Dealing with Disappointment and Super Shitty Days

Services for Real Estate Pros with Transaction Management Consultants

There have been more than a few days over the years that I have wanted to give up this crazy rollercoaster ride of entrepreneurialism running a transaction coordinator company.


There was the time my website was under attack here at the Transaction Coordinator Academy – really, it was. For some reason, a computer bot was trying to login and they were making 100 or so attempts in just seconds. This much traffic to our little site was more than it could handle, and it would shut down. Of course like most of us with websites, we don’t know it’s down until someone tells us, like a client trying to log in or make a purchase, ugh! – or until we’re heading over to the site to do some work to it. Finally, with the help of my team, we managed to stop the attacks and, knock on wood, the site hasn’t crashed in a very long time.


Then there was the time a competitor thought a great way to drum up business for their Transaction Coordinator company was to reach out to my clients. How, you may ask? Well, she sent a private message to each person on Facebook who left a testimonial for my company. Her private message to them went something along the lines of – I see you’re familiar with what a transaction coordinator can do for your business – she went on to say that she was confident she could beat my prices and provide extras. Thankfully, I have some pretty awesome clients who quickly let me know of this and also let her know they were not interested.


Oh, and another was receiving a call from my banker to let me know my account was mysteriously overdrawn by $4,000 (I wrote about that here).


I have had employees quit in the middle of the day leaving a mess. I have had phone systems crash and us not be able to make or receive calls for days. I have had a team member’s husband call me on a Monday morning to tell me one of our beloved transaction coordinators had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Hurricanes, tragic auto accidents on the way to closing, and even lenders who ceased operations in the 2008 housing meltdown the day of closing when three buyers were set to sign and move into new condos.


I could go on and on, but I won’t – because each day something horrible happened, each day I was challenged and tested to a point I wasn’t sure I could handle, something awesome also happened. Random checks I had long since thought I’d never be able to collect on magically showed up in the mail. Clients left kind words on my voice mail to tell me how happy they were with the services my team provides and gave us bonuses. A new client signs up, from out of nowhere and without anything more than a quick conversation about the fees and sends over several new contracts. A knock at the door and a dozen long stem roses are delivered by an agent thanking me for helping her get 3 transactions to the closing table all on the same Friday.


transaction coordinator business

It is easy to get bogged down with all the negativity in life, I think it’s even easier to do so with our businesses. After all there is a lot of folks trying to tell us how easy it is if we just buy their 5-Step Formula, BARF!! So, if it’s not all roses and fat bank accounts while sipping a fruity drink at the beach we must be doing something wrong, right? I say, heck no! Being in business is tough, there is no doubt about it, but it is also ever so rewarding. Most of us sadly focus on what we need to fix, far less than we focus on all the amazing things we have done. So, to plan ahead for one of those days where you think you just can’t do this anymore, I encourage you to make a brag book. This is not something to share with anyone, just a journal or even a document on your computer where you can write down celebrations. I bet you have a few right now in your head, you have forgotten about that have happened just this week. Your brag book is a place where you can record your wins, and the challenges you have overcome, where you can celebrate small milestones and huge accomplishments. It’s not where your grammar or punctuation need to be perfect, it just needs to be legible.


Then, the next time you have one of those super shitty days, you know the ones – before quitting, open up your brag book. Start reading all the things you have written – all the things you’ve done, the challenges you’ve overcome, the wins and celebrations. I bet you an expensive cup of fancy coffee from Starbucks you will immediately be in a different place emotionally and energetically. Will it make the super shitty situation go away, probably not, but it will give you the superpower you need to get through this, like all the other things you have gotten through before.


Go ahead, make that book, brag to yourself as often as possible and let me know how it goes.


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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Hi Michelle- what an excellent idea. It's easy to get bogged down in all of the negative things that happen to us...or surround us!  It's good to focus on positive things in your life. 

Jun 03, 2020 07:17 PM #4
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Jun 06, 2020 07:15 PM #5
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Good morning, Michelle Spalding no matter how horrible the day may seem, there's always a silver lining.... just keep plugging along....

Jun 07, 2020 04:27 AM #6
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

I believe that you can always choose to be happy.  You can choose to be proud of your accomplishments

Jun 07, 2020 04:52 AM #7
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Michelle Spalding ,

Its so much better to focus on the positive every day! I like your suggestion to combat those negative times we all experience. I'm so glad that Kathy Streib featured your post in her "Ah-ha" moments for the week!

Jun 07, 2020 05:14 AM #8
Nina Hollander
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Good morning, Michelle... we've all had days like that and sometimes weeks like that! I've learned to give myself a 15 minute pity party and then move on.

Jun 07, 2020 05:43 AM #9
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

This is great advice. Something we can all use right now. Looking for the good to overcome the bad is a wonderful super power!

Jun 07, 2020 06:11 AM #10
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Such good advice. I like the superpower analogy. Like Nina, I look for a lesson or message and then move on quickly. There’s so much in life to appreciate.

Jun 07, 2020 06:28 AM #11
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hello Michelle - accentuate the positive....    I recall seeing your post title as it showed on the blog roll of ActiveRain and am glad Kathy Streib included it in he weekly post of what she learned this week so I didn't miss it again.  

Jun 07, 2020 07:23 AM #12
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

I love this idea. Having a book of things that went well ready for review at any moment could definitely keep our spirtis up.

Jun 07, 2020 07:41 AM #13
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Hi Michelle Spalding, we all have those days, good thing is, they don't always start out and end that way. 

Jun 07, 2020 09:29 AM #14
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Michelle Spalding -  stuff happens for sure and we have to deal with it but I try to look for the positive in everything.

Jun 07, 2020 10:04 AM #15
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

What a great suggestion you made here, Michelle. Our "brag book" can help turn those days around. 

Jun 07, 2020 07:37 PM #16
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Michelle I was getting depressed reading about your trials and tribulations... just to be clear, the Airborne Ranger Infantry Captain in me believes in Perseverance and driving through all negativity until positive success is achieved, Endre

Jun 08, 2020 12:01 AM #17
Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

I think we all experience this type of day from time to time Michelle Spalding and, I think it's all a test to see how we react.  

Jun 08, 2020 12:13 PM #18
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


I think these are great suggestions. We have have those days, not just in business. Even when things go wrong there is plenty to be grateful for and know what we have accomplished. Thanks for the reminder!


Jun 08, 2020 02:44 PM #19
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

I have an email file entitled "Nice things people say." If I'm having a down day I go look at those nice things.

Back when my husband was building custom homes and I had a real estate agency the bank called one day to tell me our construction account was $23,000 overdrawn. After the initial scare, I realized it was OK - I had just deposted a construction draw in the wrong account. The bank very kindly moved the funds for me and didn't charge for the overdraft.

Jun 09, 2020 08:05 PM #22
Gwen Fowler-864-916-2019 SC Mountains Lakes Homes
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc - Salem, SC
Gwen Fowler Real Estate, Inc.

Life happens, some days more than others.  I love the idea of a brag book, my journal works as that but some days it is just a place to dump all the problems.

Jun 10, 2020 05:52 AM #23
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

That was a catchy headline!  Some of the problems you described--people quitting, having health problems--that's exactly why I would not want to be the boss of many people. Can be big rewards but problems as well.  I admire your attitude--must remember the good stuff!

Jun 10, 2020 12:05 PM #24
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 702-574-8102

Michelle, A great story about embracing and turning the challenges to the shining and finding the silver lining.  Attitude is everything.

Jun 11, 2020 07:33 AM #25
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