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Elderly transitioning and getting it sold...

By
Real Estate Agent with EAST KEY REALTY 055450

In the last couple of years I was inimately involved in the transitioning of BOTH of my (late) parents to assisted living homes.  In the case of my father, whom suffered with advanced late stage dementia this stay was short lived, but it gave my (then) 89 year old mother the peace of mind to feel more comfort in letting home care helpers into their house to care (at last) for her, a move she had rejected because she wanted to be the sole caretaker for my dad, but which her children insisted on because their situation of "living as usual" was not entirely safe for them and frankly she needed help. 

So we got her help. Interviewed many, finally chose the most flexible group we could find...Even so, these workers would come and she would be escorting them to the door because she wanted to care for my dad herself, despite her age and despite that she herself was not the picture of health. 

Eventually there were falls on the part of my dad and after a couple of time when I came over to pick him off the floor, as was bound to happen, there was that time where the police were called by my mom and they came and got him situated again.  Things were getting dangerous. 

Finally, it happened that the ambulance was called because the police could not continue to be placed in this awkward position...in short, it was not their job.  Once the ambulance came and took him to the hospital for evaluation, then the social workers (Medicare/Medicaid)were called and upon his return to the home the appointed therapist came (for my mom)-that went over like a lead baloon-, the managing case social worker came, the home nurse came...all to my mother's chagrin and dismay.  The Irish theatrical came out and never before have I felt so guilty! My parent's both, but my mom especially, viewed this as an intrusion and she had this unique ability to delude herself that everything was alright again, despite the history of it all.  Eventaully, they found a routine again, and we kids (grown up ourselves and resisting the temptation to fall into childhood patterns ourselves) allowed a transition to home helpers that came to visit, ones that we hired as opposed to the ones the State had sent. 

Working with the elderly in late life transitions is trying at best.  One must have patience and understand that the "client" is actually many "clients"...there is extended family each with their own agendas whom may have drastically different ideas about how best to take care of mom and dad.  There is also the point at which the traditional roles of parents to offspring goes upside down where the offspring become the parents and directing forces and decisions need to be made, and advocacy chains of command must be established between siblings so that hospital bureacracy does not overwhelm...POA's, wills, trusts, DNR orders...all must be reviewed.  It is very easy for mom and dad to get lost in the shuffle.  Prescriptions seem to mount, this pill, that pill, too may pills...

So oftentimes there needs to be a home sold in order to raise the funds to pay for an assisted living or nursing home...that is where getting a REALTOR that has been through the process, one that has made the cirular trip from nursing home to hospital to rehad back to nursing home/assisted living home, one that has sensitivity to the family issues that may be involved...  You REALLY need to think it through.

When it comes time for the house to be sold, I harken back to the seven deadly sins of buyers and sellers, especially items 1 through 3.  These are the first important steps in any listing and marketing effort...in elderly transitioning, the management and understanding of whom the principals are is foremost...oftentimes THEY need a guide, one whom is versed in the process and one whom knows when to delegate or suggest that other experts be brought in, experts such as tax advisors, elderly in-home care groups, estate sale groups, final clean-up of the home before listing outfits, cleaning experts...there has to be a plan!

Similarly there has to be a plan in marketing to best position to achieve what MAY need to be a quick sale or rental of mom and dad's house.  With best positioning under multiple Internet media (webpages, video exposure, over 100 sites and portals...and affiliated with NH's top company, www.popesays.com through www.virtualhomes.com , I feel I am very well qualified to help you get this maze sorted out.

 

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Charlie Ragonesi
AllMountainRealty.com - Big Canoe, GA
Homes - Big Canoe, Jasper, North Georgia Pros

Really an awesome responsibility and a wonderful post . We will all be there some day

Jun 14, 2008 04:37 AM
Anonymous
kranny

Please tell me what services you offered Buddy, to the people needing to sell their home before transitioning?

Sep 16, 2009 09:27 AM
#2
Buddy Pope
EAST KEY REALTY - Bedford, NH
THE POPE OF REALTY

We would do a free market analysis and provide the data to support our pricing recommendations.  From there we would go about finding the right agent to handle the listing.  As I have lots of experience in dealing with the family issues involved and I have a friendly relationship with the Assisted Living facility director, I would be eminantly qualified to take the listing myself. The facility itself has their own arrangements for financing arrangements and would be happy to talk to you after I do an up front screening. The possibility of a reverse mortgage on the current home may need to be investigated also.  There are also concerns (and I can out you in touch with the right legal folks) that powers of attorney for medical and finance directives are set up ahead of time as well as a will and possibly a living trust to help avoid probate if that is of concern. The legal stuff is not my specialty as I am not a lawyer, but I am very connected with the right team of folks here in NH. If there is equity in the home a home equity loan might be considered and THEN AFTER the loan was secured, the house could be put on the market.  The home equity loan proceeds could be drawn upon to gain entry into the facility and then the home would be sold and remaining equity after payoffs could be used and simultaneously invested in income yielding safe investments as your investment counselor sees fit. Sometimes family needs to be brought in to help with financing or guaranteurs of funding after the equity runs out. The house would obviously need to be priced correctly to sell in today's market, but that is my forte- pricing to sell but leaving nothing on the table.  I am not sure of your particular interest, but please feel free to call me at 603-562-5186 and we can make arrangements for a friendly no pressure tour of the facility and a chance to meet the staff and director.  That is the first step.  My own mother whom resisted assisted living with every fiber of her body was loving it after 1 month, but would not admit that for 3 months, but finally she did admit it loud and clear..."Why didn't you put me here sooner?"  ARRRRGHHH!!

Sep 16, 2009 10:23 AM