Raising a Boy to Be a Man, not a Sex Predator

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with IDTheftSecurity.com Inc

If you looked at a photo of a baby boy, could you ever predict that he would grow up to become a sexual predator? Probably not. However, a study shows that men who commit sexual crimes are more likely to have something called an “anxious attachment” to their mothers due to feeling rejected as children when wanting attention. As adults, this makes those men unable to create a healthy attachment to women. Research also shows that men who talk to other men known to harass women are even more likely to engage in this behavior.

The big question here is how to prevent our young sons from growing up an becoming predatory men. Psychology tells us that the core of all painful behaviors are two feelings: not feeling worthy and feeling shameful. So, to stop creating predators, we must eliminate these feelings. Here are some things that we can do to start raising boys to be men and not sexual predators:

Change the Meaning of Power

Living in a society where “power” means being better than another person only leads to humiliation and judgement. When we are humiliated, we feel shamed, and that, in turn, raises the odds that a child would become a sexual predator.

Stop Associating Sex and Power

Both men and women are raised, in most cases, to believe that they can stop feeling shame if they are attractive. Women tend to do this with making themselves skinny, often with eating disorders. Men overcome shame by feeling attractive too, but also by being successful. Both genders find affirmation of this through sex, but if a person already feels humiliated, sex can make them feel even less worthy.

Celebrate our Differences

A cultural shift to celebrate our differences, including those between men and women, men and men, women and women, and those who identify as them, their, they would certainly help, too. Many men began to wonder how they could cause their maleness to be appreciated, too. However, we have to learn that we are different in regards to certain things, and to understand that it is totally possible to express differences of tolerance while still celebrating our differences.

Learn to Really Love

We also have to teach children that real empowerment comes from unconditional love. This is love that is given with joy and given without necessarily getting love in return.

Push an Evolution of Society

Research shows that when we live with an attitude of love and compassion, we feel less fear. So, we have to change the way we look at life and connect with our core ability to be loving and compassionate.

OK, so will all of the above solve our sex predator problem? NO. But, there’s definitely something to being more loving, compassionate, and mindful to others. So as my wife always says to me “Just be nice”.

ROBERT SICILIANO CSP, is a #1 Best Selling Amazon author, CEO of CreditParent.com, the architect of the CSI Protection certification; a Cyber Social and Identity Protection security awareness training program.

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Rainmaker
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Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Make a child feel worthwhile and loved and you have accomplished much during their wonder years. 

Jan 26, 2020 09:36 AM #8
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Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California - Carlsbad, CA
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I think parents who are loving and comassionate will likely raise their sons, and daughters, to be the same.

Jan 26, 2020 12:37 PM #9
Rainmaker
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Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Robert Siciliano,

I'm so glad that Kathy Streib featured your post in her "Ah-Ha" moments for the week as I missed it. Excellent post to address raising sons to be compassion, giving, productive men.

Jan 27, 2020 06:13 AM #10
Rainmaker
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Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

I saw a meme on facebook recently that really struck me....it was about crimes on women and how it is usually reported about the woman instead of the man.

We say a woman was raped instead of saying a man raped a woman, for instance.

Parents can do a lot to help make their boys become better men.

 

Jan 27, 2020 07:08 AM #11
Rainmaker
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Tom Bailey
Margaret Rudd & Associates Inc. - Oak Island, NC

Well said Robert! I am very fortunate, my one and only son is very respectful of women

Jan 27, 2020 07:47 PM #12
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Gwen Fowler-CRS- 864-638-3599 SC Mountains & Lakes--
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc - Salem, SC
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc.

Thank you for sharing this very well written blog. I have bookmarked it for the future. 

Jan 28, 2020 07:58 AM #13
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Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

Likewise what everyone else said.  Lots of good points here.  I guess I'm glad I dodged the bullet of raising kids - it's not an easy task.

Jan 29, 2020 01:09 AM #14
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

It really can be a lot simpler than people think. Lead by example! I’m just busting chops! That was a serious thing!

Feb 01, 2020 10:44 PM #15
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I do a lot of self reflection and buy them and see what I come up with friends and family!

Feb 01, 2020 10:45 PM #16
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Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Wow!  Interesting stuff.  Had never thought about how they become one from an early age.

Feb 06, 2020 03:33 PM #27
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