you...a treasure

Jan 12, 2020 03:42 PM #15
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hi there Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD ...yes to your sharing episode and I get many of them always wondering this: What is that burden, belief or self-imposed law that is at work in you? It is taking from you...not me

Hello Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! ...yes you are an enjoyable person

Jan 12, 2020 03:44 PM #16
Rainmaker
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Leanne Smith
Dirt Road Real Estate - Golden Valley, AZ
Relocation to NW AZ with elbow room & more freedom

As President Teddy Roosevelt said "No one cares how much you now until they know how much you care." Intnentionally gnoring people serves no purpose. Great insight thank you Richie Alan Naggar 

Jan 13, 2020 05:53 AM #17
Rainmaker
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Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hi Richie Alan Naggar, I was with a few of my friends Saturday and this came up during our conversation. Our actions have a great impact on others, especially children. We ignore people because of the way they dress, the way they speak,  where they came from, how they look, smell etc. Sadly, it is happening in our world.

Jan 13, 2020 06:03 AM #18
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hi there Leanne Smith ...so good of you to visit & share thank you

Hello little Beth Atalay ...the post value went up  with your decent commenting

Jan 13, 2020 07:28 AM #19
Rainmaker
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Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Realty Center - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Congrats on Kathy featuring your post this week!  I can see why she did!

Jan 13, 2020 07:54 AM #20
Rainmaker
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Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I enjoy you Kristin Johnston - REALTOR® 

Jan 13, 2020 08:00 AM #21
Rainmaker
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Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

I enjoyed reading this, something we all know but very well put as usual. Those walks allow you to formulate good posts.

Jan 13, 2020 08:30 AM #22
Rainmaker
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Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

My wife and I were having a discussion about this just after being out and about in our town, Richie Alan Naggar ... so many people ignoring one another, including us!  Ironic the timing.  You touch upon so many fascinating features of this topic ... and provide much to consider regarding our own actions.

Gene

 
Jan 13, 2020 09:22 AM #23
Rainmaker
2,502,729
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Hello Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 ...I am enjoying all aspects of life thank you

Hello Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi ...life is one big ponder food......

Jan 13, 2020 09:54 AM #24
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