Caution – your prospects probably don’t trust these words

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

If your email is anything like mine, it is filled with headlines the writers believe will draw you in and make you click their links. I believe they’re called “click bait.”

There are two things wrong with their thinking.

One is that we are becoming sick and tired of these overused words. What words? Here are a few:

  • Bomb / bombshell
  • Rivetingtrust
  • Shock /shocked
  • Stuns / stunned
  • POW
  • Panic
  • Fatal mistake

Do you bother to open links with those words in the headline/teaser?

I quit opening most of them months ago, and for two very good reasons.

Usually they are either “old news” or there’s nothing shocking, riveting, stunning, etc. in the article.

The second thing wrong with their thinking, and the second reason why I seldom click is that these headline writers make a habit of breaking one of the basic rules of copywriting.

Very often, the headline has nothing at all to do with the article that follows.

I’ve read a few that made absolutely no mention of anything referenced in the headline. If you do that a time or two - or perhaps even one time – you’ll throw your credibility out the window.

People don't like to be fooled, so don't try.

As for avoiding the misleading words...

There aren’t a whole lot of reasons why these words should creep into your writing, but there are a few.

  • You might be describing how quickly you can sell a listing. (You’ll be shocked at…)
  • You might be describing a view. (You’ll be stunned by the riveting view!)
  • You might be urging buyers to act quickly (hesitation is a fatal mistake?)

In this year of exaggeration, you might want to avoid all "puffing" in your property descriptions.

After all, what you think is "beautiful" or "large" might mean something entirely different to your reader.

I think of a time years ago when one of my co-workers was speaking with a buyer in the office. He told her that a property had beautiful trees. She replied that the only beautiful tree was a dead one, cut up for firewood.

And "large?" I've seen quarter-acre parcels described as large. My thought: No, that would be "tiny."

close

Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. MaryKay Shumway 12/01/2020 12:15 PM
  2. Joe Jackson 12/10/2020 05:41 AM
Topic:
Real Estate Sales and Marketing
Groups:
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Tags:
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Rainmaker
2,932,378
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I tend to see them as exaggerations too. Unless it’s a movie with a whole lot of action or sports, I don’t see what’s so riveting about it lol.

Nov 30, 2020 08:17 AM #19
Rainmaker
2,932,378
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Marte Cliff I can see that being bombarded that way can make you be more into anti-advertising types of advertising, if that’s even a thing.

Nov 30, 2020 08:19 AM #20
Ambassador
3,245,572
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

If I don't know the sender, or am not expecting the email, I generally trash it.  Every once in a while I will open something with a headline that gets me from the NAR or VAR, but even then, if they make whatever they advertised in the headline hard to find or mislead, I am out.

Nov 30, 2020 11:02 AM #21
Ambassador
3,245,572
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Featured in the group:  BARTENDER, MAKE IT A DOUBLE.

Nov 30, 2020 11:03 AM #22
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Laura Cerrano Yes, I think anti-advertising type of advertising is a real thing. It's what you're doing when you're building trust and relationships with your future clients.

Chris Ann Cleland Unless it's obvious advertising, I generally look at every email. Some of the inquiries I get from prospective clients have very odd subject lines. ☺️

Thanks for the feature!

Nov 30, 2020 02:38 PM #23
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

To Lottie Kendall and Nina Hollander - I thought you'd be interested in something I read from a publication entitled

The Small BIG (speed summary) – 20 Psychological Nudges to get People to Buy

"Nudge" #5:  Nudge people to pay attention by using their first name; first name cues our attention (cocktail party phenomenon – from the background din of chatter, you notice when someone uses your name)

Those "Hey!" people who annoy you think they're doing something smart!

Nov 30, 2020 02:43 PM #24
Ambassador
2,999,691
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Mostly I agree with you, but I love for my listing descriptions to tell the story of the house.  Maybe it's not going to appeal to everyone, but I've had so many buyers say it spoke to them that I'll be keeping my descriptive style.

Nov 30, 2020 09:58 PM #25
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Tammy Lankford, I don't think telling the story of the house would involve using those meaningless words. The word Descriptive tells me that you are saying something interesting.

Nov 30, 2020 10:19 PM #26
Rainmaker
1,991,850
Michael J. Perry
KW Elite - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist

Nothing worse then a health related video that promises to share the secret of health and 25 minutes later has repeated itself 3-4 times AND still not revealed the secret !!

Dec 01, 2020 04:32 AM #27
Rainmaker
1,660,945
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

I'm tired of people using 'obsessed'. I'm obsessed with this wallpaper. Really? Makes you sound stupid.

Dec 01, 2020 08:23 AM #28
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Michael J. Perry I quit biting on those a long time ago. After they bore you to tears with repetition, they get to the end and let you know that you'll get the answer after you send "Only $39.95" for their book.

Lyn Sims I agree, and I have the same reaction to those who are "passionate" about the wallpaper.

 

Dec 01, 2020 08:50 AM #29
Rainmaker
654,822
MaryKay Shumway
The Kellstrom Ray Agency, Inc. (Est. 1948) - Sister Bay, WI
Door County Wisconsin's Real Estate Expert

Nice post and great food for thought!!

Dec 01, 2020 12:09 PM #30
Rainmaker
3,512,687
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Another well deserved Feature, loved the post and I would have missed it if it wasn not for MaryKay Shumway 

Dec 01, 2020 10:34 PM #31
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

MaryKay Shumway Thank you - and thanks for re-blogging.

Endre Barath, Jr. Thank you - and I thank Mary Kay.

 

Dec 02, 2020 09:38 AM #32
Rainer
3,663
Kristen Miller

This sounds about right!! I share the same sentiments! Thank you for posting this!

Dec 02, 2020 03:51 PM #33
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

And thank YOU for reading it Kristen Miller!

Welcome to the rain!

Dec 05, 2020 08:37 PM #34
Rainmaker
6,160,027
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Marte, for sharing your experience and your advice.

Dec 06, 2020 11:59 AM #35
Rainmaker
1,641,120
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Thanks Roy Kelley - I appreciate your support.

Dec 06, 2020 12:41 PM #36
Rainmaker
2,207,703
Joe Jackson
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Columbus, OH
Clintonville and Central Ohio Real Estate Expert

Great tips! Thank you for this! 

Dec 10, 2020 05:46 AM #37
Rainmaker
6,160,027
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Thursday morning, Marte. I hope you are enjoying the holidays.

Happy New Year!

Dec 31, 2020 06:35 AM #38
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