Education & Training with Performance Development Strategies

Communication is always a two-way process. We should remember that we talk WITH people not TO people. Do you remember the line, “What we have here is a failure to communicate?”   This line is from the movie Cool Hand Luke and it has become a catchphrase. That is because it highlights one of our greatest frustrations--miscommunication. On the other hand, great communication has almost always been a trait of some of our greatest leaders. They had great accomplishments, but they were almost always great communicators.

Communication is a two-way process to exchange ideas. We communicate to elicit some type of response. Some examples of a response could be more knowledge, a specific action, or some type of emotion.

Depending on our communications media, the words we use might not have as powerful an impact as other factors. For example, in face-to-face conversations we communicate more information nonverbally through our body language and our tone of voice. But to be honest, every communication has a nonverbal element.

You can miscommunicate with any form of medium. These are some that I have noticed.

Face to Face – Your body language will say whether you believe what you are saying or whether you are uncomfortable and unsure. When you speak look directly at the other person. If you look away it says you lack confidence or belief in your message. The listener might be reluctant to trust you based on your body language. Some other subtle signals such as the way you stand, the way you fidget, or your facial expression will create an impression that may be contrary to your words.

Email – I have heard people tell me that they can feel the anger in someone’s email. Tersely written emails with no forethought can do great damage. The misuse or overuse of email can damage relationships. I worked with a manager who sent emails to people who were sitting right outside her office. Her staff complained that she was impersonal and did not show interest in their contributions.

Phone -   Think about your message before you make that phone call. Your voicemail message on your phone should be carefully scripted. Listen to your message. If you were a caller what impression would you receive? When you leave messages on answering systems, they should be concise and to the point, not rambling to the point of being cut off by the time limit?


The best way to give a good message is to be a good listener. Remember we have two ears and one mouth. Focus on the person receiving the message. Watch for clues of understanding, engagement, and agreement. In short, what to see if you are getting that response you desire. In this way you will ensure that you have connected and established two-way communication.  For a similar post on our site see HOW DOES YOUR COMMUNICATION FLOW?

Learn how to make your team communication flow in 2021

Contact us to learn more

or call 914-953-4458.

Comments (39)

Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Rodney Downs We have to think about our mannerisms and her tone of voice and I contacted all of that to a degree that I don’t often think about unless I am actively trying.

Dec 28, 2020 09:04 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

The fast pace of this year's real estate market. Less face to face personal communication have been challenges for us all. Sincere communication showing you understand takes time and empathy. A few text message words or abbreviations and a dash of cryptic email don't provide enough information. Quality listening assures you truely do desire to undersand the real estate situation and your role to be a helpful resource to family, community, your real estate buyers and sellers Grant Schneider .

Dec 29, 2020 03:58 AM
Raymond Henson, eXp Realty
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA

Thank you for the reminders.  I learned the hard way with emails that I have to be very careful.  What is clear in tone with face to face communication is not always clear in an email. 

Dec 29, 2020 05:12 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Ed - it really is easy to over react.  I find that so.

Kat - I think everyone agrees on that point.

Paul - oh yes.  I can hear it now!

Rocky - you think so.  Ok then.

Lottie - sometimes we forget when communicating with our families.


Dec 29, 2020 05:36 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

George - oh yes and you can read that frame of mind.

Jeff - for sure.  That is why thinking through first can save regrets later.

Laura - we really need to watch our tone of voice.

Andrew - I suspect we have all learned how to effective communicate electronically this year.

Raymond - and those you really can't take back.

Dec 29, 2020 06:29 AM
Paula McDonald, Ph.D.
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

I so love this post. Effective communication is truly an art. Perception is everything! Your points are spot on!

Dec 29, 2020 06:53 AM
Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD
ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
REALTORS® in Clark County, WA

I reminds me of the song, "everybody's talking at me, can't hear a word they're saying." Words are so powerful, and effective communication is such a wonderful art. Careful and focused listening builds trust and confidence. Rightfully so, too. 

Dec 29, 2020 07:07 AM
Dan Hopper
Dan Hopper - Gold Way RE - Westminster, CO
Denver Broker / Author / Advocate/Short Sale

Effective and proper communication is always KEY NO 1, when dealing with clients / customers / other professionals.  Keep it as simple as possible with the right context that needs addressed.  Love this posting, !!

Dec 29, 2020 09:12 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Paula - yes indeed.  Perception is reality.

Debb and Bernie - yes, that song is perfect for this isn't it.

Dan - simple and to the point but not insulting.  Fine balance.


Dec 29, 2020 09:32 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Hello Grant,  Good seeing you in the zoom call today.  I learn a long time ago, there is a time to talk and more important a time to LISTEN!


Dec 29, 2020 12:33 PM
Erik Hiss
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Worthington, OH
You can trust me for all your real estate needs!

Super helpful. In an age of techology where everyone spouts of thoughts on social media without thinking this is a good reminder to think before you speak or type!

Dec 30, 2020 05:23 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, great post to remind us our communication in any form needs to be clear and concise.   

Dec 30, 2020 07:00 AM
Joe Jackson
Keller Williams Capital Partners Realty - Columbus, OH
Clintonville and Central Ohio Real Estate Expert

Wonderful post! Thanks for sharing this! 

Dec 30, 2020 07:28 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good evening Grant Schneider,

Another excellent featured post. Communication must be a two-way street to exchange ideas if its going to be effective.

Dec 30, 2020 04:46 PM
Janice Zaltman
United Realty Group - Boca Raton, FL
South Florida Residential Real Estate

Communication is everything. Many times people think if they say what they think then that is communicating. Everyone hears differently so we need to speak towards that persons style of listening.

Dec 30, 2020 08:24 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Grant you are so spot on and indeed the hardest part is for people to bite their tongues:) now with a quick nasty text back a quick nasty email back and a quick nasty voice mail.... thanks to the speed of technology we can be Jerks much faster and more efficiently:))Endre

Dec 30, 2020 08:53 PM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Will - that is the big thing to remember.

Erik - people really say things on social media that they should keep to themselves.

Joan - yes, and keep the emotion under control.

Joe - thank you for reading.

Dorie - yes, there is a sender and receiver.

Janice - I just had a similar situation the day before yesterday.

Endre - just two nights ago I had a situation with a person that I had to calm down.

Dec 31, 2020 05:46 AM
Anne Corbin
Long and Foster - Lake Anna - Spotsylvania, VA
Serving Lake Anna & Central Virginia

Communication can definitely be misinterpreted. I've found myself on the wrong end more than I want to admit. What I think of as an innocent remark with good intentions has been misinterpreted on a few occasions. It is a shame we can offend in this day and time so easily.

Dec 31, 2020 10:48 AM
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

hi Grant- Someone once told me that it wasn't necessarily what I said but how I said it. Communicating isn't just about saying or typing the words. And especially with email and texting what we are trying to communicate may be misunderstood. 

Jan 02, 2021 02:11 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Grant, love going back and reading other comments.   Communication is so important and how you accomplish this!  

Jan 30, 2021 07:24 AM

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?