While taking my kids to soccer practice or to a doctor, I make sure to have my PC with me. Phones are banned in most of lobbies, so returning your calls is not an option. Yesterday, I forgot to take my PC and as a result I was sentenced to scanning through the magazines available in the lobby of my son’s doctor. I got my hands on the June issue of the Parenting Magazine and I started to read an article "about raising happy, confident kids”.
Before I could read the entire article, I got stuck on the fragment stating that "raising confident and happy and confident kids” is opposite to raising “people pleasers”. The difference in our approach to raising girls and boys was given as a “proof”. Authors gave the advice to discourage “maternal” instincts of girls to help them to become more confident and thus happier in their lives. I have to say that I was stun by the assertion that being too much of a “people pleaser” might prevent you from becoming happy. Do we have to shape our kids to become self confident jerks to enable them to become happy? I have a huge problem with this, I have to say.
So, I have a question to all of you. Do you think that being “kind” and “personable” makes it more difficult to be happy in life? Would you want your parents to discourage your “maternal” and “kind” instincts to help you become more confident? Do you think that it would make you happier today? Are these two features so completely opposite? I am really curious your thoughts on the subject. Is there a “golden” mix of “self-confidence” and “people pleasing” behavior that could make us happier?
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