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The Blooper Blog - MLS Gaffes and Laughs

Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

It's​"hump day," and the Blooper Blog is back, my friends. There were some amazing gaffes on the MLS and in real estate advertising this week, and I have also included some older trophy winners. It seems the need for truncated speech in social media outlets is relegating proper grammar to the past. A special thanks to our own Jane Peters for sending me the most hilarious listing copy ever. Please enjoy:

California Gold
"Ask about grass" (Dude, is real estate ganja now a thing?)
"Trembling in yard" (Brought to you by San Andreas Real Estate, Inc.)
"Large area for flours" (I believe that's called a bakery.)
"Potted pants stay" (Potted agent needs Depends.)
​"A house ideal for generators" (Reality check: that's a tent, nitwit...)​
New Jersey Pyrite
"Drop in for smacks"  (Touch me and you're going down, dude!)
"Pizza launch" (Never piss off Antonio while he's cooking...)
"Sprinklers on auto" ('Back into a car wash?)

"Ceilings have been raided" (So have your IQ points.)

"Completely mew kitchen" (That explains the litter box in the fridge.)
Simply Oz
​​"Warning – lots of stares" (The toilet paper hanging out of your pants may be a factor...)​
"New tikes on roof" (How do you get the kids to hold on during a rainstorm?)

"Call for entry cod" (Well I did notice the dorsal fin on the doorman...)
"Dishwasher operates good" (The AMA may have a different opinion about that...)

"Applicants must provide OD" (Hence the crash cart and defibrillators on the porch.)
​And the Just Plain Funny Award goes to:
"Donkey under mat" (Hence the term "asswipe.")
And the Creativity Award of The Week goes to:
"The roof leaks, the floor creaks, and there's a terrible draft, but this home is a very open concept...the inside is open to the outside because several of the windows are broken. There is a sunny window in the kitchen... and absolutely nothing else. I know you've heard of a detached garage, but have you ever heard of a detached foundation?...Honey stop the car!"
I can't add to this - it speaks for its glorious self...and it's Pending! Thanks to Jane Peters for the best find ever!
That's it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!

Please follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/SherlockofHomes or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/gwen.banta

...And be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you! 

Comments (22)

Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Gwen - a realty laugh free-for-all of sorts.  And the submission by Jane Peters is a Los Angeles classic.  Of course, it's pending. . .  

Feb 17, 2021 06:57 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I have seen houses ideal for generators, and automatic sprinkler systems, and dishwashers that operate, like, um, you know, good, but I've never seen tikes on the roof.

Can you send a photo? 


Oh, it would indeed be hard to pin the tail on the donkey under the mat.  Just sayin'.

Feb 18, 2021 03:23 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Hi Gwen... LMAO! All I could was laugh and shake my head at the same time!

Feb 18, 2021 04:18 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Haha, and I love Jane's addition! And it's pending!


Feb 18, 2021 05:30 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

I just can't stop smirking at the Creativity award as it so resembles some of the photos agents post of their listings

Feb 18, 2021 06:30 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Gwen Banta always love your bloopers posts. Thank you for sharing.

Feb 18, 2021 06:51 AM
marti garaughty
garaughty.com - Montreal, QC
a highly caffeinated creative type...



Feb 19, 2021 10:42 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I have been waiting forever for these. Honestly. You have got to write another book highlighting your collection.

Feb 20, 2021 02:20 PM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

It's good to wake up and read one of your blooper posts to start the day off right!

Feb 22, 2021 11:05 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Good lines for that fixer upper.

Feb 23, 2021 12:40 PM
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 570-801-5525

Just for fun, wonder how many of the bloopers were discovered and corrected? :)

Mar 31, 2021 10:23 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

I literally laughed out loud at some of these Gwen, thank you for that!

Apr 12, 2021 05:53 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I was looking for your current posts.

I hope all is going well for you. Take care and be safe.

Apr 13, 2021 07:51 AM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I like baseball and I like laughing, so both of them together kind of works for me very well! :

Apr 18, 2021 05:27 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Wednesday afternoon.

I hope you are enjoying a productive week.

Take care and be safe.

Apr 21, 2021 02:18 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Gwen, just wanted to stop in and hope all is well with you, hard to believe we live so close and we are still talking about getting together... I know last year does not count:)Endre

Apr 22, 2021 11:56 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Gwen, gotta love the bloopers, did you stop doing these?    Hope you are busy and able to get lots of homes closed.

Apr 24, 2021 03:54 PM
Curtis Van Carter
Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA
Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire


I haven't seen these in quite some time and am grateful they are back. Love the donkey under mat and your definition, cheers cvc

Apr 27, 2021 09:55 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Gwen Banta just stopping in hope all is well, looking forward to  comments and posts from you again, Endre

Sep 01, 2021 11:21 PM
Jim Patton
Aspire Home Real Estate 209-404-0816 - Modesto, CA
Realtor - Stanislaus ,Merced, San Joaquin Counties

Hello Gwen Banta and thanks for another great list of bloopers. 

Oct 02, 2021 10:35 AM