Listen with both Ears on

I have been working at this myself for the last couple of years. A trick I read is to actually put a finger on your lips when listening, somehow it keeps you from just blurting out, and that second delay allows you to keep listening. To more listened to conversations and understanding.

I have to remember to stop myself from butting in and adding my two cents. My two cents isn't always necessary or meaningful to the conversation, I just tell my self: shut up and listen. Basic advice but so critical to our work.

It's so important to listen first to what others are saying -really listen.  Weve had a couple agents along the way that talked talked talked non-stop and clients couldn't get an edge into the conversations.  They moved on to another firm.  People want to know you care about their wants and needs - and not all about yourself.

It does take practice to be a good listener. I am still working on it, but I really found out how important it was when my 3 sons were little. I made every effort to be 100% attentive to them when they spoke to me, no distractions, I would put down whatever I was doing and focus on their needs. 25 years later it has really helped me as a managing broker, I often find that agents, and people in general just want someone to listen to them, and many times agents will come to a great conclusion themselves just by hearing themselves ask the questions. In fact one of my agents today called and said, I just need someone else to hear what I am thinking, at the end of the call, he had made a very good decision on how to proceed.  I am still learning to be a great listener, but I have learned so much by keeping my mouth shut.

There was a quote out there somewhere that says "you never learn anything when you are doing all the talking"

Listening is something that takes a lifetime to improve (at least for me). Thank you for this great point!

Great post Tim!  When we pause to listen, we often get the information we need, we just need to let folks talk.  We often see others when we are talking, and they can't wait to talk!  Their lips are starting to move and you know they aren't listening!!

Dear Tim,

Sounds like the extrovert's dilemma, but good advice for all of us to be mind more. If you listen, you might learn something useful.

I'm a bit of a square peg in a round hole in this regard, Tim L. Ramey ... as I've been known to say that it actually "hurts to talk".  I'm better than I used to be out of necessity, as I'm a Lender and in conversation all day/night long.  But I so appreciate your message.  I sometimes fear that I will overlook sharing important information, so even for a "non-talker" I can probably talk a bit more than I should at times when I really need to be listening too.  It's a fine line ...

Gene  

Tim, this is good advice indeed.  And you are so right - so many of us listen, but listen for the smallest pause so we can butt in.

Great advice, sadly more people talk than listen and in all fairness it is beneficial to us who listen, Endre

The sponge analogy is good.  Listening to try to understand what someone is really thinking, rather than saying, is vital to getting to 'go'.  Thanks

Listening is CRITICAL if you want to help people. You can't understand what people want and/or need when your mouth is open!

Great post & so true about many especially in real estate. Their over-caffeinated mouth goes 24/7. Listening is a tough skill for many. I do like the sponge analogy & will try to remember it.

Hi Tim:

Well said - listening is essential, and I bet it's always appreciated by those who are listened to. Some have little idea about listening and only listen to thmselves talking. This is a well-deserved feature!

Jeff

This is so important--it is vital to listen, FOCUS on what's being said and do not interuppt!  I get so irritated when I am interuppted--it's a habit that many people seem to have. Just listening is a real compliment to the speaker

Tim, Listen with both ears is a good description of "Active Listening," a sales training course.

Hi Tim L. Ramey - it takes real effort to listen with both ears we call that active listening.

What a wonderful post, Tim.  Listening with BOTH ears is something that all of us have to work on. And, you're right, often we're half-listening and half thinking about what we're going to say next. The best gift we can give to someone is to listen with both of our ears. 

I use the same analogy of the sponge, especially if new to the job, task, etc.

I am there to learn , listen and comprehend their thought processes, NOT to form opinions on anything.