I have a friend I value – and yet we’ve drifted apart over the past few years. When we were doing animal rescue together, we saw each other or talked almost every day. But you know how life changes.
We both moved away from animal rescue when the politics got to be too much to stand. We 
still went riding together now and then, but it got harder to find the time. Her husband retired and demanded more of her time. Her daughter moved to live nearby so she was spending as much time as possible with her. I called her now and then, but she seldom called me – so, I thought she was just too busy.
Over time we talked perhaps every couple of months – or even less. She went through the horror of breast cancer and almost didn’t mention it to me.
She survived that and checkups have been positive the past few years.
But last Spring something else happened. She started falling down. The doctors don’t know why. She got to a point where she doesn’t walk around unless her husband is there to catch her if she loses her balance. He’s doing the cooking and cleaning – and feeding the horses for her.
Sometime in the fall the doctors decided she should see a neurologist, so they made an appointment – for February! I find that unbelievable.
A month or so ago that changed – she could see this specialist in January.
Today I called to see if she’d seen the doctor yet and just to check in. No, the appointment isn’t for another couple of weeks – might as well have been February.
I asked if her son had gotten here for Christmas and she said no, he hadn't come over. They had Christmas dinner at her daughter’s house, and she was glad she got to see most of her grandchildren.
I was afraid her son wouldn’t come. He’s friends with my son, and Chris told me that Tom didn’t want to come because it was too hard for him to see his Mom in that shape. It kinda made me want to go to Seattle shake some sense into him!
Before we hung up today I said “Call me.” She said that she didn’t even call her daughter – she knows we’re both busy.
So there she sits, trying to appreciate all her husband is doing to help; trying not to be cranky about what she can’t do; and feeling isolated because she thinks the people who care about her are “too busy.” She doesn’t want to be a bother.
I said – “No, just call me any time you feel like a chat.” I hope she does, but doubt that she will. I’ll have to make it a point to call her.
If you have a friend who might need to hear your voice – make that call.
Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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