Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

No one likes to be sold. The recipient or the buyer who has been sold has the feeling that someone just did something to him or her. Many times, people who feel as if they have been sold have buyer’s remorse. On the other hand, people sure do love to buy. Moreover, surveys have should that people’s perception of salespeople range from necessary to swarmy. Just about all of us are in sales in some form and we certainly don’t want to be seen that way. So, let’s move from the sales side and help our client buy. In effect, be the assistant buyer.

What is your perception of your doctor when you have a problem or a pain? If you are going because of stress, anxiety, or pain you are looking for the doctor to diagnose and solve your pain. What is different here?

If you visit your doctor because you have a pain in your back the doctor does a complete examination and asks you many questions including, “Where does it Hurt? How long has it hurt? What activity were you doing?” and so on. He or she may then suggest some of the possible causes such as a torn tendon. Then he or she asks if you have experienced unusual activity that might be related to your pain. The doctor is helping you discover the root cause of your pain so that you will understand the need for a prescribed treatment. No surprise. These were your expectations when you came in. You did not expect her to greet you at the door and say, “You are in luck today because we are running a special on back surgery. Get one back surgery now and get 50% off on a future knee replacement.”

Now persuading people to buy from you is no different. You are assisting people with solving their needs. Doesn’t it make sense then to assist the client with the buying decision rather than selling them something? You will be more successful in the role of assistant buyer.

In the past salespeople were taught to concentrate on making the sale and closing the sale. Since today’s buyers are no longer willing to be sold do you wonder why you experience resistance when you use this method? Instead of being the salesperson you should become the assistant buyer. You are assisting your prospect in determining her wants and needs and, only then, are you offering solutions. Ask questions like a doctor diagnosing their needs.

Successful Business

Listen to your prospect’s wants and needs. Then ask some REWARD questions. For example, how will this new computer system improve your department’s “on time” performance? How will on time performance of your department affect the company’s overall performance? How will that affect you and your role with the company? Next ask some CONSEQUENCE questions. For example, what will happen to your department’s performance if you don’t upgrade the computer system? Will that affect company performance? What problems might you have explaining poor performance to management?

By alternating questions, you are assisting your prospect in diagnosing pain and deciding on the right solution. Congratulations. You are an assistant buyer.  For a similar post on our web site HELP YOUR CLIENT BUY.

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Roy Kelley 01/24/2020 01:00 AM
Real Estate Best Practices
New York Westchester County
Coaching and Mentoring
assistant buyer to your client
people dont like to be sold
sales doctor

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George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Grant being in the mortgage industry I am very familiar with the reaction of Borrowers when they find out their mortgage has been sold to someone else to service it.  I always let them know even though they are making their mortgage payment to another company, I am still available to answer all their questions.  This often help to smooth the waters.

Jan 21, 2020 11:22 AM #17
Anna Banana Kruchten Broker/Owner, CRB, CRS
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ

Hey Grant you cracked me up with this line.....Get one back surgery now and get 50% off on a future knee replacement.”



Jan 21, 2020 03:28 PM #18
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I have taken tours on various occasions and found them all useful and informative. An agent or any professional is really a tour guide in their chosen field. Take the tour, glean what you can and be better off for it. Thank you Grant

Jan 21, 2020 05:27 PM #19
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


Well I love that first statement...NO ONE likes to be sold (including me)! We need to always keep that in mind and be sure we are NOT doing something with potential clients that may turn them off! I see it all the time in our business, but in lots of other businesses, too.


Jan 21, 2020 09:19 PM #20
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

George - oh yes, and that happens almost every time.

Anna Banana - I knew that would get a reaction.

Richie - it is always better when you talk it out.

Jeff - No one likes to be sold but they do like to buy.

Jan 22, 2020 07:57 AM #21
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Hi there, Grant. I too laughed at the medical analogy. Very powerful too. I run like the wind when someone tries to sell me something.  I hear far too many realtors brag about their sales techniques - in reality, they should be working on their relationship and customer service skills. 

Jan 22, 2020 09:50 AM #22
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Excellent exposition here, Grant.  Three days ago I was asked to look at a porch addition on a historic house here in Winter Park.  I was quickly vetted at the door and then asked to see what needed to be done.  I spent about an hour or so on site and had a good discussion while I was trying to understand what was intended.  There was an upcoming second phase and it appeared that the client did not want to talk about it much but it obviously impinged on the first phase.  So I pressed to find out what was going to happen, asking several questions, etc. and then I left with a handshake and a mention of his last name being similar to a high school friend's.  

