Why commitment matters

Industry Observer with Justine Mfulama

Commitment. We all want to be in a relationship where the other person commits to us. For women it makes them feel chosen and appreciated and for men, it makes them feel safe and needed. 


But why does commitment matter? 


Because the truth is, in today’s dating culture more and more people are reluctant to it. With online dating, presenting a plethora of options, many men and women choose to stay unclaimed.


As a relationship coach, I have seen first hand what that means to my clients. It means increased anxiety and worries, and less enjoyment and growth. 


Believe it or not, but commitment is what makes a relationship enjoyable. Don’t believe me? Well, in this article I present three reasons why commitment matters. But first, let’s look into what commitment really means.



According to vocabulary.com commitment means: "Making a commitment involves dedicating yourself to something, like a person or a cause."  


Essentially what this means is that in relationships both people make a more or less public statement that they signed up for the role of boyfriend or girlfriend. And that they will do what they are expected to do in these roles. 


That is important because, without a commitment, a relationship has no boundaries in which it functions, which means neither can be held accountable if something goes wrong.


Therefore without a commitment, there is no relationship.


And I get it, it can be hard to make a man commit without pressure. But when a relationship lacks commitment, it’s only a matter of time until things turn sour. 


Women will oftentimes find themselves in a situationship and realize that they have developed feelings for the man and now yearn for more. 


But it’s not just feelings that trigger the desire for commitment.


1. Security

Feeling secure in a relationship is important for the health and growth of the relationship. 


Knowing that you can rely on the other person and truly let yourself go when you are around them. This is only possible when the couple commits to each other and both parties know where they stand with each other. 


2) More intimacy

It is well-known that trust fosters intimacy, but what fosters trust? 


The answer is commitment. 


We are more inclined to share important parts of ourselves, such as fears, dreams, and challenges with a person we trust. 


Committing to someone means you are willing to take the relationship and the other person serious, meaning you promise them monogamy and fidelity which allows them to offer you greater intimacy, knowing that their heart is safe with you. 


3) Shared experiences

As mentioned above, commitment leads to greater trust and intimacy. And with that comes the courage and desire to share your lives with each other. 


A couple that is committed will want to involve their partner in their experiences. Introduce them to friends and family and go on vacation together. But that’s reserved for boyfriends/girlfriends only.


In conclusion, it becomes clear that commitment matters when couples desire to move the relationship forward. It presents a safe playing field for couples to grow together and build. 


As counter-intuitive as it may seem, commitment is a beautiful thing that will help you unlock real love. 

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