Mans best friend,how much do you grieve after ones death

Real Estate Agent with Brokered by eXp Realty LLC SL # 3014652

My dog's name is Roscoe. He is a Jack Russell Terrier.....he was also the pick of the litter which means he is the most dominant in his pack. My wife and I wanted a dog and when we picked Roscoe. It took us about 1 month of reading different books,talking to different breeders and checking different locations as to where we can find him.

After finding out his breed was what we wanted, we researched about the breed, finding out they were good with children.....he is also friendly and faithful. We also realized he would be a handful as he would need lots of exercise and lots of attention. We were told he was a small dog but in a 8 Ft. tall body....meaning he looks small but was like owning an amazon dog and he always has to be on a higher perch than everyone else. After all the feedback we recieved.... we picked him out of a group of 6 from a reputable breeders in Lyme Conneticut. At the time we were living in NY and we would always fed him the recommended food and we took him to the vet on a regular basis and kept up with all his shots and medicines he needed when we was ill.

This post was updated from back in 2007.

Roscoe is now 17yrs old and still ticking! If you were to look at him he is as vibrant today as he was when he was a puppy,the life expectancy for his breed is around 15yrs. Well Roscoe went over that plateau and will be 18 yrs old in Nov.2009. It amazes me and my family how he still has a bottomless pit and always begging and barking for food. But in the last 2 yrs he has started to have bladder problems and constantly has to go out. He now likes to wake me up out of a sound sleep at anywhere from 4:30 am to 6:00am. When he was younger he would wake us up at 6am......but those days seem to be over.......but we cope with it and I know he cannot help it.

We love him and he still is a terrific pet.

Lately he has started to have problems getting off the high bed we have and seems to be limping....but when it comes to food he doesn't care about the pain and just runs around like a lightning bolt to get some. My wife wants to plan a 1-2 week trip in a few months. In the past we would leave him for a few days at the vet to be boarded but now we are not sure how he will handle the longer time without us and if something happened while we were away then it would upset me if I wasn't there for him to say goodbye in my own way. This morning I started to think how much longer can he can keep this up. I just hope when I wake up one morning or come home from work that he doesn'tpass before I could say my goodbyes and I did get very sad when thinking about this and don't know how I will feel when it does happen..... but this morning I felt like it could happen soon.

I hope I am wrong and we get another 2 yrs .....but I also do not want him to suffer either.

Some people I know think I make too much out of it and that our world always seems revolve around him. Let's face it..... he has been with me longer than my daughter and I already lost a dog when I was younger.

My mother told me our other dog ran away....but years later I found out they put him to sleep because he was out of hand and very old. It was amazing I was running around the neighborhood looking for him for months.... thinking I would find him and not realizing until my wife told me my mother had told her the truth 20 yrs later that they had put him to sleep. That really made me unhappy for a long time.

So this blog goes out to my best friend...."my pet" Roscoe and god bless! If anyone is interested....I updated this blog so that I can share a new group you can join

PETS ARE PEOPLE TOO, if anyone is interested, please feel free to join!





Posted by

Neal Bloom

Comments (184)

Pam Faulkner
Faulkner House Interior Redesign - Herndon, VA
Room Transformations Fairfax & Loudoun Counties VA

Neal, my husband and I have had two dogs at a time for years.  They have all been like children to us and they all lived to be well past the age expectations for their breed.  We have adopted older dogs from the breed rescue leagues since people usually want puppies and the older dogs are harder to place.  The problem is you have less time with them, but these dogs more than make up for it with their love.  Like you we have worried about boarding them so we had trusted friends come in to take care of them in their last years.  It made it easier when we had to leave home.  Each time we would worry about when would be the right time to end any suffering and each time the answer would become clear.  It is never easy and you grieve a lot, but one day you realize that it is getting easier and then comes acceptance.  Do I miss our "babies"?  Yes, and always will.  But we have learned to look back on the good times without being sad at least most of the time now.  Having a "new" little body to love helps too.  She is 10 years old, a Jack, Bassett and Beagle mix.  She now plays and acts like a puppy after living in an abusive situation for some time before she was rescued.  We see characteristics of all of our other dogs in her and we feel that she was meant to be ours.  Enjoy the time you have and try not to dwell on what will come.  It will only diminish the time you have.

Jun 09, 2008 03:50 PM
Chris Horton
Horton's Lawn Care L.L.C. - Burton, MI

I still miss Hercules, and think about him everyday. It has been nearly two years.

