5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Be Unapologetically YOU!

By
Real Estate Agent with www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 228209
https://activerain.com/droplet/5pqt

5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Be Unapologetically YOU!

 

John Maxwell is one of my favorite motivators - his thoughts inspire me to be not only a better businesswoman but, a better person. One of my favorite books written by John Maxwell, is Good Leaders Ask Great Questions. One of the questions he was asked and subsequently answered pertaining to leadership, “How does an emerging leader establish leadership confidence without affirmation?

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to OthersHe reflected in his answer that he stopped comparing himself to others. His response made me think about several people I know who have stopped participating in social media altogether in recent years. Most of them say that they can’t stand that everyone seems to live ‘perfect’ lives, have the best children in the world, the most amazing marital relationship and the best cars, clothing, housing, etc. 

 

I think in this era, social media is sadly, a necessary evil. We are all challenged by it in one way, shape or form at one time or another. Some of us are challenged by it all of the time - we just don’t show it! Comparing yourself to others is something that, according to Thomas Mussweiler, a German psychologist, is natural. The social comparison theory is REAL and we can all fall into the pitfall of comparison. It is a key element that we use as a protective measure to assess perceived threats. "Inevitably, we relate information about others to ourselves. It's one of the most basic ways we develop an understanding of who we are, what we're good at, and what we're not so good at.

It's normal to compare 

 

Tired of making comparisons and agonizing over whether your home compares to Chip & Joanna Gaines, your attire compares to Kate Middleton or your life compares to someone you ‘idolize?’

Here are 5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others: 

 

 

1.  Focus on your strengths - Jot down 5 things that YOU really like about yourself, your strengths or characteristics that others often say about you. 

 

2. Celebrate your friends on social media - don’t compare yourself, celebrate THEM! In real estate, we learn to be our clients biggest cheerleaders. Go beyond that with your friends and enthusiastically cheer for them when they post something that they are happy about. Chances are they are not bragging - they are simply expressing their happiness, for the world to read. Share in their joy!

 

3. Compete with YOU, not THEM - In our business, we should all have written business plans and goals. Spend your energy competing with yourself, your own goals…re-write your goals if you need to, as often as you need to.

Social Media Challenges4. Limit your social media time - If the comparison to others is driving you crazy, take a break or limit your time online, gradually stepping back in as you see fit. If there is someone online that routinely makes you feel bad about yourself, put them on silent in your feed - or just don’t go there! With all of the political rage, I’m finding myself spending less time on social media these days - it’s not a bad thing to take a break!

 

Always be ever so grateful5. Give thanks - express gratitude - DAILY. If you don’t routinely do this, doing it will change your life! Start a list of things for which you are grateful and add to it each day. When you’re feeling like you just ‘can’t compare,’ find your list and read it. Skimming that list will take you a minute - you know what’s on it but, somehow reading it can instantly change your mindset, entirely. Be ever so grateful…

 

Move beyond the comparisons and just be you…unashamedly you. 

 

© Debe Maxwell | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | CharlotteBroker@icloud.com | 5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others - Be Unapologetically YOU!

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  1. Joe Jackson 10/29/2020 08:21 AM
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Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Thanks so much, Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR! I have found lately that there is not as much 'inspiration' to be on social media - not only due to a busy work schedule but, for all of the nastiness. I know we can ignore it but, boy, it's gotten crazy lately, hasn't it?! 

Oct 28, 2020 05:28 PM #23
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Jay McHugh
SendOutCards-Appreciation Marketing Expert - Acton, MA
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thanks for shairng...great nuggets here...I appreciate you.....

Oct 29, 2020 04:30 AM #24
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Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, Blackstone Realty Group - brokered by eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

I love this post, and it comes with great tips too! I've always been in competition with myself. I find it's the quickest way to growth.

Oct 29, 2020 06:06 AM #25
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Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Hi Debe Maxwell, CRS

For the most part, I don't think I'd want to trade places with anyone who portrays that "perfect" life. They all have back stories and I doubt I'd want to take any of them on.  I only know how to deal with own back stories and am content with being me.   Thanks for a great post. 

Oct 29, 2020 08:02 AM #26
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Joe Jackson
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Columbus, OH
Clintonville and Central Ohio Real Estate Expert

True! Great post! Thanks for making this content! 

Oct 29, 2020 08:21 AM #27
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Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

Great, great, advice. Comparison is the thief of joy.  So very true. 

Oct 29, 2020 08:56 AM #28
Rainmaker
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Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400 - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtor, Philly Main Line

As someone mentioned this week and I jotted it down, develop a SWOT analysis, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, not just for your business, but for yourself as well. I have been thinking about and working on my goals for next year. Grateful for this year, as unusual as it has been and always happy to cheer others successes along.

Oct 30, 2020 04:54 AM #29
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Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

I have to agree with your one thought about friends 'showing off' on social media. I never think they are trying to one up me or brag. Must just be me. I do know that I have seen salespeople do this alot.

Oct 30, 2020 11:33 AM #30
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Steffy Hristova
HomeSmart Elite Group Tempe AZ Tel: 480-966-9353 - Tempe, AZ
Tempe AZ Realtor - Your Home Close to Your Work!

Debe, I loved this post. I am glad Debb and Bernie had featured it. 

Oct 30, 2020 07:10 PM #31
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Thank you, Jay McHugh - have a fantastic weekend!

Oct 31, 2020 02:50 PM #32
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Hi Kat Palmiotti! What is funny is that I was an athlete in school but, I was (and still am) my biggest critic. I practiced day-in and day-out and always tried to beat my own practice records...then, watch out on the courts (basketball & volleyball) and on the track! My competition with myself made me a better athlete, I think.

Oct 31, 2020 02:52 PM #33
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Me either, Carol Williams - challenges build character and in my humble opinion, 'the perfect life' doesn't exist. We learn to be happy with what we have in our lives but, we all have challenges and set-backs.

Oct 31, 2020 02:53 PM #34
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Thank you, Joe Jackson! Glad you enjoyed it.

Oct 31, 2020 02:54 PM #35
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Comparison is absolutely the theif of joy - you are spot-on, Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD!

Oct 31, 2020 02:54 PM #36
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

I'm the same way, Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543 - genuinely so (happy for others) too! 

My RE coach used to have us to SWOT analyses. I never did one for my personal life though - not a bad idea!

Oct 31, 2020 02:55 PM #37
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

I never feel like that either but, my hubby complains about that all of the time. I explain to him that I know them well and they are NOT bragging or trying to one-up the rest of us but, he is convinced! 

I like the way you and I think, Lyn Sims - I'd rather see the good in people!

Oct 31, 2020 02:57 PM #38
Ambassador
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Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Thank you, Steffy Hristova! I'm going to have to go find the post that Debb & Bernie featured it in. Thank you for the heads-up too! 

Oct 31, 2020 02:58 PM #39
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Celebrating people is really fun and being happy for people is really fun
and Immediately rewarding’

Oct 31, 2020 06:58 PM #40
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD They are really inspiring and they are worth it, In my own experience through the years with them.

Oct 31, 2020 06:59 PM #41
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Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL
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Gee.. how can one pass on this title? It is simply impossible, and I am a sucker for great titles :)

Some good people are still here, and you are among them.

Nov 02, 2020 11:30 PM #42
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