Is you askin' about the Jamaican Kush?

Real Estate Agent with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty

Dear Mr. Realtor-Knowledgey

Dear Readers.  I apologize for my barely noticable absence over the last... uh.... six - ten years.  I've been busy.  In the missing years, I've piled up a bunch of unanswered mail, so here are a few of those questions, and my responses.

Dear Mr. Realtor-knowledgey... Covid-19... What's the big deal, I haven't heard anything about it?

Dear Guy living under a rock: Really?  What have you been doing when that "Breaking News" banner runs across your television screen?  Covid-19 is the latest boy band with Justin Limberache.  They've been on all the late-night, and early-morning shows.
[uh... Mr. RK?  it's not a boy band]  {it's not??} [No... it's that pandemic virus]... {oh.... THAT Covid!}  Never mind.


Dear Mr. Realtor-knowledgey.  Since Open Houses are pretty much off the table, due to the Pandemic, what other tools do Realtor types suggest we use?

Dear For-Sale-by-Owner: I feel your pain, dude.  Open Houses are pretty much the only tool that FSBO's have in their arsenal.  But we "Realtor types" have other tools... we do lots and lots of Internet advertising... (yew, know... the place where everyone is hunting for properties?)... and I have my cousin Ernie wearing a sandwich board down at the corner of Lama and Mahzeh...  you know, with one of those crazy arrows that he swings around?  And I hand out glow-in-the-dark face masks with my name on them. That should oughta do the trick.


Dear Mr. Realtor-knowledgey... Why is the grass green?

Dear Medical Marijuana user: Iz you askin about the Jamaican Kush, or the Hosanna Hay? Or are you merely a CBD user?


Dear Mr. Realtor-knowledgey... What would you say to a big ugly guy in a dark bar, who's spoiling for a fight, when he says to you "I'm going to mop the floor with you!"

Dear Alcoholic: In an effort to diffuse his anger I would say: "Well, you'll be very unhappy, if you did that... you won't be able to clean into the corners very well". rimshot


Dear Mr. Realtor-knowledgey... Why is Betty White suddenly so popular again?

Dear Betty's neighbour: Betty White has never really gone out of style.  Why, you ask?  Because she is just so undeniably sexy.... growwwlll. (What?!)  Betty White for President!


Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Jameson Sotheby's International Realty, 2934 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
Office: 847.869.7300      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email:

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois



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Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

ok - I laughed out loud on this one - thanks for the chuckle this morning

Apr 13, 2020 07:29 AM #7
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Alan, so funny... I actually had to read the post twice LOL

Apr 13, 2020 08:26 AM #8
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

Corona is affecting us all...

Apr 13, 2020 08:41 AM #9
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Congratulations on your feature recognition.

Take care and have a very special week.

Apr 13, 2020 11:17 AM #10
Lauren Williams, CPO, CVO
Casual Uncluttering LLC - Woodinville, WA
Professional Organizer: Puget Sound homes

Alan May I've only ever "imbibed" smoked Kush or whatever twice in my entire life (once involuntarily, not a good day), and ate something once. Not in the least sure that you've convinced me to ever try again... Lauren

Apr 13, 2020 04:41 PM #11
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

5 years ago this might have gotten as much attention as a grocery list.  Thanks for the laugh today.

Apr 13, 2020 06:21 PM #12
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good evening Alan May ,

I knew from the title I was going to have a laugh. You crack me up..I do think you might be getting stir crazy from the quarantine.

Apr 13, 2020 07:17 PM #13
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Alan,

Lay off that second full pot of coffee, mon!

Apr 13, 2020 09:14 PM #14
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

That’s definitely a perspective to have in this case. Stay well and stay healthy because every little thing gonna be alright

Apr 13, 2020 11:11 PM #15
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

So just a friendly suggestion.... a little fresh air helps wonders!!

I'm with Laura Cerrano  Dont worry about a thing cause every little thing gonna be alright.... ya man.....


Apr 14, 2020 01:42 AM #16
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Thanks for the humour, you certainly come out of left field, sure you aren't testing some of the Jamaican Kush.

Apr 14, 2020 07:29 AM #17
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Alan:

As always you entertained us all with your post. And a well-deserved feature, too! Guess being shuttered in can be a good thing for creative and humorous writing.


Apr 14, 2020 09:24 AM #18
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Word from the bar Alchy,  it won't work.  He already knows you're a square.   rimshot  

Apr 14, 2020 07:02 PM #19
Susan McCall - - Compass Realty Solutions
Compass Realty Solutions - Portland, OR
Listing and Buyer's Agent

                   It’s all good


           Smile and be happy



Apr 14, 2020 09:07 PM #20
Erik Hiss
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Worthington, OH
You can trust me for all your real estate needs!

Thanks for the chuckle and greetings from Central Ohio!

Apr 15, 2020 08:32 AM #21
Anna Banana Kruchten Arizona's Top Banana!
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ

Great way to start my AR time Alan! Still laughing!  What fun you've brought to the rain.  We so need it these days!

Apr 15, 2020 09:30 AM #22
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

A variety of subject matter discussed today. Could have left out the virus mention. Funny ....

Apr 15, 2020 10:10 AM #23
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

Oh this was funny- gotta have a few laughs every day!

Apr 15, 2020 11:35 AM #24
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Enjoyable read. You can never go wrong including Betty White! LOL

Apr 18, 2020 07:27 AM #26
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

LOL!  Love it!  Anyone who hasn't heard of the virus is indeed under a rock.  NOt a good time to be FSBO either.  Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle!

Apr 20, 2020 10:55 AM #27
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Alan May

There's no place like home.
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