Saying, "I'm Not Gonna Lie" Implies You Do

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Beam & Branch Realty TREC #547752

I began hearing many people use the phrase, "I'm not gonna lie" as a lead-in to a statement. It's funny how a statement like this takes fire and spreads and soon, many are using it. As I've pondered this statement, it leads me to think why would people need to place this in their dialogue?


     To me, saying this implies that typically you do lie but this time, you are not.


     Perhaps, one says this without thinking because they have heard it so many times and just started using it without thinking of its meaning.


     And finally, maybe the art of telling lies is such that we must lead with this statement in order to let the audience know where we stand at this moment.


It is interesting to hear the newest "sayings". This one has really caused me to dissect the meaning. What are your thoughts?


Posted by

Beam & Branch Realty       

"Have you fully lived today?"

   Paula L. McDonald ~ REALTOR®, 

        Granbury, Texas 

 936-203-0279 Direct

Selling Hood County and surrounding areas! 



 John Maxwell

Farm & Ranch


          ABR                 Institute for Luxury Marketing                Institute for Luxury Home Marketing


Graduate Realtor InstituteC2EX


Copyright 2021 Paula McDonald

Comments (46)

Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®
Carmel by the Sea, CA
Rothwell Realty Inc. CA#01968433 Carmel-by-the-Sea

Right in line with "trust me".  Once they bring that up, you wonder, "should I?"

May 28, 2021 06:10 AM
faye schubert
Branson, MO
Living the Branson Lake Life

I never thought about your statement" I'm not gonna lie" before they say what they're going to say. It does set up the mind to think, ok is this the truth they're going to tell me?

May 28, 2021 06:33 AM
Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farmland Broker-Auctioneer Serving Rural Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940

I am not gonna lie here...I had a great laugh reading the blog and comments from all the folks who have prevaricated on it.  To be was more like a chuckle. But if I was really going to tell (or in this case...write) the whole truth...many appear to equivocate or so it appears to me...which in turn, means I really did a head shake. I really do mean it...I am not trying to pussyfoot around the original intent of the blog...or am I? You can trust my veracity...and you can take that to the bank!! 

I have to go to work...bye!! (or maybe a garage sale)....

May 28, 2021 06:39 AM
Paula McDonald, Ph.D.
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker - very clever. Love how you word smithed this response. :)

May 28, 2021 07:10 AM
Matt Brady
Finance Of America - Del Mar, CA
One of San Diego's Best Lenders

Trust me, I am not going to lie. I enjoyed your post. Since I was a kid I have always challenged these phrases that seem to contradict the message they intend to convey.

May 28, 2021 07:27 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
Selling Homes Changing Lives

In answer to your question, according to Anne Zahra, M. Ed, Teacher of World Languages French, German, English and Spanish as a second language, she published an answer to your question several years ago:

"I think people say to be honest with you to:

  • ask your permission to be more blunt, and say something they believe you will not like or don't want to hear
  • move a step closer to you socially, treating you more as a friend than a stranger, strengthening a bond of trust with you
  • indicate they are taking a risk by giving you the information that follows, and that they want you to notice, appreciate and possibly reward them for taking this risk
  • soften a comment that otherwise may sound like criticism or complaining
  • step outside of existing roles a little bit, and speak to you more as an equal than as a person with higher or lower status (due to employment role at work, age, education level etc.)."

One must be careful when generalizinge and forming an opinion. Critical thinking, choosing words carefully, and not judging is always prudent. "Can I be honest with you," is an opening phrase previously used by HR Recruiters and Corporate Managers when trained in Behaviorial Based Interviewing.

May 28, 2021 07:31 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP

Paula McDonald, Ph.D. No. I do not lie. That's an insult. 

May 28, 2021 02:28 PM
Paula McDonald, Ph.D.

Very true - however, this post specifically refers to the statement of "I'm not going to lie". Therein lies the issue. Do you typically lie and for the sake of this particular statement you are not???

May 28, 2021 09:24 AM
Paula McDonald, Ph.D.

That was a rhetorical statement, not aimed at you Patricia.

May 31, 2021 07:34 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

Hi Paula,
My thoughts align with Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP but she said it much better than I could have.

May 28, 2021 08:15 AM
Carla Freund
Keller Williams Preferred Realty - Raleigh, NC
Carolina Life RealEstate & Relocation 919-602-8489

I'm not gonna lie, we have a lot of statements like that in the south!

May 28, 2021 08:16 AM
Ginger Harper
Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage~ Ginger Harper Real Estate Team - Southport, NC
Your Southport~Oak Island Agent~Brunswick County!

It is a red flag when someone says that

May 28, 2021 08:35 AM
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

I start everyday with "I am Tired" but I am not. I think all this is about nothing, my dad always said to never cross your arms cause it was a sign of not really listening or you were closed to the other  persons thought and that is about a bunch of horse hockey LOL. People are just different and reading them is such a waste. 

May 28, 2021 10:20 AM
Ken Jones
Toms River, NJ

Paula McDonald, Ph.D. WOW!

This is the first blog signature that's actually larger than the blog post.

May 28, 2021 12:57 PM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

No reason to announce that -IF- the TRUTH is the intention Paula McDonald, Ph.D.. LOL

May 28, 2021 02:03 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good evening Paula McDonald, Ph.D. ,

What a great post.....a pondering I can't wait to hear Michael Jacobs weigh in on!! I agree a very contradictory message.

May 28, 2021 04:03 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

My personal favorite: "Can I be honest with you?" 
Myresponse : "No lie like you usually do. "

May 29, 2021 07:12 AM
Shirley Coomer
Keller Williams Realty Sonoran Living - Phoenix, AZ
Realtor, Keller Williams Realty, Phoenix Az

I agree with you.  Why state you wouldn't lie, no one is expecting that you do!  As my mom used to say "I think thou does protest too much".

May 29, 2021 08:41 AM
Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

Some people are nervous when they talk.  They say things like "You know what I mean?", or "But the point of the matter is", or "Well, anyway, as I was saying...".

Please, just say what needs to be said!

May 29, 2021 05:58 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I think you're over analyzing.  People pick up speech "idiums" from other people without even realizing they are saying it.  I will worry about someone being a liar if I actually catch them in a lie, not if they "I'm not gonna lie"

May 30, 2021 01:37 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I have always thought it amusing when someone uses the phrase:

To be perfectly honest with you...


To tell you the truth...

It really makes you wonder; doesn't it Paula McDonald, Ph.D.??? 

May 31, 2021 07:10 AM
Mike Frazier
Carousel Realty of Dyer County - Dyersburg, TN
Northwest Tennessee Realtor

I would be suspicious of anyone who says they are not going to lie.

Jun 01, 2021 10:16 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude


It certainly makes one suspicious when you hear it. And like Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®  pointed out, it's right up there with "trust me!"


Jun 02, 2021 08:13 PM