It Would Be So Nice If You Weren’t Here...Just a Thought

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It Would Be So Nice If You Weren’t Here...Just a Thought


In case you’re wondering, yes there have been some people who have been told “It would be so nice if you weren’t here” during my 13 years or so at ActiveRain. 


Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! asked in the Q&A if we agreed with the decision to give the boot to those who have chosen not to abide by the ActiveRain Guidelines.


And of course, it’s not an easy question to answer. As in life, the answers aren’t always a simple Yes or No. 


Over the years I’ve seen some who were asked to leave because they chose not to follow the guidelines. From what I understand, they were given the opportunity to shake the sand out of their clothes and decide to play nice or to go find their own sandbox.

I have no problem with that.


And, yes technically, recipes and jokes and such may not be smiled on but let’s face it...who in the heck wants to read listings and market reports all day?


The family posts (yes I’m guilty), the recipes, the quotes, and photos are like the icing on and in between the layers of the cake. Without it, the cake would be blah. 


However, there are some areas in the community guidelines that need to be respected. Following them is what helps to make this the community that it is.


Snarkiness belongs on the street...copyright infringement could land you in court or cost you money and in any event, members will soon channel Dionne Warwick and Walk On By...never to return. 



It is up to ActiveRain (that would be Ben Kinney) to decide what to do in matters of who stays and who goes. However, I have learned that when members feel that certain posts could jeopardize the whole community then we make our voices heard.


For me, unless the member and their posts seriously violate the spirit of the community, then I walk on by. There are too many issues in life that require my energy.


Comments (46)

Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Hi Kathy - walking on by is fine for me.  I am not one to make a bid deal.  I think there is a nice variety of thoughts here and most play well in the sandbox.

Apr 17, 2021 03:33 AM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

Great conversation starter Kathy. For me the concern is those who leave negative comments on anything and everything. I like seeing jokes and recipes. It breaks up the stress of this job.  I have had only 1 big issue in the nearly decade here and she is still here. When i started here knowing nothing about bloggng there was some very help full people, there was a picture shared among users to promote one's blog as the feature photo. One lady who said it was hers left the meanest comments and messages i have faced. I have stayed away from her and her blog to this day.


SO when i scroll through the blog roll i love seeing the variety of posts from everyone else. Unless someone is threatening, i cant see booting them. 

Apr 17, 2021 05:04 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®

As for negative comments...  let's not forget that the author of the blog has the ability to delete comments.   

Apr 17, 2021 09:22 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!

There are 2 sides to every story Scott, whether you wish to believe that. I have proof of what really happened! Would you like for me to write a post about it?

Apr 18, 2021 09:02 AM
Sharon Miller
RE/MAX Platinum - Crane Hill, AL


Thanks for sharing a great message. What you have suggested is identified here in the the ability to "display walkin around sense"!

Apr 17, 2021 06:21 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Kathy,

You managed to say it perfectly, just like you always do! Love the appropriate for your message.

Apr 17, 2021 06:27 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Kathy,

Well stated!  I love this community for the potpourri that it offers the community.  We are all adults here and can choose what to read and who to follow.  Every day I walk away from my computer with something new that I have learned.  The guidelines work well and I think if the guidelines are violated with no regard for the community, then appropriate should be taken.  Nice discussion!


Apr 17, 2021 09:11 AM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, EXP - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Still have no idea what that question was referencing.

I find it best to focus on what matters, and ignore the things that do not, as long as nobody is being harmed I just keep on moving past.

Apr 17, 2021 09:25 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Kathy:

That's the perfect song, and post title! I love the variety and the many layers that are here, and find it pretty easy to ignore the bad behavior if I run across it. I have more than enough going on in my life business-wise, and personally, than to spend time worrying about such stuff.


And the community is pretty good about letting people who misbehave or don't abide by the rules and guidelines know that their conduct is inappropriate and unwanted.



Apr 17, 2021 11:34 AM
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

Not sure who you mean but I believe we should stick to the time tested rules that were here before I got here. They have served us well. I imagine that someday, someone will get voted off the ship.


Apr 17, 2021 11:45 AM
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

Well GM ♎ 👄❤️

and I will say with 100% honesty that there is NO ONE who I feel is less entitled to be here than I . . . yes I avoid some, and that's all that needs to be done. 
Well a binding spell, you know, dead chicken, rum, cigar, copper wire, chewing gum, lime squeeze . . .  but . . . LOL

I get a lot of entertainment at how seriously people take themselves. Why would I want that to end?  

Apr 17, 2021 11:52 AM
Ed Silva
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Kathy, we all remember a time when there were posts and comments going back and forth and one could feel the anger in the words.  The powers that be, however, ultimately, and just like a litter box, scooped out the debris

Apr 17, 2021 01:31 PM
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

Funny how some are all about the drama - even with people they don't know.  Having grown up with an older brother, I learned early to just ignore them when they want to engage, as they are only pushing your buttons for the attention.

Apr 17, 2021 04:23 PM
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

Scrolling is much like strolling.... scroll on by Stroll on By... no one can force you to read or engage in anything you dont want to be part of. 

I must miss all the drama but I have rarely seen anyone be mean or cruel or obnoxious to fellow rain members...  All in all this a very good group of people!

Apr 17, 2021 11:47 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Kathy, the question was meant to start a conversation, thanks for the mention, BTW. I still love being here and some people are passive/aggressive with their commenting, while some just verbally purge negativity or worse. I will gladly continue being me!

Apr 18, 2021 09:00 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

I've watched many come and go.  Watch the twirling of those that are innocent spin up about those that are guilty.  It feels like high school sometimes.  

Everyone measures this place by their own yardstick.  I try to be very objective with mine.

Apr 18, 2021 04:46 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

Oh the drama....luckily there hasn't been that much. Some people just don't play well with others.  

Apr 19, 2021 06:34 AM
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
Carolina Life RealEstate & Relocation 919-602-8489

I'm sure there are those who should have been asked to leave. In addition to marketing ourselves to potential buyers and sellers and promoting our properties, we're also building relationships with others on AR. Part of that is making them smile. 

Apr 20, 2021 06:44 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Kathy what a thought provoking post, just came from the Q & A and must admit, there are benefits of being busy and not get caught  up in the drama. Just on a side note,I love posting about my cooking, my pets, some of the books I read, the wines that I drink and the list goes on and on. Funny when clients connect with me and we get comfortable with each other they tell me  when we close could you cook the closing dinner? Endre

Apr 20, 2021 09:13 PM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Yep - I'll go with the walk on by plan. If I don't like it, I don't need to read it.

Apr 20, 2021 10:23 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Kathy. Agree or disagree with the actions taken to remove some from the platform, there are ruoles for playing in the sandbox. You nailed it! Sometimes you have to walk on by and skip a day. Enjoy your day.

Apr 21, 2021 05:19 AM
Jim Paulson
Progressive Realty (Boise Idaho) - Boise, ID

I concur, well said.  Trolls should be deported.  We don't need them here.

Apr 23, 2021 08:53 AM