Listen with both Ears on

Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Realty
It is so easy to talk.  Open your mouth and magically words appear.  Sometimes we don't have to turn on the brain.  For many of us, the toughest part of the communication process is to simply be quiet and listen, actively focusing on, paying attention to, and truly hearing what the other person is trying to say. 
For those of us who really like to talk, this can be a very difficult thing to do.  Many times when I am involved in a conversation, I must remind myself when it is time to listen.  Instead of being concerned about what I will say next, I tell myself to stop worrying about myself and be patient and concerned enough about the other person to listen to them with both ears.  
A little trick I have learned to heap me listen better is to pretend that I am a "dried up" sponge in the bottom of the kitchen sink.  Each word spoken is absorbed into my being like a drop of water from the faucet soaks a sponge.  This helps me to process the information I am hearing, so I can play it back to the person speaking, confirming I have heard them.  You can imagine the harmony and good will that results.  
May I encourage you to start listening with BOTH ears as I am attempting to do?  There are a number of great benefits that come from making a commitment like this.  You will probably learn something you didn't know, and your attentiveness will cause others to feel good about themselves.  Listening minimizes miscommunication, thus saving you time, and even a headache or two.  Of course the biggest benefit of listening is improved relationships!
If you really desire more harmony and good will in your life as a result of improved communications, I urge you to join me in my endeavor to listen more and speak less.  And be sure that you are listening with BOTH EARS~Bob P.
May your day and week be filled with improved listening skills, and many blessings.
All the best,



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  1. Joe Jackson 09/14/2020 11:39 AM
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Chris Ivy
Ivy Vine Investments - Memphis, TN
Sell Your House Fast For Cash In Memphis Tennessee

This was a really good post Tim!  I like the title and I just unclogged my left ear so I can use both of them now.

Sep 14, 2020 12:04 PM #4
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

I have been working at this myself for the last couple of years. A trick I read is to actually put a finger on your lips when listening, somehow it keeps you from just blurting out, and that second delay allows you to keep listening. To more listened to conversations and understanding.

Sep 14, 2020 12:16 PM #5
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

I have to remember to stop myself from butting in and adding my two cents. My two cents isn't always necessary or meaningful to the conversation, I just tell my self: shut up and listen. Basic advice but so critical to our work.

Sep 14, 2020 02:19 PM #6
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker, Instructor
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ

It's so important to listen first to what others are saying -really listen.  Weve had a couple agents along the way that talked talked talked non-stop and clients couldn't get an edge into the conversations.  They moved on to another firm.  People want to know you care about their wants and needs - and not all about yourself.

Sep 14, 2020 02:38 PM #7
John Marshall - FORE!
LoKation Real Estate - Cherry Hills Village, CO
Specializing in Golf Course Properties

It does take practice to be a good listener. I am still working on it, but I really found out how important it was when my 3 sons were little. I made every effort to be 100% attentive to them when they spoke to me, no distractions, I would put down whatever I was doing and focus on their needs. 25 years later it has really helped me as a managing broker, I often find that agents, and people in general just want someone to listen to them, and many times agents will come to a great conclusion themselves just by hearing themselves ask the questions. In fact one of my agents today called and said, I just need someone else to hear what I am thinking, at the end of the call, he had made a very good decision on how to proceed.  I am still learning to be a great listener, but I have learned so much by keeping my mouth shut.

There was a quote out there somewhere that says "you never learn anything when you are doing all the talking"

Sep 14, 2020 02:45 PM #8
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667,, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Listening is something that takes a lifetime to improve (at least for me). Thank you for this great point!

Sep 15, 2020 05:07 AM #9
Shirley Coomer
Keller Williams Realty Sonoran Living - Phoenix, AZ
Realtor, Keller Williams Realty, Phoenix Az

Great post Tim!  When we pause to listen, we often get the information we need, we just need to let folks talk.  We often see others when we are talking, and they can't wait to talk!  Their lips are starting to move and you know they aren't listening!!

Sep 15, 2020 05:21 AM #10
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Tim,

Sounds like the extrovert's dilemma, but good advice for all of us to be mind more. If you listen, you might learn something useful.

Sep 15, 2020 07:15 AM #11
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

I'm a bit of a square peg in a round hole in this regard, Tim L. Ramey ... as I've been known to say that it actually "hurts to talk".  I'm better than I used to be out of necessity, as I'm a Lender and in conversation all day/night long.  But I so appreciate your message.  I sometimes fear that I will overlook sharing important information, so even for a "non-talker" I can probably talk a bit more than I should at times when I really need to be listening too.  It's a fine line ...


Sep 15, 2020 02:11 PM #12
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Tim, this is good advice indeed.  And you are so right - so many of us listen, but listen for the smallest pause so we can butt in.

Sep 15, 2020 02:41 PM #13
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Great advice, sadly more people talk than listen and in all fairness it is beneficial to us who listen, Endre

Sep 15, 2020 08:45 PM #14
John Henry, Florida Architect
John Henry Masterworks Design International, Inc. - Orlando, FL
Residential Architect, Luxury Custom Home Design

The sponge analogy is good.  Listening to try to understand what someone is really thinking, rather than saying, is vital to getting to 'go'.  Thanks

Sep 16, 2020 04:00 AM #15
Erik Hiss
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Worthington, OH
You can trust me for all your real estate needs!

Listening is CRITICAL if you want to help people. You can't understand what people want and/or need when your mouth is open!

Sep 16, 2020 06:22 AM #16
Tim L. Ramey
Coldwell Banker Realty - Cottage Grove, MN

That is so very true Erik.  What is the best email for you pleaes?  Mine is  when you have clients thinking Minnesota-think Team Ramey and allow me to put my over 25 years of full time Real Estate experience to work for them...AND upon a successful closing, recieve a 33.3% referral chk! 

Sep 16, 2020 12:40 PM #17
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

Great post & so true about many especially in real estate. Their over-caffeinated mouth goes 24/7. Listening is a tough skill for many. I do like the sponge analogy & will try to remember it.

Sep 17, 2020 05:45 AM #18
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Tim:

Well said - listening is essential, and I bet it's always appreciated by those who are listened to. Some have little idea about listening and only listen to thmselves talking. This is a well-deserved feature!


Sep 17, 2020 07:49 AM #19
Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes - Kansas City, MO
Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area

This is so important--it is vital to listen, FOCUS on what's being said and do not interuppt!  I get so irritated when I am interuppted--it's a habit that many people seem to have. Just listening is a real compliment to the speaker

Sep 17, 2020 07:51 AM #20
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 702-574-8102

Tim, Listen with both ears is a good description of "Active Listening," a sales training course.

Sep 18, 2020 08:14 AM #21
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Tim L. Ramey - it takes real effort to listen with both ears we call that active listening.

Sep 18, 2020 11:36 AM #22
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

What a wonderful post, Tim.  Listening with BOTH ears is something that all of us have to work on. And, you're right, often we're half-listening and half thinking about what we're going to say next. The best gift we can give to someone is to listen with both of our ears. 

Sep 19, 2020 02:04 PM #23
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Tim L. Ramey

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