Jun 10, 2008 01:52 AM
Neal Bloom
Brokered by eXp Realty LLC - Weston, FL
Realtor CRS-Weston FL Real Estate

Amazing that this post still is getting comments...thanks!

Jun 10, 2008 08:46 AM
Melissa Weinberg
Melissa Weinberg Contract Mortgage Processing/Post closer - West Palm Beach, FL

HI Neal

I am the proud owner of 7 dogs and I love all of them like humans. I dont have children so they are my furkids!!

I  even cooked for all of them until recently.

All I can say is that when it is that time you will know it in your heart. When I had to put my first dog to sleep it was like I could see in his eyes that he was telling me he wanted to go to the rainbow bridge. Nothing but time will be able to take that pain away.  Just enjoy his love and enjoy it to the fullest. You sound like a wonderful parent!!


Jun 10, 2008 11:49 AM
LLoyd Nichols
Premier Florida Realty of SWFL - Fort Myers, FL
Southwest Florida Homes By The Sea

My wife and I lost Red, our beautiful Rhodesian Ridgeback, on March 4, 2008.  For a couple of weeks, we could barely function, our grief was so terrible.  We decided to get another dog sooner rather than later.  The house was so empty without Red.  It was a good decision.  We still are grieving for Red, but Mimi, our new Rhodesian girl, has helped to ease out pain.

Jun 11, 2008 02:29 PM
Anne Clark
Metro Referrals - Gainesville, VA

When I was a little girl...MANY years ago, we had our first Boxer.  I am now on my fifth Boxer.  A 95 pound black brindle...typical Boxer, loving,perennial puppy.Funloving with a heck of a sense of humor.  Family dog, protective, but knowledgeable about what is a threat and what isn't. He's spoiled rotten, too. I have 2 baby granddaughters, he gently plays with them.  I didn't learn unconditional love from my parents but from my Boxer.  People without pets wonder why pet people are the way we are...this is the reason...unconditional love! They probably made most of us better people, too. Boxers don't live very long, but Buster is just 4 years old.  We're looking for a few more good years with him!  He's the love of our life!!...............You will know what to do and when to do it.  And Roscoe will know it's time, too.  That won't make a decision any easier, but you both will come to agreement!..............And remember...death is not the end....and know that sometimes death is a gift that we can give to our 4 legged loved ones!  My heart goes out to you...

Jun 11, 2008 03:30 PM
Brenda Tressler
Crye-Leike Realtors - Clarksville, TN

turtleThis post just made me cry... love him each day you have and then remember him after he has passed. A few years back ( I use to raise shelties) and all of them were getting older. Kaiser 16, Sheba 16 and Cody 15. Kaiser passed when I was at work the first day of spring 2006... then September of the same year I had to take the other two and have them put down (on the same day because I just put it off for so long). Having Kaiser go while I was gone was easier because I did not have to drive him to the vets for the last time. I cry now writng this. All my love to you & your BEST friend! Brenda :)

Aug 13, 2008 11:00 AM
Donna Yates
BHGRE - Metro Brokers - Blue Ridge, GA
Blue Ridge Mountains

Neal:  Some people think grief is a sign of weakness but it certainly is not.  It is the result of a strong relationship which deserves the honor of strong emotion.  It takes a long time to build a strong bond of love and it takes a very long time to say goodbye.  I am parking here to go back and read through all the comments.  I've already read some and I can't get through them all because of the tears so I will be back off and on to read all the stories.  My best to you and Roscoe.  In loving memory of Boopi 

Aug 13, 2008 11:31 AM
Cheryl Winn
Keller Williams Realty - Rock Hill, SC

I have 4 dogs, two which are 10 years old.  They are like part of the family and it is very hard watching them get older, but one thing is for certain, they know they are loved.  I know without a doubt that Roscoe knows he is loved too.  Treasure each day you have with him and love him like there is no tomorrow.

Aug 13, 2008 11:44 AM
Neal Bloom
Brokered by eXp Realty LLC - Weston, FL
Realtor CRS-Weston FL Real Estate

Wow...I guess this blog came back from space...thanks...I feel now that decisions might have to be made sooner than later.

