pet peeve...

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX EDGE

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sees a child behaving well and they look at the parent's of that child and say, "You're so lucky to have such a good kid."

 

No! They're not LUCKY, blessed maybe, but don't diminish the time and effort that that parent puts into their child by labeling it luck.  When I see a child who is well behaved, picks up after themselves, listens to his/her parents, etc, I think, "Wow, they not only put the time in to teach that child right from wrong but they also have modeled the behavior themselves and also had the strength to follow through with disciplining their child when it was needed." 

 

Disciplining your child is almost never fun for either of you but it's a necessity.  If you want to develop true leadership qualities within your child you need to be able to follow through on threats and promises.  Your child will never learn the difference between an empty threat and consequences of their actions unless you yourself have the discipline to take action against unwanted behavior.

 

It's so easy to reward good behavior, no one denies that; neither does anyone deny the difficulty in following through with correction of undesirable behavior, but BOTH need to happen.

 

If you never rewarded your child for their good behavior, you're child would probably stop doing the good things and move to the less desirable actions because at least then you're showing them some attention. 

 

If you are just continually yelling or demanding for an action/ bad behavior to stop but never follow it up with anything concrete for your child to understand why that behavior is unacceptable, they have no reason to quit.  They'll just keep testing you until you essentially lose your mind.  By saying, "If you do that one more time and I'm going to..." but never actually follow through then not only are you proving yourself weak to your child but you're also showing them that THEY are in control and essentially you're a liar because you're not doing what you say you're going to do.

 

As parents, if we want to be the "LUCKY" one's with the well behaved children we need to ACT on our words, SET definite boundaries, be UNWAIVERING (don't send mixed signals to your child) in discipline and rewards and most importantly MODEL the behavior that we want our children to possess.

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Rainer
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Keith Zimmer
RE/MAX Results - Saint Louis, MO

I could not agree more with you. i think more people should say things like " you have taught your children well they are polite and respectible" instead of you Lucky. I also admire the parents of young ones that are acting up at, say a resturant, That will take the kid away from the table to a privite location an teach him how to act instead of leting the kid run lose distubing others or making a bigger sceane scolding the kid there.

 

Keith Zimmer St. Louis Mo.

http://www.keithzimmer.com

Mar 10, 2007 05:06 PM #1
Rainer
19,593
Kristie Weber
RE/MAX EDGE - Saint Charles, MO
thanks Keith , I am proud not LUCKY?   just venting, thanks for the reply...
Mar 12, 2007 10:16 AM #2
Ambassador
1,485,851
Jim Crawford
Crye-Leike REALTORS® - Atlanta, GA
Jim Crawford Atlanta Best Listing Agents & REALTOR

Luck has nothing to do with it!  LOL!  I'd rather someone would tell me "You are so lucky to have hit the Powerball Lottery for 350 million dollars!"  Thats luck!  The other is love, patience, discipline, the power of example, and letting your children know you care!  Sure beats the term "Bless their hearts!"  When the kids are tearing up the place!

 

Mar 12, 2007 10:56 AM #3
Rainer
51,935
Christina Ethridge
The North Idaho Dream Team powered by SKE Realty Group - Coeur d'Alene, ID
I agree - it's rather like saying, the norm is misbehaved children, your child isn't normal.  Pretty pathetic.  Too bad people don't know what discipline means - perhaps it's because they weren't discplined themselves and DONT KNOW WHAT DISCIPLINE is - laziness is what it is really.
Mar 12, 2007 11:45 AM #4
Rainer
9,121
Jim Beardsley
Keller Williams Realty West - Saint Charles, MO
ONce I was finished with raising my kids, I got a dog! Ahhhhhhhhh .........
Mar 12, 2007 04:17 PM #5
Rainer
19,593
Kristie Weber
RE/MAX EDGE - Saint Charles, MO

HEHEHE

I coudnt agree more Jim Crawford....  Yes Christina, or it could be the fear for their children not likeing  them because of discpline ...  i see kids walk all over their parents and it seams as if they take it,, well I am here to say I wont... My child loves me for it and he will live a better life for it..I only have one and he is 16 and I still have full tabs on his where abouts , i need  them....  He is very close to us and i dont want him to fade from that, so I let him know by , making him clean his room, doing his laundry, helping on home projects, and no back talk and I reward him for those things.... with the things he wants...just ingeneral involvemnet with the family is good for  them.... and it is "not" a request it is a do with out being told to do so .....tecquniqe..

thanks for the imput, I really appericate it....  any age Kids are a full time job.... 

 Jim B...My dog doesent listen as well as my son....LOL

Mar 16, 2007 06:46 AM #6
Rainer
233,668
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC
AMEN!!!!   GOOD POST! I am for raising children... they MUST be TRAINED!  As a property management company... i sometimes have to help raise the children of the tenants - since they aren't!!!  I take my belt with me and tell the kids.....BEND OVER!  I know you've done something!!!  (I give the parents the eye which tells them '"be quiet! - you haven't done it so i will!!)
Mar 18, 2007 04:01 AM #7
Rainer
19,593
Kristie Weber
RE/MAX EDGE - Saint Charles, MO

wow , Diane, I like you, your forwardness is refreshing!

I don't believe in tip toe-ing thru parenting.,... stand firm on your little ones, otherwise life will hurt them.....

Mar 18, 2007 04:17 AM #8
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