Okay, now this may be the most controversial post that I place here this year. Perhaps even ever. I am going to talk about a word you don’t admit is a part of what you do. The “N” word. Yep, that’s right, nonconfront.
We all have an internal dialogue. Things we say in our mind but may not say out loud. Some things we are okay with dealing with and somethings we would rather just ignore so that we don’t have to face them. When the mind doesn’t want to deal with something, it may choose to do a nonconfront instead of dealing with it.
In what ways do people nonconfront? There are many.
Not hearing. Ever notice there are times that someone doesn’t hear you or your don’t hear someone when there is a difficult conversation?
Forgetting. Some people forget things so that they won’t have to deal with them.
Getting angry is a way of nonconfronting. Some of you may be arguing that anger is a confrontation. Actually, in this case anger is a diversion. Anger can be used as a way to not confront something and since people don’t want to be around someone who is angry, they many times let the issue go by as well.
Sleeping. Some people fall asleep at inappropriate times as a way of avoiding confrontation.
Going to the bathroom. It was funny. In teaching seminars, we always knew when the most people would get up and go to the bathroom. It would always be when we looked at people’s lack of finances. There is no statistical way that so many people would HAVE to go to the bathroom (instead of waiting 45 minutes) at that one particular moment.
Getting sick. Some people will get sick in order to avoid something (like that 5th grade book report?) and some people get sick from exhaustion because the person doesn’t want a confrontation and so they never say no to people and they exhaust themselves.
Dying. Watch a woman who has been married all her life to 1 man. Chances are 3 in 4 she will die in the first two years after his death. I saw a man when his wife died on Saturday. The funeral was Friday. He died the next day.
So far this week, we have discussed Fear, Anger, and Nonconfronting. Now what you focus on expands. In fact the more you see it, the more you create it. Like a snowball of momentum. Starting tomorrow, we pivot and look at the opposite side of things.
When we don’t see clearly, that is a mind fog. Remember that there is a possibility. How to get to that possibility, get to that trance, how to stop the mind fog – all that starts tomorrow in my next post.
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