Aug 13, 2008 11:54 AM
Meli Gerogianis
JKA Properties (Meli G Realty & Investment Group) - Clarksville, TN
Broker, CRS, ABR, SFR, CDPE, Licensed in TN & KY

It's hard when you lose a loved one, and when you lose a pet-friend, is not any different. They become part of the family and it's hard to let go. I lost a wired fox terrier 10 years ago and when I think back about that day, I still cry. Now I have a miniature schnauzer and he's 9, so the older he gets the more nervous I get. I know the day will come for us to part our ways, no way around it, but still doensn't make it any easier on me.

I love all the pictures and comments everyone wrote!









Aug 20, 2008 04:01 PM
Not Yet Licensed

Hi Neal,

Roscoe's personality comes through in that picture you posted!  We have 4 dogs now.  They're basically part of our family.  My wife bought a small sign, and mounted it on our front porch, that says "Spoiled Rotten Dogs Live Here".  It's true!  :)



Aug 20, 2008 08:21 PM
Dan Porter
Bozeman Broker Group - Bozeman, MT

Neal,  We had to put 2 of our dogs down last year, Buddy - our 15 1/2 year old golden retriever and Rocky our black lab who was 16.  Buddy was going downhill, and then one day made the decision for us when he couldn't even walk.  That was in February and by July Rocky lost control of his bladder and his joints were so bad we had to carry him up and down the stairs, and then one morning he didn't want to get up at all and we knew it was time.  Our vet came out to our house and we all gathered down by our creek while he peacefully went to sleep.  I still cry when I think of both of them, and have an ache when I look at their photos that will never go away.  We still have Rocky's son, Sonny who is now 10 1/2, and Bailey our 2 year old golden they are when we first got Bailey and he was looking up to his brother for advice!

I just read "The Art of Racing in the Rain", and think it was one of the best books ever, and really gives you a different perspective on aging dogs.  It hurts so much to lose your furry friends, but the joy they bring to your life when they are with you is the best feeling ever!Best wishes to you!

Dan and Jamie

Aug 21, 2008 05:16 AM
Joseph D. Federico
Donahue Real Estate Co. - Canton, MA
Eastern Massachusetts Real Estate

Neal-I had to put down my dog Lucca in 1999, she was my first dog. My daughter was 3 at the time, and I will never forget her pain. I remember reading to her the Rainbow Bridge, and we could never get through it without a tear. After many months of my daughter crying over our beloved Lucca. I went to a shelter and picked our Bailey. We know that Lucca would of loved Bailey, but I think Lucca would think that we spoil Bailey all too often. Anyways this has been a great post for all dog lovers, and my best to you and Roscoe's family.


Aug 21, 2008 01:14 PM
Neal Bloom
Brokered by eXp Realty LLC - Weston, FL
Realtor CRS-Weston FL Real Estate

Thanks everyone...I think I might shut off the comments for now only because I really don't know what else to say but thanks.

Aug 22, 2008 07:05 AM
Christine O'Shea
Christine E O'Shea Broker - Naples, FL

Hi Neil, Just came upon your post, since you put it up for a re-post.  I had to board my dog in Florida and the vet called me and said she had a stroke and may have to be put down, before I got to her.  I was sick with worry, long story short she is fine, must have been left out in the heat there.  Can you imagine if I had agreed and had it done without saying goodbye.

Sep 03, 2008 07:22 AM
Neal Bloom
Brokered by eXp Realty LLC - Weston, FL
Realtor CRS-Weston FL Real Estate

Thanks Christine.

Sep 04, 2008 06:56 AM
-- Casey Brischle
Columbia Bank - Spokane, WA
Spokane Home Loan Mortgage Professional

I don't think there is a set amount of time to greive Neal.  Jsut take as much as you need and enjoy every day you can with roscoe!

Sep 05, 2008 10:02 AM
Jim Frimmer
HomeSmart Realty West - San Diego, CA
Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist

I'm a griever. I admit it. So whenever I'm grieving at the loss of a pet, I head on out to the local animal shelter as quickly as possible to get me another pet. Then the deceased pet becomes a celebrated memory.

Sep 27, 2008 03:49 AM
Judi Downing Real Estate Properties in Charlotte & Union Co
Keller Williams Realty - Indian Trail, NC

I love cat's and dogs. Right now we just have 2 cats our outside cat Murphy which is a white mann coon & Miss Emma a russian blue. She stays inside and is with me every move I make. I am always saying that I just don't know how I would cope when Emmie passes away. She is only 4 so hopefully we have a long life together. 

Sep 27, 2008 08:14 AM