Journaling And Grief

By
Real Estate Agent 0488515
My wife died on December 14, 2019.  At the time of her death one of the hospital Chaplin's gave me a folder on grief and resources available.
 
I placed the folder on my desk and did not take the time of review the material until the 21st of December.
 
One thing that caught my attention was a suggestion to start keeping a journal.  In my wife's belongings there was a new journal still in the shrink wrap, so I said to myself hey why not
 
I am not a good writer like so many here in the rain (7 features in 13 years), but my journal is for me an me only.
 
My journal if my safe place.  There are no rules, there is no spell checker.  I can write as much or as little, there are no rules.
 
I don't follow a schedule; however, I just write things throughout the day.  Some days may be just a couple of paragraphs, other days there will be many pages.
 
Journaling allows me to put my grief into words, share memories of my wife, record many memories that are in my mind on a daily basis.  Things that make me happy, and others that make me sad.  Things that have nothing to do with grief, but just took place that day.
 
For me journaling will be an ongoing event.
 
 
 
 
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Ambassador
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Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Richard:

This is such a wonderful idea, when the tme is right as it clearly is for you I hope it is bringing you much comfort and wonderful memories!

Jeff

Feb 23, 2020 05:08 PM #39
Rainmaker
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

It really helps tremendously, having gone through it myself and everything that comes with it!

Feb 23, 2020 07:51 PM #40
Rainmaker
2,825,460
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

This is everything about confidence in momentum and good vibes and I wish you all the best!

Feb 23, 2020 07:53 PM #41
Rainmaker
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Brenda J. Andrew
ULTIMA REAL ESTATE - Corpus Christi, TX
Professional Realtor in Corpus Christi, TX

Good morning Richard, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.  My heart and prayers go out to you.  Journaling has helped me so much through the years, and I like to go back and read my journals showing what I was going through at different times and how God has brought me through it.  I realized as I was journaling, and writing scriptures at the same time, I could see the healing taking place and also see what God was doing through it all.  I guess mine has been more of a prayer journal that I started during a very hard time in my life.  I also try to write things down that are good or bad, happy or sad.  I am not as consistant as you are at this time.  Thanks for sharing this with us here in the rain. You are an important part of this community and it is good for us to let others know what we are going through. Will be continuing to lift you and your family up in prayer.  

Feb 24, 2020 04:00 AM #42
Rainmaker
529,753
Wendy Rulnick
Rulnick Realty, Inc. - Destin, FL
"It's Wendy... It's Sold!"

Richard, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear wife.  I think you are a good writer!  I just experienced the loss of a loved one recently and wrote a poem, just shared between me and my husband. It has helped the grieving process.  My thoughts and prayers to you.

Feb 24, 2020 01:06 PM #51
Rainer
403,959
Joan Valverde
HomeSmart Realty - Adams City, CO
GRI,CDPE,CNE,MRP,SRES Colo Sprgs, Blk Forest, Monu

Richard I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.  Today, we started our week going to a funeral for a wonderful man, 4 days away from 92.  Saturday we will go to our friend of 56 whom lost her battle with cancer.  Both now HOME!  I love that you  are journeling,  what a way to let out your feelings.  I have purchased journels for my grandchildren as such a great way to put your thoughts, prayers, joys and tears out there on paper.  May God be with you as you go through this journey!!  

Feb 24, 2020 05:26 PM #52
Ambassador
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Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

There is something healing about journaling Richard. Putting thoughts and feelings down, though raw, shows the journey taken. I am so very sorry for your loss and wish you comfort through your grief.

Feb 24, 2020 06:44 PM #53
Rainer
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Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

Having experienced the passing of family and friends, I discovered that celebrating their life on Memorial and Veterans Day to memorialize their life gives me solace and gratitude. Whatever, activity to give you peace and solace is a choice, so, as we continue our journey of life, let's remain active, joyful and not neglect the family and friends that are still with us. 

