Friday Funnies - February 26th

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty One Group # S.0190863

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

 

 

 

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

 

 

 

A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, "Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo." The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, "Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!" The boy answered, "I did! Today I'm taking him to the cinema."

 

 

You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

 

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool.

 

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night pondering the existence of dog.

 

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.

 

Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.

 

I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

 

I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief. But when I got home, the signs were all there.

 

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggie.

 

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.

 

What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

 

 

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, “I’ll direct.”

DiCaprio says, “I’ll act.”

McConaughey says, “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”

Comments (30)

Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Rocky Dickerson  after dealing with a miserable company and trying to get just sold cards out finally finding a company that wanted to do business ??? I really enjoyed your humor 😌

Feb 26, 2021 08:20 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

So glad my collection of ffunnies could brighten your day Hannah Williams 

Feb 26, 2021 08:22 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I was hoping you would come out with another Friday funny this last Friday in February, you did Rocky Dickerson 

Feb 26, 2021 10:13 PM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR
Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Morning Rocky.

Oh my! sometimes I wonder what you'll come up with next.

Feb 27, 2021 12:45 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Rocky... wish I could have picked a favorite or two... but they were all really funny.

Feb 27, 2021 04:25 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS yes, this was my last Friday Funnies. I ran out of PC material

Feb 27, 2021 05:05 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning James Dray sometimes, James I wonder what I will come up with next as well.

Feb 27, 2021 05:06 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Nina Hollander so very glad that you enjoyed them all this week

Feb 27, 2021 05:06 AM
Kat Palmiotti
406-270-3667, kat@thehousekat.com, Broker, eXp Realty - Kalispell, MT
The House Kat

Haha, thanks for the giggles. 

Enjoy your day!

Feb 27, 2021 06:06 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning to you Kat Palmiotti I hope you have a wonderful and productive day as well.

Feb 27, 2021 06:12 AM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Rocky, I missed this yesterday so today I am enjoying your Friday Funnies. The left-handed joke is my favorite!

Feb 27, 2021 06:49 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Rocky Dickerson - all very funny.  I heard a variation of the monkey one and used it as an ice breaker.

Feb 27, 2021 07:19 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400 I need to come up with a new angle now as I ran out of my PC jokes.

Feb 27, 2021 07:37 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Grant Schneider yeah that was a good one too. I was caught off guard with the joke about the actors

Feb 27, 2021 07:39 AM
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Rocky, for adding smiles to our faces.

Take care and be safe.

Feb 27, 2021 08:16 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hey there Roy Kelley glad that my final edition of the Friday Funnies made you smile.

Feb 27, 2021 08:39 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

Hello Rocky Dickerson  - I am learning another side of you with this post.  

Since it is Saturday - I guess I will just refer to this as Saturday Sillies! 

Feb 27, 2021 01:21 PM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, EXP - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Hi Rocky,  Thanks for sharing - I always enjoy your Friday Funnies as a great kick-off for the weekend.

Feb 27, 2021 07:41 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hello Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist yes we do work well as partners and learn a lot about each other.

Feb 27, 2021 09:25 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hey there Bob Crane so glad that you enjoyed the Friday Funnies

Feb 27, 2021 09:26 PM

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