Friday Funnies - January 8th

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty One Group # S.0190863

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

 

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

 

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

 

“And what do you deduce from that?”

 

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,

 

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

 

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

 

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

 

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

 

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

 

 

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

 

Holmes is silent for a moment.

 

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

 

 

 

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

 

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

 

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

 

 

 

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

 

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

 

 

Comments (30)

Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I must admit your blog posts have it all. You make me think with most and smile with the others, thank you Rocky Dickerson 

Jan 08, 2021 09:38 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Rocky:

Well, the funnies are good any time of the day or night!

Jeff

Jan 08, 2021 10:54 PM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Rocky.

I've heard the first two before, the last one is new to me.  

Jan 09, 2021 01:30 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Friday funnies are still very funny on Saturday, Rocky. Couldn't decide which one I like best... they were all funny.

Jan 09, 2021 04:41 AM
Brian England
Vacasa - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Haha, I think I would notice before I even woke up if someone stole my tent.

Jan 09, 2021 04:44 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

That's funny,    Couldn't see the forest because of the trees  Nice way to put a smile on an early morning for me

Jan 09, 2021 05:14 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Kathy Streib glad that you enjoyed them

Jan 09, 2021 07:21 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Endre Barath, Jr.  You know 35 years of marriage was something worth pausing for. LOL

Jan 09, 2021 07:22 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS glad that you enjoyed this week's edition

Jan 09, 2021 07:23 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Jeff Dowler, CRS so glad that you enjoyed them sir!

Jan 09, 2021 07:24 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning James Dray glad that we could surprise you with at least one.

Jan 09, 2021 07:25 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Nina Hollander so glad that you enjoyed them today

Jan 09, 2021 07:26 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Brian England so I assume that means that you have played that round of golf anyways?

Jan 09, 2021 07:27 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Ed Silva so glad that you enjoyed today's collection of funnies.

Jan 09, 2021 07:28 AM
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

Love these! Thanks for sharing.

 

Jan 09, 2021 07:41 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Anne Corbin glad that you enjoyed this week's collection today.

Jan 09, 2021 07:44 AM
Jana Holmstrup
Jana Holmstrup - CCO - Kings Mortgage Services, Inc. - Visalia, CA

Thanks!  We needed those 😬

Jan 10, 2021 04:28 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hell Jana Holmstrup glad you enjoyed them. Visalia!  My brother used to live there and work in the Pepsi plant

Jan 10, 2021 06:25 PM
Jan Green
Value Added Service, 602-620-2699 - Scottsdale, AZ
HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN

Thank you for the "Friday funny."  Looks like it works on Tuesdays as well! 

Jan 26, 2021 08:21 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Jan Green glad you enjoyed them on a Tuesday as well!

Jan 26, 2021 08:56 AM
Jan Green

I did - see you soon!

Jan 26, 2021 09:04 AM

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