Feb 25, 2020 12:28 AM #54
Rainmaker
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Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Richard, journaling is a great way to heal, I believe. I started when I was 30 after a long illness and it did help me. 

Feb 25, 2020 08:11 AM #55
Anonymous
Dana Cottingame

When my daughter died someone suggested a gratitude journal. It was the best thing anyone told me. I am sorry you are experiencing this but I am glad someone suggested journaling.

Feb 25, 2020 08:14 AM #56
Rainmaker
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Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Richard... sorry for your loss, I hope the journal brings you a tool to get down the thoughts that slip by as the days go on. She isn't really completely gone if you remember her in your writing. 

Feb 25, 2020 10:55 AM #57
Rainer
172,859
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

I didn't know that journalling was a good thing to help somebody through grief. When I lost my mom a year ago, I did journal the experience. I guess the need was there to help myself grieve. How ironic! I will keep it in mind if I need to grieve another loved one and this time I'll know it is helping me more than I know. My condolences on the lost of your wife in December.

Feb 25, 2020 01:38 PM #60
Rainer
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Anthony Kirlew
Group 46:10 Network @ eXp Realty - Gilbert, AZ
Helping You Make Fiscally Sound Choices

Richard, so sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.

Feb 25, 2020 08:06 PM #61
Rainmaker
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Gloria Todor
Century 21 Absolute Realty - Springfield, PA
& Doug Durren (484) 431-3686 in SE PA

Richard, So sorry to hear of your wife's passing. Thank you for sharing your new found tool to help you with your grief. Journaling by hand, not typing into a computer, there is something to it. I've journaled off and on since I was a teen and know the benefits of this activity.  May you find the comfort you need as time goes on. Take care.

Feb 26, 2020 08:38 AM #66
Rainmaker
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M.C. Dwyer
Century 21 Showcase REALTORs - Felton, CA
MC Dwyer-Santa Cruz Mountains Property Specialist

My heart goes out to you Richard - I can not imagine the depths of some of the waves of grief.    (I look to the ocean for many analogies and wisdom about life.)  Sounds like the journal was meant to be.    I hope, over time, you find comfort in the process of journaling.   I do.  Thank you for sharing a little bit of it with us.

Feb 26, 2020 11:06 AM #67
Rainer
36,362
Brad Bigelow
Century 21- Advantage Realty - Somerset, KY
Full-Time Lake Cumberland Area Property Specialist

I almost deleted this email but caught the word grief and journaling. My daughter died in a car wreck two weeks ago so I’m at the start of this journey with grief. But I do plan on journaling. Thanks for the reminder and sorry about your loss.

Feb 26, 2020 12:48 PM #68
Rainmaker
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John Marshall - FORE!
LoKation Real Estate - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

Richard Weeks very sorry for your loss, I believe journaling can be a wonderful outlet for many things. Years ago I read a book called Write it Down, Make it Happen, in fact I believe I wrote a book review here on the Rain at the time - it was a great book, but what was really wonderful was that I also discovered Journaling (did not even know that was what it was called) I just wrote every morning when I first woke up, that sparked so many ideas, emotions and even a book is coming from all that  writing - I wish you all the best, keep writing it is very therapeutic!

Feb 26, 2020 12:56 PM #69
Rainmaker
562,570
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

Such an emotional post!  You didn't focus on the negative though--you focused on the forward.  Glad you are enjoying the journaling.

Feb 27, 2020 04:55 PM #70
Rainmaker
1,505,323
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I'm so sorry for your loss....

 

p.s. Journaling is good for everyone. It is like a conversation with your brain;) 

Feb 28, 2020 01:10 AM #71
Rainmaker
1,000,158
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Wow!  So sorry to see this headline and hear about the loss of your wife.  It's good that you wrote this post.  Put your grief in print and as you write, journal on any aspect of what's on your mind. I used to write in a journal during the painful recovery of a divorce many years ago.  It was very helpful to write and see that in print.  The pen to paper is powerful!

Mar 01, 2020 02:50 PM #72
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Richard Weeks

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