What will you accomplish when fear can't stop you?

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Sandpoint rain@lakeandhomes.com SP36782

Last year I was asked to speak in front of a large group and afterwards several people congratulated me and told me how comfortable I looked up on stage.  It was funny because my perception was that my voice was cracking, hands shaking, and I couldn't read my notes, so I was winging it.   I also remember waiting behind a curtain with my heart racing and my feet stuck to the floor.  It felt like an hour to muster the courage to walk out on the stage.  I can’t even tell you what I was afraid of, this was a group of my peers, associates.  Even the worst failure would not be earth shattering, yet the fear was real.  



I heard a speech that I haven’t been able to forget.  It pointed out that you don’t live your life needing to be courageous all the time, you only need to be courageous for 20 seconds at a time.

That 20 seconds at a time when you walk up to a circle of strangers and introduce yourself,

       or pick up the phone to call a new prospect. 

The 20 seconds to walk out on a stage.

The 20 seconds to dive off the cliff into the water below.

The 20 seconds before you have a tough conversation.

The 20 seconds before you know it’s time to let someone go

    or that you need to say an unpopular NO.

That 20 seconds you ready yourself to jump out of the plane.



Each of those defining moments only takes 20 seconds of courage to break through the wall of fear.   Fear is the anticipation of the experience, not the experience itself.


Take the example of jumping from an airplane.  Seymour Epstein conducted an experiment where they monitored the heart rate of novice jumpers.  Their heart rates would get faster and faster until they jumped and then once they jumped from the plane their heart rates lowered quickly back to normal.  Now you would think the realty of free falling to earth would be get the heart pumping faster when it is the fear itself that makes our hearts race.


20 seconds


The next time you are facing something that scares you, try this.  Take a deep breath, clear your mind, run straight at it and know that you will break the wall of fear in less than 20 seconds. 

What will you accomplish when your fears can’t stop you? 

Posted by

Rain Silverhawk



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Rain Silverhawk Realtor
Keller Williams  Realty Coeur d' alene Sandpoint Idaho
120 S. Second Ave. |  Sandpoint, ID. 83864
Phone (208)  610-0011  



Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Barbara Todaro 03/05/2020 04:41 AM
ActiveRain Community
Idaho Bonner County
Blogging & SEO
Keller Williams Active Rain Bloggers
Coeur d'Alene and the Inland Northwest
Inspiration Station

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Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Rain Silverhawk - that is a great inspiration.  Step up when necessary.

Mar 05, 2020 08:19 AM #7
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Rain - wise words.  It's all about baby steps and the importance of constantly and consistently moving forward.  Even when it may be or seem difficult.  

Mar 05, 2020 08:42 AM #8
Rain Silverhawk
Keller Williams Sandpoint rain@lakeandhomes.com - Sandpoint, ID
208-610-0011 Sandpoint Idaho Real Estate Realtor

We are always learning and growing, Thanks for reading Michael Jacobs 

Mar 05, 2020 09:39 AM #9
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Rain- this is wonderful and when you think about it...if we can get past that 20 seconds, look at what we can accomplish!!!  

Mar 05, 2020 12:07 PM #10
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Rain Silverhawk - What a great post! You gave a lot to think about! Your first paragraph describing what you felt like on stage reminded me of the time I started Toastmasters. It's exactly how I felt when I stepped out on stage for my first contest (outside of my Club) and said the first line, then I froze. I looked at all the people and I was speechless. The President of the Club I belonged to stood up. He said, talk to me. So I started the speech again and only looked at him. I went over my time but I got through the speech. When he started to clap, everyone stood up and clapped too. Yes. I was disqualified but learned a lot from that experience too. It was a great moment.

Until now, I never heard of the 20 second rule. It sure is true! This line: "Fear is the anticipation of the experience, not the experience itself," was very impactful. Again, line after line, I learned something new and interesting about you too. Thank you for being a member of ActiveRain. 

