Confidence in your power within

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Pareto Realty TN #251071

Confidence in your power within

The best coaches are those who have mastered the art of “Tough Love”

They “teach” us how to fish instead of giving us a fish.

It’s kinda like an “Intel Inside” thing . . . Humming along inside while being always present and invisible above the surface.

I have the word “Strategist” in my email signature block for a reason. I believe that all people have within them everything they need to do whatever needs to be done. It’s already baked in at birth. As a Coach/Mentor/Principal, the most egregious thing I could possibly do TO anyone asking my advice is to “should on them.”

When I consult with Home Buyers and Sellers and offer perspective and possible paths to moving things forward, I am VERY careful not to usurp my clients’ individual power by daring to enter the realm of making a decision on their behalf.

When I am coaching a Real Estate Professional facing a snag, hiccup, quandary, quagmire, or dealing with a completely irrational, egotistical, maniac, I always know that I, as a dis-engaged 3rd party, could ride up on my white stallion and save the day by taking over the negotiation . . . and I know this would be a disservice to everyone involved. If I were to take the reigns, the only learning that happens is the creation of dependency upon Barry to solve any and every issue that rears its ugly head.

I believe this dishonors the worth of the coachee.

Always better to offer wisdom . . . Simple things like – Take a deep breath – go for a short walk outside – change your mode of communication (from text to Voice or video or in-person meeting) – suppress your inclination to take offense at the other person’s escalating frustration – LISTEN and RESPOND rather than reacting.

All of the above is a good start – The coachee must do the rest all by her/him self.

This is magical because, at the end, the coachee can proudly declare:

“Look what I did!”

and I can then fade into the sunset . . .

 

 

Published by Barry Owen 

Strategist-CEO of Pareto Realty Real estate sales Professional Inviter-Facilitator-Practicer of Open Space Technology Opening safe space for people & organizations to self-organize around issues & opportunities BarryOwen.US Invite-Listen-Love 

Posted by

Barry Owen

Founder
Principal Broker
Pareto Realty
Nashville, TN

615.502.2080
www.paretorealty.co  
Call me: 615-568-2123
email me: barryo@comcast.net

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Simply & BOLDLY Living the FourFold Way in Open Space!

Quintessentially connected to the real estate industry to offer the ultimate experience for Home Buyers and Sellers in Middle Tennessee . . . Inquire within!

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Tags:
selfworth
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Rainmaker
1,815,256
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

Learning to fish is always better than just getting a single fish!  keep giving us good advice - we appreciate it

May 08, 2020 08:25 AM #1
Ambassador
4,156,353
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Barry- I love your way of thinking. This is also good advice for parenting. What you're doing is helping your "coachee" face what they will need to do. They have the tools, you're helping them realize they have them. 

May 08, 2020 07:02 PM #2
Rainmaker
2,718,807
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

"Always better to offer wisdom . . . Simple things like – Take a deep breath – go for a short walk outside – change your mode of communication (from text to Voice or video or in-person meeting) – suppress your inclination to take offense at the other person’s escalating frustration – LISTEN and RESPOND rather than reacting." 

I love those concepts!

May 09, 2020 01:32 PM #3
Rainmaker
2,718,807
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

CONGRATULATIONS Barry, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!  

May 09, 2020 01:34 PM #4
Ambassador
4,156,353
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

May 09, 2020 07:08 PM #5
Rainmaker
5,322,086
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Good morning, Barry Owen this post is filled with sage advice.... and I'll take every bit of that advice and follow it.... it's easy to have the tendency to say "should".... hmmmm

May 10, 2020 04:37 AM #6
Rainmaker
852,108
Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

Great Post Barry Owen 

A good coach will see the potential and pull it out by finding a path of development for the one being coached.

May 10, 2020 08:08 AM #7
Rainmaker
2,130,707
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good afternoon Barry Owen - your coaching approach is similar to mine.  People have it inside of them.  We help bring it to the surface so that they can solve their own problems.

May 10, 2020 09:24 AM #8
Rainmaker
903,780
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

Great post, so true, our manager when ever you come to her with an issue will nearly always ask, what does the contract say, making you find the answer yourself. 

May 11, 2020 06:29 AM #9
Rainer
496,665
Kimo Jarrett
WikiWiki Realty - Huntington Beach, CA
Pro Lifestyle Solutions

Insightful, however, I disagree, having been coached and a coach teaching the coachee as you stated. Great coaches are hard to find and there are many coaches who shouldn't be coaching, now , you would agree with that, wouldn't you? 

The same could be said of teachers, parents, bosses, supervisors and trainers regardless of their circumstances. The most difficult task for a coach is to change the attitude, behavior and learned tasks of the coachee. Difficult but not impossible, however, without mentors in any profession, life would be tolerable but very difficult to reach optimal ceilings.  

May 12, 2020 08:25 PM #10
Rainmaker
1,600,861
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I agree, and I love the phrase "Don't should on me." If I ever saw a bumper sticker that said that, I'd buy it!

May 12, 2020 09:11 PM #11
Rainmaker
1,008,826
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

It's important as you say not to direct clients in any one direction, but advise them on the basics.  

May 14, 2020 11:58 AM #12
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