5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Be Unapologetically YOU!
John Maxwell is one of my favorite motivators - his thoughts inspire me to be not only a better businesswoman but, a better person. One of my favorite books written by John Maxwell, is Good Leaders Ask Great Questions. One of the questions he was asked and subsequently answered pertaining to leadership, “How does an emerging leader establish leadership confidence without affirmation?”
He reflected in his answer that he stopped comparing himself to others. His response made me think about several people I know who have stopped participating in social media altogether in recent years. Most of them say that they can’t stand that everyone seems to live ‘perfect’ lives, have the best children in the world, the most amazing marital relationship and the best cars, clothing, housing, etc.
I think in this era, social media is sadly, a necessary evil. We are all challenged by it in one way, shape or form at one time or another. Some of us are challenged by it all of the time - we just don’t show it! Comparing yourself to others is something that, according to Thomas Mussweiler, a German psychologist, is natural. The social comparison theory is REAL and we can all fall into the pitfall of comparison. It is a key element that we use as a protective measure to assess perceived threats. "Inevitably, we relate information about others to ourselves. It's one of the most basic ways we develop an understanding of who we are, what we're good at, and what we're not so good at.”
Tired of making comparisons and agonizing over whether your home compares to Chip & Joanna Gaines, your attire compares to Kate Middleton or your life compares to someone you ‘idolize?’
Here are 5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others:
1. Focus on your strengths - Jot down 5 things that YOU really like about yourself, your strengths or characteristics that others often say about you.
2. Celebrate your friends on social media - don’t compare yourself, celebrate THEM! In real estate, we learn to be our clients biggest cheerleaders. Go beyond that with your friends and enthusiastically cheer for them when they post something that they are happy about. Chances are they are not bragging - they are simply expressing their happiness, for the world to read. Share in their joy!
3. Compete with YOU, not THEM - In our business, we should all have written business plans and goals. Spend your energy competing with yourself, your own goals…re-write your goals if you need to, as often as you need to.
4. Limit your social media time - If the comparison to others is driving you crazy, take a break or limit your time online, gradually stepping back in as you see fit. If there is someone online that routinely makes you feel bad about yourself, put them on silent in your feed - or just don’t go there! With all of the political rage, I’m finding myself spending less time on social media these days - it’s not a bad thing to take a break!
5. Give thanks - express gratitude - DAILY. If you don’t routinely do this, doing it will change your life! Start a list of things for which you are grateful and add to it each day. When you’re feeling like you just ‘can’t compare,’ find your list and read it. Skimming that list will take you a minute - you know what’s on it but, somehow reading it can instantly change your mindset, entirely. Be ever so grateful…
Move beyond the comparisons and just be you…unashamedly you.
© Debe Maxwell | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | CharlotteBroker@icloud.com | 5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Be Unapologetically YOU!