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The Blooper Blog - MLS Gaffes and Laughs

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

It's​"hump day," and the Blooper Blog is back, my friends. There were some amazing gaffes on the MLS and in real estate advertising this week, and I have also included some older trophy winners. It seems the need for truncated speech in social media outlets is relegating proper grammar to the past. A special thanks to our own Jane Peters for sending me the most hilarious listing copy ever. Please enjoy:
 

California Gold
"Ask about grass" (Dude, is real estate ganja now a thing?)
 
"Trembling in yard" (Brought to you by San Andreas Real Estate, Inc.)
 
"Large area for flours" (I believe that's called a bakery.)
 
"Potted pants stay" (Potted agent needs Depends.)
 
​"A house ideal for generators" (Reality check: that's a tent, nitwit...)​
 
New Jersey Pyrite
 
"Drop in for smacks"  (Touch me and you're going down, dude!)
 
"Pizza launch" (Never piss off Antonio while he's cooking...)
 
"Sprinklers on auto" ('Back into a car wash?)

"Ceilings have been raided" (So have your IQ points.)

"Completely mew kitchen" (That explains the litter box in the fridge.)
Simply Oz
 
​​"Warning – lots of stares" (The toilet paper hanging out of your pants may be a factor...)​
 
"New tikes on roof" (How do you get the kids to hold on during a rainstorm?)

"Call for entry cod" (Well I did notice the dorsal fin on the doorman...)
 
"Dishwasher operates good" (The AMA may have a different opinion about that...)

"Applicants must provide OD" (Hence the crash cart and defibrillators on the porch.)
​​
​And the Just Plain Funny Award goes to:
 
"Donkey under mat" (Hence the term "asswipe.")
 
And the Creativity Award of The Week goes to:
 
"The roof leaks, the floor creaks, and there's a terrible draft, but this home is a very open concept...the inside is open to the outside because several of the windows are broken. There is a sunny window in the kitchen... and absolutely nothing else. I know you've heard of a detached garage, but have you ever heard of a detached foundation?...Honey stop the car!"
 
I can't add to this - it speaks for its glorious self...and it's Pending! Thanks to Jane Peters for the best find ever!
 
That's it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!
-

Please follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/SherlockofHomes or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/gwen.banta

...And be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you! 

Show All Comments Sort:
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Hi Gwen,  Thank you for sharing these entertaining ooopses.  So important to double check everything before it is sent out.

Feb 17, 2021 06:12 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Gwen - a realty laugh free-for-all of sorts.  And the submission by Jane Peters is a Los Angeles classic.  Of course, it's pending. . .  

Feb 17, 2021 06:57 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I have seen houses ideal for generators, and automatic sprinkler systems, and dishwashers that operate, like, um, you know, good, but I've never seen tikes on the roof.

Can you send a photo? 

Thanks...

Oh, it would indeed be hard to pin the tail on the donkey under the mat.  Just sayin'.

Feb 18, 2021 03:23 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Hi Gwen... LMAO! All I could was laugh and shake my head at the same time!

Feb 18, 2021 04:18 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Haha, and I love Jane's addition! And it's pending!

haha

Feb 18, 2021 05:30 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Associate Real Estate Broker

I just can't stop smirking at the Creativity award as it so resembles some of the photos agents post of their listings

Feb 18, 2021 06:30 AM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Good morning Gwen Banta always love your bloopers posts. Thank you for sharing.

Feb 18, 2021 06:51 AM
marti garaughty
garaughty.com - Montreal, QC
a highly caffeinated creative type...

 

 

Feb 19, 2021 10:42 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I have been waiting forever for these. Honestly. You have got to write another book highlighting your collection.

Feb 20, 2021 02:20 PM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

It's good to wake up and read one of your blooper posts to start the day off right!

Feb 22, 2021 11:05 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Good lines for that fixer upper.

Feb 23, 2021 12:40 PM
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 570-801-5525

Just for fun, wonder how many of the bloopers were discovered and corrected? :)

Mar 31, 2021 10:23 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
The best agent in Southern Utah!

I literally laughed out loud at some of these Gwen, thank you for that!

Apr 12, 2021 05:53 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I was looking for your current posts.

I hope all is going well for you. Take care and be safe.

Apr 13, 2021 07:51 AM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

I like baseball and I like laughing, so both of them together kind of works for me very well! :

Apr 18, 2021 05:27 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Good Wednesday afternoon.

I hope you are enjoying a productive week.

Take care and be safe.

Apr 21, 2021 02:18 PM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Gwen, gotta love the bloopers, did you stop doing these?    Hope you are busy and able to get lots of homes closed.

Apr 24, 2021 03:54 PM
Curtis Van Carter
Better Homes & Gardens Wine Country Group - Yountville, CA
Your Napa Valley Broker Extraordinaire

Gwen

I haven't seen these in quite some time and am grateful they are back. Love the donkey under mat and your definition, cheers cvc

Apr 27, 2021 09:55 AM
Jim Patton
Aspire Home Real Estate 209-404-0816 - Modesto, CA
Realtor - Stanislaus ,Merced, San Joaquin Counties

Hello Gwen Banta and thanks for another great list of bloopers. 

Oct 02, 2021 10:35 AM
Philip A. Raices
Turn Key Real Estate - Great Neck, NY
1 of the Most Knowledgeable Brokers on the Net!

Hi Gwen, 1st time commenting.  Your bloopers are quite hilarious!  you are the Bomb of a Realtor (a positive comment, lol).  I have now found my connection to the Hills, LA     In the event you have any referrals back to Long Island, NYC, and its 5 Boroughs, consider me your Go-To-Guy. Dr. Phil of Real Estate

Jul 25, 2024 02:49 PM