I also like that you are utilizing the Groups. Have you ever thought of joining the BananaTude group? It was created by Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, GRI, WLS. You might want to read the guidelines and give it try. This post would be perfect for the group. I look forward to reading more of your posts. This one, was very insightful and motivating! 

Also, I love your name - Is that your birth name? It's terrific!


Mar 06, 2020 04:38 AM #11
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Mar 07, 2020 06:42 PM #12
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

First of all, what a great name you have. I love it, Rain. And I love this post too. We can all muster up 20 seconds of courage, can't we?  So happy to find this post via Kathy's Streib's weekly selection of posts.  D 

Mar 08, 2020 08:38 AM #13
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

Fear of contracting Covid19. Sick people are everywhere. Went to an open house within a mile there was a fireman who got it. I used to farm near a county hospital. That is the local CDC center. Making things worse they found 1500 bodies buried under the hosptial parking lot in shallow graves from the 1920s and forgot about it.

Mar 08, 2020 08:50 AM #14
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

When we came to California HIV(Aids) was the most common trasmitted disease. People wore masks.  Now we got this.


Mar 08, 2020 08:52 AM #15
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Love your story!  That first 20 seconds in your mind when you decide to get to work is very important too.  What will you tackle first, what will you avoid?  Thanks!

Mar 08, 2020 10:33 AM #16
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

20 seconds - that's good to know and remember!  And it makes total sense.

Mar 08, 2020 06:51 PM #17
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

I love this post, thank you for writing it Rain! Fear of speaking in large crowds can be debilitating for many people, especially the shy variety. Overcoming is the result of hard work!

Mar 09, 2020 07:29 AM #20
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Good to see you back on the platform, how did I miss this great post, so glad there are second chance posts:) So glad you got featured Rain... hope all is well, Endre

Mar 09, 2020 09:50 PM #21
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Wow. Great advice. I had not heard that 20 second quote before.

It won't make me jump out of a plane but then far less frightening things have stopped me in my tracks that it will help me with.

Mar 10, 2020 08:38 AM #22
Mimi Foster
Falcon Property Solutions - Colorado Springs, CO
Voted Colorado Springs Best Realtor

I absolutely love this: Fear is the anticipation of the experience, not the experience itself. I recognized a few years ago that it was a type of fear that made me not want to pick up the phone when a difficult client called or someone I didn't want to speak with. So much easier to just face it head on {after a deep breath }. I agree with Sharon Tara. It will never make me jump out of a plane, but this was a great post. Thank you.

Mar 10, 2020 03:49 PM #23
Raymond Henson, SRES, GRI
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA

I had never heard of the 20 second rule, but it sure does make a lot of sense.  There are some cliffs in the Tahoe area my buddies and I took turns jumping off.  I was the last to go.  The fear got to me and I started climbing down.  Strangers started encouraging me.  I turned around and stepped off, hit the water and my buddies and I scrambled back up the cliff many times that day.  What an awesome day!  Still, jumping out a plane is not on my to do list.  ;o)

Mar 14, 2020 07:53 AM #24
Christine Wade - Real Estate Virtual Assistant
Christine Wade - Townsend, MT
Proud to Serve Your Real Estate Support Needs

20 seconds? That's it? We can do anything for 20 seconds! Courage is not never being afraid, it's knowing your fear and doing it anyway...even if only for 20 seconds! That is empowering⭐️

Mar 14, 2020 09:31 AM #25
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good afternoon Rain. I think this is absolutely right. On ce you get about it.......all is good.

Mar 14, 2020 10:15 AM #26
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Rain:

I think this is a great way to put fear in perspective, for many different circumstances. Thank you.


Mar 15, 2020 11:32 AM #27
Dinah Stallworth-Lewis
Priority Real Estate LLC - 318.332.8281 - Natchitoches, LA


This is great information to help get through difficult situations.   I will defiinitely use this.  20 seconds can help us accomplish all our goals. 

Thanks for sharing.

Mar 15, 2020 10:38 PM #28
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208-610-0011 Sandpoint Idaho Real Estate Realtor
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