I did not offer him a quote on site.  I said I would forward a proposal after thinking about it a bit more.  In the course of two days I sent some historical photos of the type of house he had based on Italian villa styles and pointed out some alternatives he had not considered.  I then wrapped it up in a second email to indicate what routes were available.  
I did not make a pitch with me fee or some kind of discount.

He was thrilled with both responses.
I then said that a structural engineer or builder needed to see what he had in mind and how the additions would impact the structure.  I said I would send a proposal after that.

You are correct about going to a doctor.  But the thing is you really don't expect that kind of treatment as you have already made an appointment for treatment.  There is really no 'interview' process unless perhaps you are going in for some very delicate surgery, etc.

We all tend to feel we are in a hypercompetitive situation and that there will be someone at our heels undercutting our fees.  

Things to consider!  Thank you

Jan 22, 2020 11:35 AM #23
Eva B. Liland Century 21 Doug Anderson
Century 21 Doug Anderson - Lancaster, CA
Glad to be of Service 661-714-1643

I don't sell, I ask questions. Asking questions to find out how many bedrooms, baths, location, price range, cash or finance, etc. When I'm done asking, I have a very clear picture in my mind what they are looking for and if they have the credit needed to qualify.

Jan 22, 2020 11:53 AM #24
Peter Mohylsky, Beach Expert
PrimeSouth Properties - Santa Rosa Beach, FL

I personally like the idea of solving peoples needs.  it is the way i go.  But are we in the minority? 

Jan 23, 2020 05:59 AM #25
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Debb and Bernie - yes we don't want sales pressure.

John Henry - that is a perfect sales doctor situation.  In a case that your or even in my own case questions and thoughts are most important.  You also then develop mutual comfort and the price situation is not as strong.

Eva - yes, questions help in your role as assistant buyer.



Jan 23, 2020 07:49 AM #26
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Peter - it is unfortunate that you are in the minority.  I know that these are the people that I want to deal with.

Jan 23, 2020 08:44 AM #27
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

I agree totally!  Some agents do  the hard sell.  I don't.  I also try to educate them (besides assist) with current market conditions, paperwork, inspections, etc.

Some sellers have the mistaken impression that the listing agent 'sells' the property.  I look at it as marketing the property to agents and buyers  as I don't have direct access to the buyer for a 'sell' job.  It is the buyers decision to buy or not

Jan 23, 2020 10:37 AM #28
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Mary - yes this is very well said.

Jan 24, 2020 09:55 AM #29
Noah Gamer
GAMER Real Estate Group - Dallas, TX
Real Estate Advisor serving North Dallas Texas

Great Article. I believe that "listening" is one of the hardest things an advisor can do. I also believe in not selling but providing valuable advice to my clients. It is however a fine line, as we are all in the selling business. Supporting their needs and solving their problems is a great way to retain the relationship with out selling anything. 

Jan 24, 2020 12:42 PM #30
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Noah - it is a fine line so that our questions can be designed to help them move closer to their decision.

Jan 25, 2020 06:19 AM #31
M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
MC Dwyer-Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

Interesting post - I'd never thought of alternating questions based on rewards or consequences - that's a great idea to help people better understand their situation and identify what they'd like to do.

Jan 27, 2020 09:00 AM #32
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Thankfully, I haven’t really gotten to that point yet but I totally see how you can get there pretty easily if you’re not careful.

Jan 27, 2020 03:53 PM #33
Laura Filip
Laura Filip Broker , Opening doors for All Seasons of Life - Whitesboro, TX
What can we do for you today?

Kindness goes a long way, really caring goes a long way. Having a spirit of giving will show up and no sales pitch is needed. 

Feb 18, 2020 04:38 PM #34
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

M. C. - yes, you are assisting them in setting their goals.

Laura - that good.  Thanks.

Laura - for sure.  people don't want the stress of being sold.

Feb 19, 2020 05:46 AM #35
Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

I totally agree with everything you said, Grant! I just wrote an answer for someone in Q&A about this very thing - we find out what they need, ask the questions and as their advocate, guide them as they make their selection. 

There's the age-old disagreement regarding whether or not we are salespeople - I don't feel that we are other than logging sales for the books. We intervew, LISTEN, teach and hold their hands through the long and winding process. In the end, we log another sale but, pushing homes on people is not my style!

Feb 19, 2020 09:14 PM #37
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